Chasing Me Chasing You

An uncollared submissive struggling through depression, motherhood, and the constant craving of her next orgasm.

The Most Comfortable

Because for me, sexy means that I can lay next to you and talk for hours. Perfectly comfortable being naked and next to you. We can talk about anything. And we are both so natural in our conversation and confidence. Comfortable in the knowledge that when we do get back to fucking, it will be even more amazing because of the intellectual discussion that we have just shared.

Rye and Jack's legs comfortable on the bed.

Check out how everyone else is spending their sexy Sunday by clicking the lips below.

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Why 69 is a bad math equation for me

The idea of 69ing is hot and magical. A way to take oral sex to the next level of giving pleasure while working toward your own climax. There is almost something more intimate to me than standard intercourse. Something about having your mouth on someone’s genitals that takes things to a different level. That’s always the approach that I start with anyway.

Somehow the experience gets lost in translation for me. It always sounds hot. Naked bodies intertwined with tongues. Fluids and moans in a race for orgasmic bliss. See, doesn’t that sound amazing? It never works out this way for me though. I think that may be because it’s hard for me to focus on the multiple sensations. I am so engrossed in making my partner cum, that it’s nearly impossible for me for relax enough to orgasm myself. So I intently throw everything at getting an orgasm out of them. It’s not like I don’t enjoy myself. It certainly feels good. And it’s an activity that I rarely turn down. I mean, it lets me suck on a cock and get my clit licked, what’s wrong with that?

Maybe I just need to change my approach. Do more people use 69ing for foreplay? If an orgasm isn’t the goal then maybe the focus could be more evenly spread. I just need to back up and enjoy the experience. That could be a parent thing too. Generally we feel rushed to orgasm as quickly as possible as the knock of the door can happen at any time. Though that seems like a cop-out for a feeling I’ve had regarding this activity since college.

Perhaps more practice would offer a solution to this problem. Maybe a 696 or 969 would help me figure out the exact issue. Several rounds of experiments will need to be undertaken. Anyone interested in helping me with this math?

See how everyone else feels about the art of 69ing and meeting of the bodies and minds this week.

Wicked Wednesday for post Stockpiled Cravings

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Elust #91

Elust 91

Silverdrops toy box header
Photo courtesy of Silverdrops Toybox

Welcome to Elust 91

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #92 Start with the rules, come back March 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

 

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Forcing Growth

In Stitches

The Instrument and the Ornament

 

 

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Imagine? You Might Wish You Hadn’t!
she’s picture perfect

 

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

Morning Stretch

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

 

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

Amber alert
Spanking: Chapter One
‘How To’ Femdom Series
Play it safe
Formative Kink: “The Happy Hooker”

Erotic Non-Fiction

Follow Your Heart
Humiliating Raylene: Kissing Lynette
THREESOME – prepared
Leaving Questions Unanswered

Sex News, Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Genital shame in the news
Cock and Balls Sling Demonstration

Poetry

Chastity, No Boner: A Lusty Limerick
Roleplay (inna damp, dark alley)

Erotic Fiction

Portraits of You
Addicted
Words of Fuck

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Nothing good can come from this
UNCLEAN: Dirty, Sweaty, Filthy, Messy Sex

Events

GRUE

 

 

Elust 88

The Threesome Third Wheel

Rye as a third with Jack and Jill.

As Molly was nice enough to use one of my Sinful Sunday photos for this topic, I feel terrible that I am waiting until the last day to get my piece posted. But I was excited that I could use it to discuss a fun, romantic experience that I hope to have again for Wicked Wednesday. Maybe next Valentine’s day. 🙂

I think threesomes are wonderful things. I’ve only had one threesome experience so far, though two nights in a row. Jack and Jill are a wonderful couple and I couldn’t have fantasized a better first encounter. At the time though, I was a nervous mess. Here was a couple that a) had had several previous threesomes, b) had an amazing physical connection on their own, and c) already knew all the right moves and tricks to please the other. So I was this third wheel coming in trying to play catch up and learn as quickly as possible.

Admittedly, there is something exciting about that third wheel experience. It’s new and I think adds to the pleasure of the evening. That doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t love to try a threesome with my husband or Jack and a third unknown person. I imagine there is a comfort in knowing and completely trusting one person going into that adventure. Personally, I think it would make me more confident in my actions. Knowing that I had the support and could be certain of pleasuring at least one of us would make me more likely to take charge. I would act on that urge to tell him to fuck me while I sucked on her clit, rather than just wishing one of them would mention it.

I think that is the general third wheel fear, at least for me. This couple knows each other’s buttons and tells to ensure the pleasure of the other. The third is just spit-balling. If one could relax and go with the flow, I’m sure that would help. I’m just sort of an anxious person when it comes to sex, so I was lucky to have an amazing couple who was patient with me.

In all my readings, both fiction and non-fiction, that is what a threesome is for someone though. A third wheel type experience. More often than not there are two people who know each other intimately inviting a third into their fun. I’m not sure I’ve ever read a story where three strangers meet at a bar or social gathering and end up in a hotel room together. Though, now that I say that, I may have to write it, just so I can say it’s out there.

Kink of the Week logo

Wicked Wednesday for post Stockpiled Cravings

Selfish Thoughts

How do we balance what we do for ourselves as opposed to what is best for our partner/family/future?

Vanilla example:

I was approached this week by local law firm and offered a job. The increase in pay is amazing. I would have my own office (a career goal of mine) and a job title more in line with degree. I would be creating and managing records, and being allowed to make decisions. It could be a fantastic opportunity for me to not just be another nameless face in a company. But, the benefits aren’t as good as what we have now. I would be leaving possibly a more stable pension as well as dental and vision. The health care coverage wouldn’t cover as much of our mental health meds and the co-pays are higher.
So do I leave my current job, which isn’t a bad job, for something with higher pay and more opportunity for me? Or do I say as the benefits would be better for my family?
I’ll admit, as a submissive, I struggle with this. And it’s times like this that I see it come out in my non-kink life. I want my family to be happy. If I switch jobs, I may be happier, but if it’s at their expense, then I don’t want it. I thought if I took the job that I would take some of the money I received from Christmas and go buy a few new outfits. As soon as I thought it I immediately felt guilty for even thinking about spending money on myself.

Kink example:

Is being a submissive, in general, selfish? Now that I know that my husband doesn’t consider himself dominant it just seems selfish to pursue it. Especially since he’s be supportive of my relationship with Jack. My submission does make me happy, and I guess a happier me does affect my relationship with my husband and my kids. But is that enough? Should I just be happy with what I have?
I’m sure this can’t just be an issue for submissives, women, or mothers. I guess it just always seems to me that other people have a handle on it so much better than I do. Co-workers get their nails done or go shopping as a treat for themselves and not feel guilty. My mother bought herself a new car with her last promotion.
My submission is colliding with the vanilla part of my life this week. My husband is pushing me to very non-submissive actions. And the decision to switch jobs is becoming more complicated. I think I am playing over these thoughts a lot more than twice.
I need a drink.
Read about everyone else’s (probably sexier) posts about second thoughts today by clicking below.
Wicked Wednesday for post Stockpiled Cravings

Poly Problem #53: Sharing Porn

Because Jack and I live quite a distance apart, we generally chat on twitter or via text. We talk mostly about our families and how much we want to be fucking each other at that moment. Jokes and kid’s quotes get shared for the other to read when the other wakes up. The time change, while annoying, is manageable as we both put in the effort. As with any long-distance relationship, it takes work.

We also share a lot of photos. Most are selfies, taken during our conversations to depict a certain mood or response. I’ll admit to sending quite a few boob pics and if I think my hair looks particularly good that day I’ll see if he agrees. Basically our relationship is a bit of a teenage romance for me. Except with a lot more dirty talk and mutual masturbation. So, nothing teenage about it. And I’m sure it depends on how you define romance. I’m a beer and burgers with a B movie kind of girl rather than a wine and escargot with opera.*

There are also a number of nudes and dick pics. I don’t want to say how many, we’ll go with a lot. Some videos too. Many saved on my phone for occasions when I need a little help (not help doing dishes, if that’s not obvious). I still maintain, hearing him moan my name as he cums is the hottest thing. Which is my not so subtle segway into today’s Poly Problem – Sharing porn.

Jack and I were chatting the other day, as we often do. Conversation turned to sexy things that he’d like to do to me (one of my favorite topics). A steamy photo or two were exchanged and I asked him if I could have another video. I have a thing about watching him jerk off. He will send me a video from time to time, often with a good moan of my name included. I have a great one from when he was here in December on loop right now. Getting a new one is always a gooey present. This time he had an interesting response:

“Sure I can send you one. It doesn’t have any names in it as I sent it to Jill earlier. Does that bother you?”

I said it didn’t bother me and he sent the video over. I enjoyed it and didn’t give it another thought until later that night. Getting ready for bed I pulled the video back up. I thought about the fact that he had made it for Jill. That he had sent it to her first. I felt like I should be upset, but I couldn’t pin point why. I mean, I would love to have Jack all to myself for an extended period. But at the same time, I respect that we have separate lives.

I would be lying if I said that knowing that Jack sent the same photos to me that he sent to every other woman he talks to doesn’t bother me. There are times when I want something to be just for me. To have a piece of him that I don’t have to share. I’m hoping that’s normal. But does it bother me if I get a video/photo/etc. that someone else has seen? It certainly didn’t make it any less hot. And it’s not like I haven’t sent him a photo that I had previously posted on twitter or on here.

Is there an expectation with all things intimate that they be exclusive to the recipient? This falls back to one of my previous posts about thinking about someone else when you are having sex. Does that apply to masturbation as well? If you shoot a video or photo of an erection that you got while thinking about someone other than who you send it to, is it less sexy?  I don’t think so, but I guess I could see how some people would think so. The rabbit hole on this can get deep very quickly.

I think maybe this is something to be sorted out with your partners on a case by case basis. Depending on how many people you play/flirt with, it may not be an issue. But to ensure that everyone feels special and appreciated when they are with you, it would be something to be up front about. I’m pretty relaxed about it, but I’m not sure I’d be thrilled to get a video with Jack moaning someone else’s name. Though, honestly, I would probably just mute it and grab my Doxy. Hey, when you find something that works for you, you don’t ask why.

Masturbation Monday logo

*Though as a completely random note, I love The Pirates of Penzance. I can be classy…sometimes.

The Whipping Post

I just love the smell and the sounds of a good fire. I’m far enough away that I don’t have to shield my naked body, but close enough to feel the warmth radiating from it. The low flickering flames throw a cascade of shadows across the grass and mix in with the muted lighting set up to highlight the whipping frame.

Whilst I was passed out from my orgasm ordeal, Josh, Stephen, and Sir had assembled the frame that Stephen had bought with him. It resembled an old style jail ‘A’ shaped whipping frame. The wood was solid, smooth and polished. The frame had various locations for the attachment of ropes and chains. My legs were already tied to the frame and Sir was busy with securing my arms to the top. I couldn’t see what Stephen was doing but I suspect he was readying the whip, whatever that entails.

I was feeling a lot more relaxed since waking from my nap. Bianca was kind enough to give me an all over massage to work the stiffness from my body. She may have also strayed a bit, but who am I to complain. I’m actually hopeful that Josh will allow Sir  to play with Bianca and me tomorrow after everyone else has left. We are staying on another night as our flight couldn’t be arranged until Monday morning. It’s been a while since Sir and I have gotten to play with someone else together, and Bianca seems like a sub we could both enjoy.

After dinner all of the men organized their seating where they could get a good view of the whipping frame and a ringside view of the show I was about to be part of. Stephen, being the ultimate showman, decided he would conduct a small pre-show demonstration using an assortment of whips and floggers. With all of us subs sitting at the feet of our respective Doms, Stephen demonstrated various techniques using an assortment of whips, floggers and few canes. You could see why he had brought Jessica along. She took everything Stephen gave her. Only on two occasions did you hear any sound. I’d heard that she was an extreme masochist, something that I had no trouble believing after witnessing the display.

I hope Stephen was not expecting me to be silent. I don’t think I have any chance of not crying out.

The rope around my wrist was pulled tight, bringing me back to the present. Preparations were nearly complete for the demonstration with the bullwhip. I am surprised as a hood is pulled down over my head. I had hoped to be more present to experience the ordeal. Oh well, I assume that they are expecting my cries to be quite loud and they want to mute them. Just as the hood covers my face I hear Stephen say to Sir that the hood was a safety provision. Whilst he is confident he won’t miss he said that he would hate to pull out some of my gorgeous hair, let alone any consideration as to how much that would hurt.

The hood is them rotated on my head with the opening zipper in front of my face, leaving me free to express myself in full voice. Stephen leaves my field of view, I assume getting into position. Sir leans in and reminds me that this was a punishment and that he expects me to try and take what Stephen throws at me. He also reminds me that I can use my safe word with him and he will stop the demonstration. I am grateful that he alone would hear me say it if I couldn’t endure any more, so that  I don’t feel like a failure and try and  push myself too far.

It was like I was super charged. I felt even the  slightest sensations as I waited for the first blow. My nerves were just hanging on. Whilst I’ve had some wonderfully challenging beatings in the past, I’ve never experienced a bullwhip, and never been whipped by an expert. Oh dear, what have I gotten my self into.

“Shit”, I hear coming from my lips, followed by laughter from the assembled crowd. The crack of the whip was so loud it startled me. My body struggled against the frame with futility. The whip wasn’t even being aimed at me, but merely Stephen getting in a warm up swing. Okay, so this is happening.

Snap.

A soft one to start me off. At least, I hope it’s a soft one. Snap. And another. Hmmm, I think, this isn’t so bad. It’s almost a caress. I could get to like this. Like an static shock across my back.

“Ahh!”

The sound is out of my mouth before I register the crack of the whip or the burning sensation across my right ass cheek. The next stroke leaves a corresponding stinging to my left ass cheek. The next four strokes alternate between my ass cheeks. It feels like a deliberate placement in the shape of a cross. I hope they stay around for a bit, they will look really good.

Right, I better start focusing on what’s going on. I don’t for a minute believe that this is the level of intensity Stephen is going to be happy with. In my floaty space I can hear him talking to everyone but I can’t make out what he is saying.

Fuck”, escapes my lips before I can help myself. That hurt. From my right shoulder blade across my back in a diagonal line of pain. Before I can recover if feel the next blow, in a crossing pattern once more but this time lower on my back. My breathing has become a bit labored and I’m have a little difficulty balancing my weight. I hear Sir check in with me and I just give him a small nod of the head. He retreats a short distance so that he doesn’t inadvertently become part of the demonstration.

The next four strokes are even more intense and I can fell my resolve slipping away. This is as hard as I thought it would be. I can’t tell where the whip is falling now as my whole back is alive with pain. I hear the next crack of the whip, followed by a small gasp from the crowd. I soon realize why, as I feel a wetness on my shoulder blade. He’s drawn blood. Sir leans in again and I again try and reassure him that I’m okay and want to continue. He looks a little worried but steps back.

Another blow lands on my back and I can feel another small trickle of blood. I think I’m done, but before I can safeword to Sir I see him step around the frame and announce to everyone that the demonstration is over and that they should show some appreciation to Stephen and to me. As the applause dies down, Sir unties me, wraps me in my blanket and picks me up. Just before he carries me away Stephen comes over to check how I am. I manage half a smile and reassure him I enjoyed the experience.

Sir had anticipated how I would be feeling after the whipping and had brought a soft pillow down from the house. He sat me down in front of his chair. The bleeding marks on my back weren’t too deep, as he cleaned and bandaged them quickly. Then he lay me down on the pillow. He gave me a KitKat (my favorite candy bar) and with a “Good girl” covered me with my blanket. As I came back from subspace I stared at the fire and he rubbed my back. The chocolate tasted almost as good as knowing that I had pleased him.

**This is another installment in the Twitter Boyfriend’s and my Tale of Rye. Check out the previous chapters, Prey on Me and Cum-uppance. This is also my contribution to the Kink of the Week topic of ‘Safewords’. I believe they are important, but as they story illustrates, a Dominant can sometimes know your limits too.

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Twelve

Twelve are all the things racing in my mind right now. Each fighting their to the forefront of my thoughts. Their jostling making it impossible to reach a conclusion or solution. The one night of orgasms (two!) I’ve had in the last two weeks didn’t even help me sleep. Having a grandmother who was addicted to pain medications and sleeping pills has made me very wary of taking anything for those ailments. But that hasn’t even stopped me this week as I need all the help I can get.

Twelve are the number of times I keep running our budget around in my head. Forgetting the electric payment one time and my student loan payment the next. Each time trying to make the numbers add up to something we can actually achieve. Each time coming up short. It’s a stress whirlpool that keeps sucking me in. Whenever I think I’ve cracked it I remember some bill and my depression spikes all over again.

Twelve is the number of times in the last hour I have changed my mind about asking my husband to remove my collar. Every time I think it would help me to get past the failure of our D/s relationship I touch it and can’t imagine it being gone. My two year-old grabs it when I pick him up. It’s been on my neck since before he was born. Not wearing it would feel like I am giving up on my submission. But while I am submissive I am not currently a submissive. Each time I think I have reached a clear opinion about it my heart pulls me the other way.

I’ve been thinking of twelve different sexual activities that I’ve been craving lately. Masturbation isn’t really hitting the spot lately. The time difference with Jack has been catching me up and we haven’t had a mutual session in awhile. And honestly, sex with myself while he’s 1,500 miles away is not one of my twelve cravings.

Twelve is the number of things that I need to be doing that I just can’t get the motivation for. I need to update my business website. I need to get our 2016 taxes around. Each time I sit down to do any of them I find a distraction, either purposefully or accidentally. Even things that should be fun or positive are avoided. Hell, I’ve started having anxiety attacks at the grocery store.

I’ve never felt more disparate than I have felt lately. I would say I feel like I’m split into twelve different pieces to stick with the theme, but it’s probably more than that. And I’m sure they will start fitting back together soon. Somehow.

In any case I’m trying not to make any big decisions right now. The collar is still on. Though I’m really not sure it’s his or my best interest to leave it that way. I can still be kinky and submissive without it. And it represents a relationship, a contract, that we don’t have anymore. Each time I reach for it and want to feel like a good girl it hurts more than reassures. And trust me, I have shed more than twelve tears for that.

Wicked Wednesday for post Stockpiled Cravings

Elust #90

Elust 90


Photo courtesy of Rebel’s Notes

Welcome to Elust 90

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #91?  Start with the rules, come back February 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

 

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Conflicted part 1

Glow

Happy Endings

 

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Please You to Please Me

How to suck my cock – part 1 (attitude)

 

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

Visions of Sugarplums

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

 

Writing About Writing

The Curious Case of Trigger Warnings
Writing About It All

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

PLEASING THE MISTRESS
Reader Q&A: Dominant women struggle, turn-ons
Chastity Questions
Not every hole is a goal

Erotic Non-Fiction

A Picture is Worth…
Morning Stretch
Lovemaking Almost Too Brilliant To Describe
The GP
I Want
Indescribable Pleasure
Humiliating an ex-Nazi: Raylene’s 2nd dozen
Preparation
I love big, fat dicks

Erotic Fiction

Dude, You’re Wet!
When Love Becomes a Weakness
On a Silver Platter
The Silent Treatment
A Seasonal Affair
Three in a Stall
Schoolgirl Uniform
The New Principal 4: Escape

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Anal Retentive Or Just OCD?

Sex News, Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

BuzzFeed Femdom

Poetry

-06.01.17_13:22-
Mistletoe: A Lusty Limerick

 

Elust 88