Chasing Me Chasing You

An uncollared submissive struggling through depression, motherhood, and the constant craving of her next orgasm.

Evolved Relationships

I started about ten different posts on Trust for this week’s Wicked Wednesday post. All with the same general statements about BDSM and trusting your partner. I wasn’t really happy with any of them. It’s the same stuff everyone writes about. I trust him to beat me and take care of me. He trusts me to let him. I’m not trying to make fun of that stuff, it is important.

But trust is more than that. It’s pushing, pulling, forcing. It’s draining everything I have because he wants it. It’s taking and taking and taking and knowing that I will always give more.

How do you put a name to that kind of trust? It’s more than a marriage, more than a relationship. It’s a connection. It sounds cheesy, I know. But you can have these connections with many people; you don’t have to be married or even committed (in traditional sense). Dominant/Submissive relationships are special.

See, we’re not a depraved section of society. We maintain relationships that, when done correctly, require complete trust and honesty. I would love to see the statistics of D/s relationships that end due to infidelity. I get that people fall out and grow apart. But if a Dominant and Submissive are being honest and trust each other with the truth, then maybe it’s not as messy as traditional relationships. Is that crazy?

I’ll just pretend that since we’ve entered the world of kink that Sir and I are more evolved somehow. That this step into BDSM is a higher connection for the two of us requiring more than the standard amount of trust. Or, maybe I just want to feel better about being called a sexual deviant in modern society. I’m cool with running with the evolved theory.

Wicked Wednesday

TMI – Flowers, Kisses, & Money

tmi_Flowers, Kisses, and Money1. When did you last give or get flowers? What was the occasion?

My mother-in-law gave me flowers when my first son was born, three and a half years ago. I don’t really do flowers. If you fuck up, buy me a burger. Say congratulations with cheesecake. I’ll love you forever.

2. When was the last time you had a long passionate kiss? Who did you kiss?
Sir, last night. He’s a big kisser, a make-out fanatic actually.

3. You’ve just been given $100 for no reason at all. It is yours to do as you wish. Will you save it or spend it? If spend, what will you buy?

Save it. I have a list of tattoos that I am saving up for. Sir is continuing the decorate my back and has a few designs for my thighs. But he has given me permission to tattoo my feet and ankles as I wish.

4. What is your most irritating habit?

I’m sure Sir will have a list. I think it’s probably that I chew on things. I have to think about why I am mad or upset before I can talk to him about it. He gets mad that I cannot clarify things and it seems to him like I am hiding something from him.

5. If you had a day off alone, and could do whatever you wanted, what would you do?

Curl up with a mocha and good book. Maybe sew or do some crafty thing while watching a movie. Not cook or clean; eat junk food.

Bonus: Have you ever had sex at work? Where–closet, stairway, office, boardroom, etc.? Do you regret the encounter?

No. I used to work at a prison; sex at work was a bad idea. Right now Sir and I are fantasizing about how it will be when we are both working from home. He is planning all sorts of dirty things.

TMI Tuesday blog

Drip, Drip, Drip

The blood mixed with her tears and saliva in a pool on the tile floor. Her eyes were glazing, but he knew she wasn’t yet in subspace. She would be worrying about the mess more than the pain. She was such a silly little sub. A sexy, sweaty bleeding creature. He brought his belt back for another swing. Her cry made it cock twitch.

He was the one who had shied away from cutting her. His inexperience didn’t bother her. And he was impressed how much he could make the three shallow cuts on her lower back bleed. A strike on her ass opened the slices just enough.
If he was honest he was the one losing stamina. And his erection was starting to hurt as the blood turned him on more than he thought it would. But, he also wanted her to find release. She had endured a lot for him. That quick orgasm before the knife came out seemed long ago now.
He struck her again. He watched her body struggle against the straps. Her legs were shaking; even though the bench held most of her weight. He dropped the belt were she would be able to see it. He grabbed her left hip and ran his right hand between her folds. Her ass was high enough in the air that the blood ran up her back to drip off her shoulders rather than down. So he knew her wetness was due solely to her arousal.
He couldn’t wait any longer. He picked up her legs at the thigh as he entered her. She bent her knees to keep her legs up. Her sweat made her slide forward and back on the leather bench as he slammed into her with growing speed.
“You have my permission to cum, but you better work fast.” He had hardly finished the statement before she began grinding against him. Her moans and cries only pushed his release. He was a little surprised when he heard her telltale orgasmic cry. She had been closer than even he realized. But her pulses triggered his climax. he gripped her thighs tighter through his final thrusts. Finger bruises there would be a beautiful visual reminder for her since the cut marks would be out of view. He set her legs down and pulled out of her.
“I want to get some photos of how gloriously I have ruined you; can you take a few more minutes for your Sir?”
“Yes, Sir. Thank you, Sir”
After an extensive photoshoot, he unclipped the straps across her chest and helped her up. Rather than risk her falling or slipping on the wet tile. He gently lifted and carried her straight into the shower. After washing her body and cleaning the cuts with soap, he toweled her off and tucked her into bed. Her cuts were already closing, so he just lotioned her back, butt, and beautifully red thighs and climbed in next to her.
“Sir, may I please go clean up? If everything sits all night it will take twice as long tomorrow as everything will have dried.”
“No, you may not. Currently, your warm, supple body pleases me. I will give you the time you require to clean tomorrow. And the extra elbow grease will help remind you of how well I marked you.”
“Yes, Sir.”
“You are so beautiful. Beaten and sore. You always please me. My insatiable pain slut. I have the sudden urge to taste you. Or should I let you sleep?”
“Anything you want, Sir.” Her words implied compliance, but her desires were evident by her hips leaning against my leg. Her pussy was wet, but not dripping. As he kissed his way down her stomach he said, “Don’t worry my little slut, I’ll let you clean the floor so I can cover it in your blood again tomorrow night.” She moaned and he could see her cunt clench and moisten.
“Now that’s more like it.”
*                  *                    *
Disclaimer: This is a piece of fiction. Hopefully erotic, but fiction none the less. I do not currently participate in blood play and I had difficulty researching foundational basics. This is just what the phrase brings to mind for me. Please do not take this as any sort of guide and research/be safe when playing yourself.

Why I follow

Leadership is about trust. If you want to be followed as a leader, then you need to establish a foundation of trust. Once you have it, you can inspire those around you to achieve great things and push themselves in new ways.

Leadership is about motivation. A strong leader can bring the best out of those around them. Whether that is a staff finishing a project or a submissive taking five more lashes. Knowing what a person needs to hear to tough it out for a few more hours is a impressive skill. It takes a lot to motivate those that are tired or under extreme stress. But knowing a few words of encouragement can make all the difference.

Leadership is about confidence. Just because you have confidence, or a strong ego, doesn’t mean you’ll be a good leader. But leadership does require a certain amount of self-assurance. In order for those you are leading to feel comfortable following you, you have to know what you are doing and be able to express that knowledge.

Leadership is about a strategy. You don’t have to know all the answers. But you have to have a game plan. And when the unexpected happens, a leader is the one everyone looks to for direction. If you are directionless when you start, then you have no hope when things inevitably go wonky.

Dominance is Leadership. In so many ways, to be a good dominant is to be a good leader. A Dom can inspire their submissives to give more, take more and be more than they ever thought. The trust that they command allows those under them to fully submit and feel safe in their care. If you can show me your leadership then you have earned my respect. And I cannot imagine submitting to anyone that don’t respect.

~Not all that sexy, I know. But a quality like leadership is really important to me. Sir leads me down the rabbit hole everyday and I let him because of all of the above qualities. I will always take one more because he wishes it and I know he will lead me through to the other side.

Wicked Wednesday

TMI – Bringing Up the Past

1. What is the nickname a lover had for you that made you cringe?
Sexy. As in ‘hey, sexy’. Which is hilarious, considering we weren’t having sex when this became my little pet name. And, truly cringe worthy, he felt completely comfortable calling me this in front of my parents. He was a winner.
2. Where do you most often toss or keep your excess change (coins)?
We have a glass vase in our dining room where we throw coins. They don’t last long there as my son takes the coins and moves them to his own bank. It’s like our own money laundering service. Except we don’t get the money back.
3. If someone wrote a book about your past lovers and past sex life, which category fits best:
a. Abnormal psychology book
b. Steamy romance novel
c. Sad sad story
Sadly, if I’m honest, it’s A. A drug addict, the friend that I shouldn’t have gone there with who then revealed his anger management problem. The guy with commitment issues. And, of course, the one night stand. But it’s ok, I ended up with Sir. The sadist whose parents were both ministers. Yeah, definitely A.
4. Some say sex is like driving. Pretend you are a car. Are you: rear, front or all-wheel drive?
In my vanilla life I was front wheel. But now…now I’m all-wheel everything.
5. What is it that you do daily that you would like to stop doing?
Does changing my son’s diapers count? I cannot really stop doing that. I guess more realistically I would like to stop laying in bed in the morning. I need to get up and moving in the morning, but it’s just so easy to stay snuggled up (usually with Sir, a dog, and one or more boys).
6. What is the biggest lie you ever told to get someone into bed or the biggest lie you ever told in bed?
“No, I don’t have the flu.”
Bonus: If married, who was interested in marriage first, you or your spouse?
I would have said me, but every time I talk about how I pushed it, he gets all huffy. So, we’ll say him. Although, to be fair, we were engaged after only a few months, so I’m sure we were sprinting down the road together.
TMI Tuesday blog

TMI – Wednesday

1. I am in need of an intervention for my obsession with ______.

Right now it’s The Fall on Netflix. I watched Series one when they introduced it this fall. The second series aired in the UK over the last few months and it’s recently been added to the Netflix streaming. It has Gillian Anderson (X-Files) as an investigator and Jamie Dornan (50 Shades) as a serial killer. It’s creepy and I can only watch one episode at a time. It’s beyond freaky. An amazing thriller show.
2. You are being auctioned off. What is your unique selling point?

I have an excellent memory. I remember birthdays, addresses, likes/dislikes. Good if you want me to remember orders, bad if you speak freely about your social security number.
3. On a scale of 1-5 how many stars did your mom or dad give your current significant other or your favorite, longest lasting love? (1 is bad, 5 is great)

Probably only about a 2 if I’m honest. Sir enjoyed college, nothing wrong with that, but it doesn’t always portray the best image to in-laws. He is a gamer and a lover of technology. My parents have only recently learned to appreciate his skills. He’s now got a good job and he can program their IPhones, so he’s a 5 now.
4. Most of the meals I eat are:
a. Cooked in a microwave
b. Cooked in the oven/stove
c. Made by someone else

B. On the stove. By me.
5. When work and life stress me out, nothing relieves the tension like _____ .

I guess an orgasm is a little too obvious, huh? I’ll go with a good cup of coffee and a good book. Getting lost in a book on the couch for a few hours can melt an immense about stress.
Bonus: Write and answer your own bonus question.

Bonus Question: When you crave junk food, what do you crave?

A Hardee’s Frisco burger and curly fries. I’m a burger junkie. Sorry for those of you not in the US that don’t appreciate the true decadence that is a greasy Hardee’s burger. I’ll take care to enjoy one, regularly, for those of you who cannot.

TMI Tuesday blog

Where Did All the Wooden Spoons Go?

Sir and I have only been doing TTWD seriously for a few months. So, our collection of toys is relatively limited (I’ve seen some pictures of some spectacular amounts of equipment). At this point we are trying to add pieces bit by bit. Budgets allow for a new piece every so often, but Sir has found that household items have found new uses as well. It’s surprising how many things have disappeared from my kitchen only to be found in our toy drawer. It’s uncanny.

For example,

Plastic spatula in the shape of a paint stirrer.

No, it’s not a used paint stirrer. This is a spatula, at least that’s its advertised used. It’s hard plastic with a silicone coating. It was bought by my father, of all people, at some expensive kitchen store when we were on vacation last year. He has one too. The last time we visited I could not help but laugh when he pulled it from a drawer and used it to mix pancake batter. All I could think about was how ours made this pretty set of pink lines across my ass. Sir smirked too.

But, despite its pretty green color, it hurts like you wouldn’t believe. The surface area isn’t big enough to distribute the pain effectively. So this just stings like a mother. And, please remember, that while I love to cry for Sir, I am not a masochist. I am not a lover of pain in any way. So me and this thing are not friends.

But paddles in general are a growing part of our BDSM. We use them in most scenes with various other impact toys. Still trying to figure out what works best for us and what gets Sir his pretty marks. But, I am sure that our paddle collection will grow. And my kitchen gadgets will continue to disappear.

Kink of the Week

TMI – Old Man Winter


1. Where you live what is the current season?
Witch’s titty cold. It’s like winter’s pissed off ex-wife.
2. Do you measure/report the weather temperature in Celsius or Fahrenheit?
Fahrenheit technically, but mostly I use a measurement that I made up based on how fast the dog pees when she gets off the back porch.
3. Describe your ideal day of weather?
Approximately 65 degrees fahrenheit. Good light sweater weather, but able to get away with sandals to show off pretty painted toenails.
4. When it is cold outside I want to:
a. Run outside naked because it is exhilarating.
b. Bundle up in warm clothes and take a winter walk.
c. Turn the heat up, stay indoors, hibernate until warm weather returns.
d. I do not pay attention to the weather.

Well, once I did A. It was in college and I ran outside after drinking several margaritas and made naked snow angels. It was fun once, but normally, I’m a C type of person. Coffee and good book will always top my list.

5. Do you go “commando” in cold weather or in winter?
If Sir tells me to I would. Honestly, this year I haven’t really been leaving the house often enough to make it a habit.
6. For 10,000 USD Would you rather ride a bike for one mile (1.6 km) in 7 degrees  F/ 14 degrees C weather  or jump naked into a freezing cold Alaskan lake in winter?
I totally was the nerd who took part in the polar bear swims at summer camp. I’ll take the Alaskan lake. Hey, it gets me to Alaska, right?
7. What is your favorite piece of winter clothing?
The infinity scarf that I made this year. Yeah crafty me!
8. Have you ever worn Long Johns aka long underwear or thermal underwear?
When I was in Scotland a group of us climbed part of Ben Nevis in late February. I think I actually had two pair of long underwear that day. And it was still cold.
Bonus: Do you have more or less sex in the winter months vs. other times of year?
Can this be a wish rather than a question? I will say less, if for no other reason that it’s cold. We don’t keep our house all that warm (I mean, the pipes don’t freeze, but it’s not really walk around naked temps either) so play is usually short and sweet. We do play often, but longer, drawn out play happens in the balmier times of the year.
Please see others’ responses and leave your own at TMI Tuesday Blog. Wishing everyone a warmer upcoming week. And lots of good coffee, because bad coffee is just a torture that no one should have to face.