Chasing Me Chasing You

An uncollared submissive struggling through depression, motherhood, and the constant craving of her next orgasm.

The Bits I Love

DSCN0817So this is how my evening started. We’ll skip over the emotional crap of the day and just say that Tuesday was rough. But Sir motivated me to push through by telling me that we were going to try something new. He certainly knows how to get me going.

After we got the kids to bed and I walked into our bedroom I saw the rope laid out across the bed. I was so excited when Sir told me he wanted to try a new harness tie. And I would show you the front, but I get really self conscious about my breasts in harness ties when they aren’t wrapped really tight. They tend to sag and I struggle with the abuse my children have done to them. But just being wrapped up was amazing. He hugged me and kissed my shoulders and neck as he walked around me. I think that is what really attracted me to rope bondage. It’s a real connection that I love. I love the pictures and posts that Cammies on the Floor does about their rope play. We are just starting out, no where near their level, but I assume the feelings are similar.

So, harness done, I was relaxed and smiling from ear to ear. Then he hold me to climb on the bed and put my feet in the air. I’ll be honest and say that my smile dropped a bit. Then, thanks to a comment on a post earlier this week from my twitter boyfriend, he pulled out some twine.

DSCN0822It’s all about balance. And I think he strikes it well when he gives me these little treats and then lets his sadistic nature make an appearance. He wouldn’t want me to be too comfortable, would he? And he’s made our clothespin collection more interesting by wrapping them in electrical tape. I think it may have started from a place of being nice, because he didn’t want them to splinter. However, now they are just a tool for mean as they are slightly sticky and when they are removed they pull at the skin. So aside from the standard pain of being removed, we also have the stinging pain of at least one side ripping at my skin. Fun times, let me tell you.

DSCN0831While the picture may make me look like a trusted up turkey, please know that it felt amazing. I just laid there in a puddle for awhile. I think he likes to leave me like that. I’m sure I make good faces. And because it will bother me for you, dear reader, to think so, I did laundry yesterday. Please ignore the pile of clothes behind me. Focus on the fact that I have twine tied to my big toes. Because, trust me, that’s what I was focused on.

The whole scene was magic. I was so turned on and gooey that even one of his really hard spankings felt good. We were both excited that I actually enjoyed it. I almost felt embarrassed asking for him to hit me harder. But he was more than willing (yeah, because sadist) and he said it was really hot. I love it when we are both really hot. I makes for an amazing evening.

DSCN0838And just because I was so entertained by this picture. I had to include the shot where Sir’s dick makes an appearance. I commented that we would need to get some dick pics on the blog. He said that he thought he made some cameo appearances in the some of the photos. So when I came across this I was so excited. Maybe sometime I will get a chance to get more than just the tip. But as my hands are usually tied up and he’s the one with the camera, I’m not holding my breath. Enjoy the bits you get I guess, I certainly do.

No Begging

So Sir tells me that I am going to get to come. I don’t even have to ask. Then he smiles, and I know the catch is coming. But, he says, I can’t tell him to stop. I can’t beg him to stop. No pushing him away.

There is always a catch. Slave tip: You never get something for nothing.

My first orgasm was amazing. He took this very sensual route. I love oral when he really takes his time (I’m sure that’s kind of a ‘duh’ statement, but I do). There was a lot of moaning and nipple pinching. And I was so horny all day it was just a beautiful release.

And then…he kept going. And through my continued moans I heard the vibrator click on. As soon as it hit my already throbbing clit I nearly shot off the bed. After not coming for several days I thought that I would be able to handle some extended attention, but my clit disagreed. I immediately started to wiggle and try to catch my breath. He quickly reminded me of my orders by slapping my breasts and pushing my legs down. It was effective.

After a few more orgasms (I may have blacked out at one point), and a quick break to suck his cock for a moment, he climbed on top of me. I was a worn out rag doll, but that didn’t keep me from enjoying the truly hard fucking that Sir gave me. I’m not honestly sure what position he moved me into, but the word deep doesn’t even cover it. Orgasmic bliss covers it.

After cleaning us both up I think I literally fell onto the floor. He put me on the floor last night as I may have made a bit of a mess on his side of the bed (I say it was his fault, but he didn’t agree). So he slept on my side and I curled up into a puddle of orgasm goo. I so love being his fuck puppet.

Office Assistant

“I’m going to go to my office for a bit and work”. He walked out of the kitchen and down the hall. I quickly finished rinsing the pan that I was washing and dried my hands on the towel. I was stripping off clothes as I ran down the back hallway. He usually stopped in the bathroom on his way to his study, to give me a chance to get ‘settled in’. I threw my clothes in a hamper by the dryer and walked quickly and quietly into his office.

As I had hoped, he wasn’t there yet. I slid his desk chair back and took my position under his desk. I moved the chair back in place. I had closed the door behind me, so he would have to open it and I would know when he entered; I spent the next few moments stretching my legs and getting comfortable in the tight space. When I heard the door open I got into position. His large stride had him behind the desk in seconds, and I heard his computer turn on.

When he said ‘work’, he could mean actual work, or just enjoying some porn; because I didn’t know which I had to be prepared. There where times when he took business calls as I sat there, so I couldn’t make a noise. When I heard the moans and slaps echo under the desk from his computer, I knew which definition of ‘work’ we were going with. I began to play with my breasts in anticipation. This little game always aroused me, but the wetter I could be for him the better.

Without saying anything he grabbed my hip and pulled me backward. I heard the chair slide to one side as he went down on his knees. Even though he had pulled me back, when he slammed his cock into me I flew forward so far I bumped my head on the desk. I quickly moved back further to avoid a massive headache. His tempo was relentless and amazing. It seemed like he was trying to keep up with the couple he was watching on the screen. At first I could hear their grunts and moans, but they were quickly drowned out by Sir smacking my ass and thighs. My own groans echoed all around my head in the tight space. The idea of being his office whore was overwhelmingly hot and I had to focus hard not to cum.

“You’re not going to cum, are you hole?” He had an annoying knack for knowing exactly when I got close. “Hole’s are not allowed to cum”.

Hole’s aren’t allowed to talk either, so I didn’t respond and kept focusing on anything but how close I was to orgasm. I heard a few loud shrieks, as the woman on the video was apparently not a hole and was coming quite loudly. His own grunts followed the woman as my head was thrust into the back of the desk again. This time I didn’t mind it as it kept me from coming myself.

Without a word he gave my ass a hard slap and got up from the floor. His chair was rolled back into position and the computer went silent. I heard his zipper as he put his pants back on and the thud as his briefcase was put on top of his desk. I sat quietly, running my fingers through my matted hair, and waited for him to tell me to leave. A few minutes passed and I almost asked him, but holes don’t talk. Sensing my distress at not knowing what to do, he got up from his chair and returned a few seconds later with a blanket from the back of the couch. He wanted me to stay. I love it when I get to stay.

I took the blanket. Even with my head lowered, I knew he could see my smile as he stroked my hair. I curled up with the blanket and let the sound of his keystrokes lull me to sleep.

Training Session, Part I

So I have this fantasy….

Where I am blindfolded and seated next to Sir. We are in a room with a female dominant and others that entered after my eyes were covered. I can hear footsteps and Sir tells me to open my hand and hands me a drink. It is just water, but my body is already shaking in anticipation, so water was fine. Sir sipped his glass of bourbon (I can smell it) and explains to me what is about to happen. When we arrived he said I was to be used to help train some new submissives, and he was going to use the opportunity to train me as well, but that was it. Now he explained that it would be my job to try and make male submissives come, and they would be punished if I succeeded. Their Domme would choose how I was to tempt each one.

I asked about whether I would be allowed to come as well. Sir explained that that would be my training. I was not allowed to touch myself, unless the Domme ordered, but I needed to come at least once with each sub. I thought about this and realized their must be some sort of catch. He laughed as he must have seen my confused face. He grabbed my collar to pull me in close, told me he loved me, and threw me onto the floor. I scrambled into a present position, trying to look graceful and poised. Sir must have had great faith in me to loan me out for a training like this, I wanted to make him look good.

Rye, stand up.

I immediately stood, hands behind my head.

Very pretty girl. Your Sir was right to show you off. My name is Dawn, but you are to call me Mistress, do you understand?

Yes, Mistress

Lovely. You are here to help me with a few of my subs. They aren’t as well trained as you, my dear. You must help them to appreciate their service to me as a fulfillment of my needs, not their own. So, your Sir and I have discussed your talents and how they may help me to test these bulls. You will have three chances to show me how worthless they are. First with that pretty little pussy of yours, then with your mouth, and if they can hold out, your asshole. If they come during any of these tasks, they will be punished, if they do not, then you will be punished. Your Sir highly recommends you, so I expect results. Do you understand?

Yes, Mistress

Now, I understand that your Sir has his own challenge for you. But be aware, my subs have not been given permission to hurt you, though they can touch you, should they wish. However, you are only to take orders from you Sir or myself. Are you ready to begin?

Yes, Mistress

Your Sir will help you up on the bed and we will get started. Also, just for clarification, when I am speaking to you I will call you Rye. My subs all have various names and slurs and I don’t want to confuse you.

Sir helped me up onto the bed. He began rubbing my clit.

You are going to do great, cunt. You never cease to amaze me.

He slapped my ass and moved off the bed as I heard footsteps approach.

I felt a hand on my hip as a cock slammed into me from behind. I felt the body behind me shudder and sigh as he started to move almost immediately. I tried to match the rhythm. If I could come quickly, then I could focus on making him come. The last thing I wanted was to disappoint Sir and be punished. But the sub kept changing his rhythm, making it hard for me to match, or build toward orgasm. It became clear that this was his plan. He would try and keep himself from coming by stops and starts. Not a terrible idea, but that wouldn’t help me. We both wanted to avoid a punishment, so I couldn’t let it rattle me. I started to grind back onto him. He could go as slow or fast as he wanted, but his balls still hit my clit every time he thrust forward. I couldn’t keep from moaning as I found the perfect spot.

Are you pleasuring her, you waste, or just trying not to come? You are being selfish, slave. 

I felt him thrust forward in a jolt and I heard the slap second as it came across his ass. He groaned and I moaned as he ground against me. A few more of those and Mistress would be doing my work for me. The sub slowed again and I pushed back against him in protest. This was almost aggravating. He picked up speed again and I realized it was because his Mistress was walking around the bed. I could hear her heels clicking up by my head. I couldn’t hear Sir though I knew he was there, he would never leave me.

That thought was all I needed to set me off. I picked up my own speed, grinding against him and moaning. He tried to slow my pace as he grabbed my hip, but I was too close. I moaned and grabbed at the bed sheets.

Let her come you selfish worm.

The subsequent slap on his ass was just what I needed. He thrust forward and I cried out. He kept moving inside me, but I stopped pushing back against him. I needed a moment to recover before I set to my task.

Stop slave. Your efforts for her were pitiful, but she came even without your help. Now you will have to let her try her skills. Rye, I want you get up off the bed. Your Sir is to your right and will help you. Scum, you are to lay down on the bed.

I moved to my right and found Sir’s hand waiting for me. He helped me up and kissed me hard. He didn’t have to say he was proud of me, his hands said it for him. He sat in a chair a few steps away and let me sit on his lap. I’m sure it was only for a few minutes, but it felt like hours. I could hear rope and clips over on the bed, but I remained cuffless, so I assumed the other sub was being restrained.

We are ready for you Rye. He has been completely restrained to your will. Your Sir has detailed your talents such that to keep things interesting, you will only have five minutes to make him come. I have no doubt that you will be successful. Please don’t disappoint me.

Yes, Mistress.

Sir helped me back up on the end of the bed. I was between the subs legs. I rubbed up his thighs with both hands to find his cock erect and I could hear his heavy breathing. Without the ability to change rhythm, I knew I could bring him to climax within the time.

I licked up and down his shaft as I massaged his balls. I took him into my mouth to gauge his length and girth. He was slightly longer than Sir, but didn’t have the girth that my Sir possessed. I used my tongue as I pulled out to the tip and back down to take him again. He moaned and struggled against the ropes and I smiled.

She’s good and she knows it, worm. Four minutes left.

I picked up speed and took him as deep as I could. I kept massaging his legs so I could feel his muscles tense. When he started to tighten, I knew I had found the right speed. I reached up and found one of his nipples. I rubbed it slightly until it peaked in my fingers. He groaned and started to thrust his hips. I used my other hand to hold down his pelvis and started to pull gently on his nipple. I kept up the same speed as his legs started to shake and his breathing quickened.

I let go of his hip as I pinched down on his nipple. He immediately began thrusting wildly. I tightened my lips around him. A few groans and strains and hot liquid shot down my throat. I kept him in my mouth as he softened and relaxed. I rubbed his stomach and legs to calm him down. Almost as a way of saying sorry for the punishment he would now receive, because of me.

I sat up to kneeling and laid my hands on my thighs; waiting for further instructions.

Get up scum. She unmanned you. Go back to your cage. Rye, your skills are not exaggerated. Take a few minutes to get some water and see to your Sir. I will go and retrieve your next victim.

Sir helped me off the bed again and handed me the water glass.

It took you three and half minutes, Rye. I am surprised. Next time you will do it in two.

I took a sip of water.

Yes, Sir.

I am….

So I may have started out our date on the wrong foot. We were early for the movie, so Sir took me to Michael’s to look for some scrapbook paper for the books I am making for the boys. We were wondering around the store and he stopped to look at a display for moon sand. If you haven’t seen this stuff, it’s like playdoh, but lighter and it crumbles like sand. It’s definitely an odd texture. But he touched it and then told me to as well. So I did. But I didn’t realize that there was a lot of glitter in it that subsequently stuck to my hand. And, being the anti-glitter fanatic that I am, I immediately tried to rub the glitter off my fingers. Unfortunately, the first thing my fingers found was Sir’s shirt. I looked up as soon as I realized what I had done, but his eyes were already popping out of his head. I think if he could have, I would have gotten my punishment immediately. Instead he told me I would receive twenty swats, but he wasn’t going to let it ruin the evening. Stupid glitter.

We went to go see Avengers: Age of Ultron. We are both pretty dorky when it comes to the Marvel universe, so it was nice to get to see it in the theatre. We both enjoyed it, but I think the first Avenger’s movie was better. A lot of talented actors though. Hey, it was two and a half hours where I got to sit and relax, get felt up, and not have a kid screaming at me. I’ll take it.

Dinner was really nice too. Just the chance to talk. Regular talks about how we are doing and constructive criticism for both of us has been a huge help. And I think that has helped his self-confidence to take me where he wants and my self-confidence to let him. We have been more honest and up-front about our needs during the last ten months of this process than the previous six years of our marriage and two years of dating. Our drive back we just sat in this quiet connection.

We got the kids to bed and chatted for bit with my mother-in-law. Then Sir told me to go to our room, strip, and get into present position on his side of the bed. I think I skipped down the hall. He walked in and got ready for bed. I think he played on his IPad for a minute or so, he likes to make me wait. I could smell how turned on I was; I know he could too. He went and got his belt and put it around my neck. Then he took me for ‘a walk’. I don’t know how some of those women crawl and look sexy and graceful. I’m sure I looked like a clunky farm animal trying to keep up.

He took me to the bed and told me to get into position for my punishment. I had really hoped he had forgotten about the glitter, but no. He was generous with the twenty smacks, it could have been a lot more. However, he chose to put them all in the same spot and by number seven I was squirming. My left ass cheek was warmer than my right for the rest of the night. But when he was fucking me, I’m not really sure I cared. Besides, I had other things to keep my busy.

I know some Dom’s like to sing, or talk, or even whistle during sex. Sir isn’t much of a talker. Though when he gets close to coming he growls and it’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard. Anyway, Sir likes me to talk during sex. It’s usually something specific. A mantra, or a phrase he wants me to complete. Last night’s was “I am”. I had to list all the pet names that Sir calls me. As many as I could think of.

I am Rye. I am cunt. I am fuckpuppet. I am fuckmeat. I am slut. I am hole. I am a thing for you to put your dick into. I am a mouth, a pussy, an asshole for Sir.

Then I had to repeat it. Also, to keep my brain from getting to relaxed, I had to ‘be nice’ and alternately, ‘be mean’ to my nipples at his command. The sensory overload was torture and bliss. It’s amazing to me how those two things go hand and hand.

It was an amazing night. The communication is having a direct effect on both of us and it’s great.

Now I need to go unload the groceries since Sir was nice enough to go to the store and let me stay here and write.

Morning usefulness

The dawn creeps in through the window. The comfort of the duvet and the mattress mixed with his calm breathing next to me makes this the most relaxing place in the world.

The Boy runs in and out of the room a few times, looking for a toy, but he settles in his room and plays quietly. So I roll over to stroke Sir’s chest, we don’t have to get up right away. He massages my leg as I wake up his cock. He moans quietly as we both sink into the bed. He is so smooth, so soft. It’s the softest thing I have ever felt; like minky fabric, velvet, and satin all in one. It’s like meditation.

After several restful minutes Sir felt I could be of better use. I will continue to be amazed how he can be so rough and tender at the same time. And we have perfected the art of quiet sex. I really tried hard not to bite his shoulder. Ok, not that hard.

I think after morning sex beds get even more comfortable. I bet I looked like a puddle.

A happy Saturday morning puddle to you!

I’m a Fuckpuppet

“Here, fuck yourself with this while I brush my teeth.” Not going to argue. I was pretty wet and going by the time he got back. I never realized how thorough he was when cleaning his teeth. Not complaining, just admiring.

“Good job, you may continue while you suck my cock.” Again, not arguing here. He laid across the bed and I turned to get to work. I found this spot, I think it was right under my clit, but I was a little preoccupied. Wherever it was, it was a direct link to everything gooey and wonderful in my head. Anyway, I started grabbing at his chest to let him know that I close. I was really really close. “You can cum, as much as you want, just don’t take me out of your mouth.” I pushed on that spot. It was the most relaxing and amazing feeling. And I came. I came three or four times. I lost count. I couldn’t focus on much. Except that I actually ejaculated. I have never done that before, and it was amazing. It felt great, until it didn’t. It was crazy how after the endless stream of orgasms I started to hurt. I was still moaning and he was too, but the frenzy had passed.

“Ok, climb on top of me fuckpuppet”. I did as I was told, but I wanted to tell him about my ‘new achievement’.

“I made a mess”. I had a huge grin on my face so he actually took a second to sit up, then he grinned too.

“You did, you dirty slut.” Oh the love.

I climbed on top of him. I was already sore from my multiple orgasms, so his cock felt huge inside me. And, after another forced orgasm he flipped me over and slammed into me. That really hurt. In a good way, of course, but hurt.

“You going to cum again, fuckpuppet?” He slapped my ass and I moaned into the duvet. “Put your finger in your ass.” I did immediately and we both moaned. We both came in moments. Puddles of goo and sex juice, we finally got up.

My pussy hurt. It throbbed and stung a little. Sir kept laughing at me as I tried to get comfortable in bed. Every time I moved I would moan and he would snicker.

“Oh, my poor little fuckpuppet”.

Submissive or not, and despite the pitch dark in our room, I could see and still wanted to smack the grin off his face. My clit throbbed, as if he were pinching it at that exact moment to correct my improper thought. I am such a fuckpuppet.