Chasing Me Chasing You

An uncollared submissive struggling through depression, motherhood, and the constant craving of her next orgasm.

Something to Njoy

Lately Sir has really been back on an anal sex kick. It generally comes in waves; not that I’m complaining. If my stomach has a rough day or two, or we’re busy, anal often gets halted. And after a break, for whatever reason, I find that fall ‘out of shape’ quickly.

So, Sir has decided that this is no longer acceptable. It wasn’t all my fault, but it’s obviously something that needed addressed. So the other day I got an early birthday present.

Rye's new Njoy butt plug.It’s not quite as large as my glass plug, but he didn’t want me to start out with the Njoy 2.0 just yet. And what shocked me was how much easier it is to put it and wear. I guess I was sort of under the impression that all butt plugs were created equal. No, no, no. This is not the case, my friend. And, after the easy time I had putting in it, I could wear it for hours with no pain. This included three hours on Sunday during the toddler party. Enough pressure that I’m not going to forget I’m wearing it, but not so much that I can’t focus.

I know Sir is looking to move to more of a 24/7 set-up with the Njoy. I’ll be allowed to take it out for anal sex, obviously, and for bathroom reasons. Other than that, I have a feeling he’ll want it in. I’ll admit the idea of sleeping in it has me be a bit nervous. I’m not sure why. The first time I wear it to work should also be interesting. I’m sure he’ll let me take it out if I get too nervous and/or upset at the office. For awhile. But a time will come (knowing him sooner rather than later) where he just says, ‘suck it up, buttercup’.

For now I will continue my practice and hope that security at work doesn’t turn up the sensitivity one day without warning.

 

Creating a New Way

“It’s not going to fit.” I wish I had been joking. Just fluffing his ego or something; but I wasn’t. “There’s not way; I’m sorry.”

“Oh, it will fit, maybe not today. But by the time I get back down for a visit, mark my words. I’ll fit.”

*                      *                           *                       *

That was two weeks ago. Two days after he left I got a package from a lovely sex shop in London he had taken me to once or twice before. In it were three progressively larger butt plugs. Each was a plain, stainless steel tear drop shape. The smallest had a red ‘X’ on the end of the stopper, the next a black ‘X’, and the largest has a pretty emerald colored jewel. There was a note with them:

X = 3 days, at least 2 total hours/day

X = 4 days, at least 2 total hours/day

Gemstone = 7 days, at least 2 total hours/day, work up to 1 hour blocks of time

See you in two weeks cunt. xoxo

The first day was rough. Even the smallest plug was larger than any I currently owned. I found if I came once, and put my clit vibrator to high, I could relax enough to get it in. I tried to wear it as long as I could, but I ended up with several short spurts to equal my two hours.

The next few days weren’t so bad. Even moving up to the black ‘X’ size wasn’t as difficult as I had feared. Sir texted and told me to take a picture. He has colored the ends so he could tell which one I was wearing; I had wondered why they all didn’t look the same. He was happy with my progress, but warned me that the last size jump would be hard. His vote of confidence that I would be good to go when he saw me was not longer reassuring.

The day I first put the largest plug in I cried. And considering that I didn’t cry when I broke three fingers slamming my hand in the car door, that’s saying something. Even post-orgasm with the vibrator on it’s highest setting, it took me nearly ten minutes to put it in. I only wore it for another ten. There was blood. I called Sir bawling.

“I told you this was going to be difficult, but I wouldn’t ask you to do anything you weren’t capable of. Relax and give yourself an hour or so and try again.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“That’s what I like to hear.”

An hour and a half later it still hurt, a lot. But after getting it in place I was able to leave it for an hour. My body adjusted quickly after the initial pain.

The next few days didn’t help as I continued to struggled, but once in I could leave it with little pain as I went about my chores and regular work. I could feel it, but only insertion and removal were painful. My anxiety grew, however, as it was not his intention to very slowly put his cock in me and then stay perfectly still. I was worried how anything rough or even just regular movement would feel. The last thing I wanted was to safeword after all the work I had done.

*                          *                          *                           *

I wore the plug as he arrived on Friday evening. I had dinner prepared and his drink waiting for him. He had me bend over and present myself to him before we ate.

“I am happy you are wearing the plug to dinner, cunt. I appreciate your commitment to my pleasure.”

He snapped his fingers and I sat down on the floor next to him. All that I laid out for myself was a napkin. Tonight he decided to feed me rather than give me a plate. It was a welcome gesture as I’m sure he could feel my nervousness.

He decided to wait on dessert, so I put the cheesecake in the fridge and we went upstairs. He told me to remove the plug. When I reentered the bedroom his dress shirt and tie were on the chaise and he was throwing his socks in my hamper. I would wash them in the morning.

He pulled the large bottle of lube from the drawer in my bedside table. I was ordered to grab a vibrator and get into position on the bed. With a mixture of excitement and dread I just wanted it over. I wanted to be everything he wanted. My mind was racing so much I opened the wrong drawer twice trying to get my vibrator.

When I climbed on the bed I shaking. He rubbed my breasts and arms as he turned me around and pushed me out into the bed. He pulled me arms around my back and told me to hold myself open for him. The lube was cold and it felt like he was using half the bottle. I was going to make a snarky comment, but then I felt the pressure of his cock against my skin. I knew there wouldn’t be the slow entries that I had given myself with the plugs. All I could do was relax as much as possible as he grabbed my hips. I took a sharp intake of breath as he pushed his tip in an squeezed my hips with both hands.

“There’s a good girl. See, what did I tell you? If there’s no way, create one.”

Wicked Wednesday for post Stockpiled Cravings

Plug Upgrade

Sir is a great motivator. He knows exactly what will get my butt in gear. In most cases it’s the pain my butt will be in if I don’t do what he wants, but that is neither here nor there.

So I asked, I know, I’m glutton for punishment, but I asked if he could help me organize my day a bit. I’ve started working from home. And even though the boy will be going to daycare in the mornings, I still have a lot to tackle while trying to keep the house, baby 2.0, and 20 hours of work in check. And he, being a loving and supportive Dom, jumped at the task.

I am given a list, usually of ten things, of which I have to complete at least seven. They aren’t the basics; laundry and dishes are their own thing. I still have to have approved dinner made and the kids still have to be alive. But some of the tasks are for me, some are house related, and some (my favorite) are kinky. The list gives me something to focus on, and a sense of accomplishment when I get to mark things off.

Today was a bit of a rough start though. I’m still not sleeping great, so rolling out of bed was not easy this morning. I just wasn’t motivated to get going. And, as always, Sir comes to the rescue. He gave me added incentive by saying that if I complete eleven things on my list today, (he gave me twelve this morning, he was motivated) then we can go out to eat tonight, rather than the previously planned dinner. Needless to say, I got up off my butt. Several things have already been checked off after I finish my lunch I will get back to work.

The nice thing, is that these added little bonuses that he gives me makes me want to do better. I want to achieve his tasks to impress him. To make him proud of me. One of my tasks was to shoot a video of me putting my butt plug in. I have a nice purple silicone one that I’ve been wearing, as ordered, since the new year. But, he purchased a larger, glass one that he really likes. And today I put it in by myself. I know he would be impressed by my wearing it; and he would know I did it just for him. It’s warm and fuzzy and sexy and gooey all at the same time.

So I will wear my larger plug for a few hours this afternoon. Keeping me focused on service and the upcoming weekend. Hopefully I will get everything ready to have the website permanently transferred by Sunday night too. Looking forward to that. Dinner out, an impressed Sir, and a completed list. I certainly have motivation now.