#16 – Have you found your submission has changed with different partners/relationships? If you’re involved with partners of both sexes, does your submission relate or change based on gender or does it depend on the person?
In one word…drastically. I guess technically I’ve only had two Dominants. But even my sexual relationships that doesn’t include submission have been noticeably different.
I believe there are several factors at play. One of my Doms was my husband, we lived together, and we were monogamous for most of our D/s. My current, and only other Dom is long distance and we are not each other’s primary partner. So the ways that we communicate and our expectations of each other are completely different. With that in mind I’m not sure if I can really conclude that my submission changes are based on one specific thing. So far, I believe it depends on the person.
With regard to gender, I’ve only had a sexual experience with a woman once. While I would love to repeat that, there wasn’t any submission (technically) in that encounter. I’m not sure I could have a female dominant, but never say never. If I did I am sure my submission would change. But again, that could be because of the person, not necessarily the gender.
I think right now my experience is so new that it’s difficult to draw firm conclusions. If we had played regularly with others or I had been loaned out to other Doms I may have more opinions. Right now I’m still trying to figure out my new submissive relationship while figuring out what went wrong as my husband and I tried BDSM. Not necessarily to ‘fix’ it, but more to learn about myself and my needs.
Check out the other questions in the 30 days of Kink and my answers so far here.