Chasing Me Chasing You

An uncollared submissive struggling through depression, motherhood, and the constant craving of her next orgasm.

ELust #100

Elust 100

Photo courtesy of Wriggly Kitty

Welcome to Elust 100

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #101 Start with the rules, come back December 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

 

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

He’s Out of My League

Pink Hair, Don’t Care!

I’m a feminist but…

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Pain Sluts and Brain Squirrels

His Car Keys

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

Raw

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Writing About Writing

Why Financial Disclosures Matter on Your Blog

Erotic Fiction

Caught
An American Werewolf in London
The Spider and the Fly
Faithfully
kitten

Body Talk and Sexual Health

Static
Over exposed?

Erotic Non-Fiction

Mirror Image
Return to Position, Part 1
One Present Moment
Edgy Morning
The Date-Aversary Continues
The Smell, Taste and Love of Chocolate.

Poetry

-01.11.17_18:26-

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

Asking can be sexy too!
Soaring in Space
Age Play
MY PEOPLE, HER PEOPLE. The FemDom ball
Stroke of luck

Sex News, Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Adult Content on Patreon
Censorship on Share our Shit Saturday
#SSoS Sharing for the Win

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

#iTalkSex Why I Talk Sex
Radical Acceptance In Relationships
So… ghosting is an acceptable thing now
What giving a collar means to me

Blogging

Reflections on us and the blog

 

 

Elust 88

2017 Cookie Exchange

It’s finally come around again. The Cookie Exchange organized by the lovely Jz is back to kick of this holiday season.

I can’t describe how amazing these are. Don’t look at calories or sugar.

~

Chocolate Sandwich Gobs

2 cups sugar
1 cup margarine, melted
2 eggs, beaten
4 cups, flour
1/2 cup, unsweetened cocoa
2 tsp., salt
1 cup, buttermilk or sourmilk
2 tsp., baking soda
Chocolate Icing (homemade or a can)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Combine sugar, margarine, and beaten eggs in a large bowl; mix well. Sift together flour, cocoa, and salt. Add dry ingredients to creamed mixture, alternately with buttermilk. Add baking soda to dough, mixing until combined. Drop spoonfuls on greased cookie sheets.

Bake for 10 minutes. Let cool completely. Form sandwiches by placing icing between two cookies.

~

Check out all the other bloggers taking part today. Hope you find some great recipes to add to your list this holiday.

Baker

Bleue

blossom

Bogey and Bacall

Cat

DelFonte

Ella

Greengirl

Jz

Katie

Kelly

Lindy

Mrs. Fever

Ms Dixie Wrecked

nilla

Olivia

ronnie

Ryan

Sassy

selkie (recipe here)

Horrible Truth

Ok, the first truth isn’t that horrible. It’s just a truth. It’s about oral. I love giving oral sex. Sucking cock is one of my favorite things. Using my mouth to bring someone such pleasure is a true joy for me. One of the few things that gives me power that actually enjoy. I also loved the one time I was able to give oral sex to a woman. I can get into a zone where it’s calming. Just to sink into the other person’s pleasure. So erotic. I get turned on as I do it and when they cum I get the strongest sense of satisfaction.

Here’s that horrible part. It’s also about oral. I’m getting sick of it. I know, it’s hard for even me to accept. But I am. It’s just not fun.

I think it may because it’s all we do. We don’t have penetrative sex of any kind. Certainly no ‘All Anal November’ for me this year. We had sex the other day, in the middle of the afternoon. It was blissful. But it was no foreplay, no aftercare (though we aren’t D/s anymore), and I didn’t cum. He gave me oral for the first time in six months the other day. I’m not sure what caused the sudden change of heart toward my vagina, not that I’m complaining. But aside from these few breaks from the norm over the last few weeks, oral sex has been the limit of our intimacy.

As I previous stated, I love oral sex. But I’m getting to the point where I just need a break. I just groan when photo after photo comes up on my naughty tumblr. I can’t masturbate to it anymore. And whenever I see it in porn I tend to roll my eyes. Which just feels sad. I want to love it all the time. And it feels wrong that oral just doesn’t inspire me anymore.

Maybe I just want to be appreciated more. Maybe I just want a bit of a challenge. Maybe I just need to be fucked. Or more likely, a little from all three.

See other topics that people are musing over or who they consider their muse for this weeks Wicked Wednesday.

Wicked Wednesday for post Stockpiled Cravings

Pins and Needles

Why don’t you go put your Njoy in? 

Sounds like fun. I’ll be back in a bit.

I walked upstairs and closed the bedroom door. Too many wank sessions have been interrupted by whiny kids; I’ve learned from my mistakes. After grabbing the lube, njoy, and a towel I climbed up on the bed. Although I have done it several ways, I have found that putting the njoy in by myself is easier if I’m squatting on my knees. And doing it while I cum is just extra fun for me.

Sitting on my knees I began flipping through tumblr. I have several go to pages. Lately I’ve been a sucker for MFM threesomes. They just turn me into a dripping puddle in record time. But, for whatever reason, I could find anything that really sucked me in. I kept flipping through photos and videos, looking for the perfect scene. It’s hard when you know what you want. And I wanted to see a sexy spit-roast.

You know the shot. It’s often in black and white. She’s stretched across the bed, looking eagerly at one man’s cock. She’s massaging his thigh, begging him to lean in closer. At the same time the other gentleman is thrusting into her cunt. Holding her hips and pushing her mouth into the other man’s cock. I’m not sure what it is, but it’s just hot. And it was exactly what I wanted at that moment to help me cum.

The photo wasn’t coming around though. I flipped through my favorites and couldn’t find anything close. It wasn’t until I went down a rabbit hole of new people that I stumbled across what I needed. What I craved.

I lubed up the Njoy and grabbed my Doxy. I put my phone on the bed in front of me so I could zone in on the short video (set to repeat) while I put the plug in. I was turned on in seconds. The doxy worked it’s magic wonderfully as my body tried to relax.

The njoy was cold, but it quickly warmed by my thighs. Or maybe I just didn’t notice. Because, as I continued to press the njoy inside me, I was also pressing the doxy against my clit. My orgasm was seconds away and it was a now or never moment. I leaned into the doxy and up onto my knees. My body relaxed as I groaned and the njoy found it’s home. But all this happened so fast, I didn’t really feel any of it.

All I could feel was the painful tingling of my legs waking up from being asleep.

The entire time I had been searching for the perfect porn I had been sitting back on my knees, and they had gone numb. When I leaned forward in the height of my orgasm they shot back to life in an intense wave of pins and needles.

My orgasm was ruined and all I could do was roll onto my side and wait for the pain to subside. I was so embarrassed. I walked downstairs. My husband asked if I was alright. I told him I spent so long looking for porn that my legs went numb and they decided to wake up in the middle of my orgasm.

He laughed and told me to tweet it. So I did.

Masturbation Monday logo

Define Your Kink: Day 16

#16 – Have you found your submission has changed with different partners/relationships? If you’re involved with partners of both sexes, does your submission relate or change based on gender or does it depend on the person?

In one word…drastically. I guess technically I’ve only had two Dominants. But even my sexual relationships that doesn’t include submission have been noticeably different.

I believe there are several factors at play. One of my Doms was my husband, we lived together, and we were monogamous for most of our D/s. My current, and only other Dom is long distance and we are not each other’s primary partner. So the ways that we communicate and our expectations of each other are completely different. With that in mind I’m not sure if I can really conclude that my submission changes are based on one specific thing. So far, I believe it depends on the person.

With regard to gender, I’ve only had a sexual experience with a woman once. While I would love to repeat that, there wasn’t any submission (technically) in that encounter. I’m not sure I could have a female dominant, but never say never. If I did I am sure my submission would change. But again, that could be because of the person, not necessarily the gender.

I think right now my experience is so new that it’s difficult to draw firm conclusions. If we had played regularly with others or I had been loaned out to other Doms I may have more opinions. Right now I’m still trying to figure out my new submissive relationship while figuring out what went wrong as my husband and I tried BDSM. Not necessarily to ‘fix’ it, but more to learn about myself and my needs.

Check out the other questions in the 30 days of Kink and my answers so far here.

Define Your Kink: Day 15

#15 – Has your submission evolved over time? If so, how has it evolved for you? If not (or if you are just starting out) how might you see or imagine it evolving in the future?

Yes, though I will say that I my need to submit has always remained and even grown.

My submission has had several twists; even in the few short years that I have found it. When I started this journey nearly five years ago, I thought I was just looking for a bit of weekend fun with my husband. Something to spice up our relationship and allow me to relax amidst all my stress and depression. Very quickly I fell in love with the idea of submission. I wanted to be a slave. I wanted to be taken care of by my master. I wanted to serve. And I think with that love grew expectations that my husband could never meet. I was adding more and more desires with such speed, that it took him stopping everything to slow me down. As much as it hurt to hit it, that concrete wall in the middle of the highway the only thing that forced me to reflect.

Removing my collar was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. I think I cried more about that than I did during childbirth. And I stepping back I’ve been able to better define my needs, not just my wants. I want to be a human pet. I want to serve and be spoiled. To be cuddled and fucked and rewarded for my good deeds.

Being without daily submission is a struggle. Sir and I talk every day, which is lovely. But the distance is difficult. So many of my relationships seem to be that way anymore. So, with a distance submission has come more evolution. I need to understand that Sir says what he means, which is often difficult through text. I have always been one to read too much into things, so I have to be careful. And it’s hard feeling like I’ve actually served him when I’ve done nothing more than let him know I made it home from work safely. When he’s had a long day I just want to rub his feet and make him coffee; it’s hard that he can’t depend on me for those things.

I’m sure as my submission, distance or otherwise, grows it will continue to change. Hopefully I can find new ways to serve and feel my submission. Needs and desires change. If you had told me a year ago that I would be without my collar and hardly having sex once every three months I wouldn’t have believed you. I have a husband, a lover, and a dominant and they all want different things from me. And I get different things from them. Eventually I will figure out how it all fits together and how the special people in my life can support me as I care for them.

Check out my other Define your Kink answers and the upcoming questions.

Define Your Kink: Day 14

#14 – Does religion have any bearing on your decision to submit? If not, are you familiar with religious based submission and do you view it as similar to other types of submission or dissimilar?

While I was baptized and confirmed in the Protestant faith, my religion has little to do with my daily life today. I don’t attend regular services or really take part in an faith-based activities anymore. I’m really not a spiritual person. With that in mind, my religion (or, more accurately, my religious upbringing) don’t have any bearing in my kinks or need to submit.

I’ll admit I know nothing about religious based submission. I don’t see that ever really being part of my kink. It doesn’t have a part in my vanilla life, so I don’t see it playing a role in my BDSM life either.

Check out my other Define your Kink answers and leave your own.

Define Your Kink: Day 13

#13 –  Is sexual availability, being available to your partner any time he or she wants, part of your submission? Why or why not? Are there limits to this?

Yes, please!

Sexual availability is huge for me. I think it’s easily one by my biggest kinks. It was also my first kink realization. Being ready (shaved, wet, etc.) for my partner is a huge turn on. The idea that I am available for use, even when it may not be the most convenient for me is important too. Stopping in the middle of a round of dishes is more than worth my Dom getting their desires.

I think, for me, it all boils down to being craved. The idea that they have to have me right now. They can’t wait another minute. The idea that I could make someone feel that way is so amazing. Even if I weren’t eager for sex before, the idea that my Dom couldn’t stand to wait another moment to use me would certainly have me wet post haste.

The reality that I would be that attractive to someone is, I’ll admit, somewhat difficult for me to believe. But trusting someone to be my Dom and take care of me would mean putting my trust in them. That would include believing them. So if they wanted to use me, I would have to believe that it was because they were truly attracted to me. Not an easy thing for me to accept, but it’s always been something that I’ve wanted to work on within the safety of a D/s dynamic.

I’m not looking for D/s or kink to magically fix my self-esteem issues, but sexual availability would certainly force me to deal with several aspects of my poor self-image. I don’t want it to seem like I’m looking for a Dom to fix me (not holding my breath there), but I would appreciate help in working on my flaws.

As far as limits go, I guess just within the hard limits that our relationship includes. I have two kids, so there may be some instances where their care would have to come before sex. My availability couldn’t threaten my job either. But in general, common sense terms I would happily be available whenever our dynamic is active.

Check out my 30 Days of Kink to read my previous answers and those who are writing along.

Rope Tattoo

He had a tattoo. It was one of the first things I noticed about him. Honestly, it’s the first thing I notice about most people. But there was something that caught my eye from across the room.

Rope. It was so close to my lace that I couldn’t take my eyes off it. It weaved around his arm in this interesting pattern. There were even items and symbols within it that I couldn’t make out from across the room, just like my cameo pieces. No wonder he wore a sleeveless shirt under this suit jacket.

All the Doms finished hanging up their jackets and began mingling around the bar getting drinks. I stood with the other subs as we finished removing our clothes. Some collared subs walked back over to their Doms for direction; one woman crawled. Those of us without a partner sat together. We chatted about how good the dinner was, and what new sex blogs we’re reading. It was nice to sit and chat with them, but I kept an eye on the tattooed Dom.

He didn’t appear to have a sub, the was sitting with a few other guys at the bar. I kept watching him and telling myself to go talk to him. My confidence just wasn’t letting me get out of the chair. One of the other subs saw me staring and encouraged me to at least go say ‘hi’. She didn’t recognize him as a regular. I told her that I really like his tattoo; she told me that that was a good start. I felt like a teenager wanting to tell a boy I liked him.

I’m sure it was because I was staring, but one of the Doms he was sitting with noticed me and pointed me out. I couldn’t avoid it any longer. I thought about crawling, like the one earlier sub, but I thought that would be a bit too much for an initial meeting. So I set my drink down (luckily just water as I’m sure alcohol would have made me even more nervous) and walked over to the bar. He had turned toward me when the Dom pointed out my staring, but I still bowed my head as I approached.

“Hello. My name is Rye. I really like your tattoo.”

“Hello Rye. My name is Stephen. I like your tattoo as well. Is that why you were watching me?” I was pretty sure the shade of red that my face turned was evidence enough, but nodded anyway. He smiled. “Would you like to come sit with us Rye? We were actually just talking about Master/slave tattoos.”

I smiled and knelt down on the floor. If I’m honest, about half out of respect and half because there wasn’t an empty chair. Stephen smiled at my gesture and brushed a strand of hair out of my face. It was very sweet and I could feel nervousness subside a bit. The conversation quickly returned to lock and key tattoos. I just sat and listened for awhile, but when Stephen asked my opinion I had an answer ready.

“Kink tattoos in general really appeal to me. I have a tattoo that represents my submission as a whole, but I would be hesitant to get a name, kink or otherwise, tattooed on me. I prefer symbols to represent a person or relationship, rather than a name. You can remember a period in your life for it’s good points, but sometimes a name can carry a negative weight.”

“See Stephen, if you were smart like her you wouldn’t have had to get that huge cover up on your arm to remove your ex-wife’s name.” A few of the other Doms chuckled and my eyes went wide. I was so afraid that I had offended him with my opinionated mouth. I sighed at my own stupidity and waited to be sent back to my sub’s table.

Instead, Stephen reached down and rubbed my shoulder. When I looked up he nodded to let me know he wasn’t mad. He traced one of my larger cameos and followed the lace down my arm.

“Rye, would you like to get a drink and private table with me?”

Considering that I thought I had just offended him, I balked for a brief moment. His face was so kind, however, that that concern vanished quickly. “That would be wonderful. Could I have a cream soda please, I have to drive home?”

Stephen ordered our drinks, helped me up, and led me to an empty table across the room.

“I didn’t even know they had cream soda here.” He said as he pulled out a chair to let me know that I didn’t have to kneel on the floor.

“Yeah, they get it from a local brewery that also makes a root beer. It’s quite good. One of the bartenders recommended it when I said I was tired of being the DD who always got diet pepsi, now it’s all I order.”

“Sounds like you could teach me a lot of the hidden gems of this place. How long have you been coming here?”

“About three years. A previous partner brought me for demo sessions, but when he moved on and stopped coming I stayed. I like the community here.”

“I’ve been coming to Dom meetings here for a few months, but this is my first member dinner.”

“Well, I hope you’ll keep coming. Assuming, of course, I stop making a fool of myself with my comments and opinions.”

“Don’t even worry about it. It was my own fault for getting her name tattooed on me in the first place. It was supposed to be a surprise for her and she hated it. Guess I should have know then.”

“Whoever did your cover-up did a great job. It looks amazing. I have a huge thing for rope, so it caught my eye immediately.”

“You don’t say. Well, you should see some of my other tattoos.” He leaned back in his chair and took a drink.

“Yes, please.” I grinned as he smiled at me. A jolt of excitement and nervousness ran through me. I set my drink down on the table as my hands were starting to shake a bit.

I really wish I had asked for something a bit stronger than cream soda.

To be continued…

See what others are writing about tattoos this week by clicking below.

Wicked Wednesday for post Stockpiled Cravings

Define Your Kink: Day 12

#12 – Do you include financial submission within the definition of your own submission and if yes, how does it manifest itself? If no, is there a particular reason why? Are you familiar with the concepts of financial submission? Do you have an opinion about financial submission in general?

I do not include any financial aspects as part of my submission. If anything, I’m a sucker for a gift. A lot of that could be ignorance. I don’t know too much about the basics of financial submission.

One of the big reasons I’ve always shied away from it is the simple fact that I don’t have money. I have to pay my mortgage and buy food for a house full of boys; my birthday money this year went to pay my electric bill. It’s not glamorous, but it’s my life.

I would love to be able to buy gifts for Sir. I always enjoy making people smile with a thoughtful present to lift their day. If you know those people who remember something you said that you really wanted and give it to you months later; that’s me. Christmas tends to be a stressful time for me; not because I lack ideas, but that I lack the funds to really get everyone what I would love to give them.

I’m not sure that really falls under the umbrella as financial dominance though. And I think that just me calling it financial dominance rather than financial submission just highlights my ignorance of it. Like I’m trying to distance myself from it in every possible way. I wouldn’t mind learning about it as part of general kink research, but I think at the same time I’m afraid of it.

Over the last year I’ve started to become more and more fearful of new kinks. Not out of judgment or disgust, but out of the reality that I may never get to experience them. I am afraid that if I delve into something new that I’ll love it and want to try it. My long-distance Dom is balancing two submissives, so adding all sorts of new kinks isn’t really an option. And my husband has completely walked away from kink. I see finances as complicated in a basic, every day context. Trying to engage him with D/s in something that can already be overwhelming doesn’t seem like a smart idea.

The fact that I have had a tight budget throughout my life makes financial submission a hard thing for me to grasp. While the idea of gift giving is a real joy, I’m pretty sure the kink goes much deeper than that. And aside from my amazon wish list I think I would just be out of my depth.

Check out my other 30 Days of Kink and consider answering them yourself.