Chasing Me Chasing You

An uncollared submissive struggling through depression, motherhood, and the constant craving of her next orgasm.

ELust #100

Elust 100

Photo courtesy of Wriggly Kitty

Welcome to Elust 100

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #101 Start with the rules, come back December 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

 

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

He’s Out of My League

Pink Hair, Don’t Care!

I’m a feminist but…

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Pain Sluts and Brain Squirrels

His Car Keys

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

Raw

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Writing About Writing

Why Financial Disclosures Matter on Your Blog

Erotic Fiction

Caught
An American Werewolf in London
The Spider and the Fly
Faithfully
kitten

Body Talk and Sexual Health

Static
Over exposed?

Erotic Non-Fiction

Mirror Image
Return to Position, Part 1
One Present Moment
Edgy Morning
The Date-Aversary Continues
The Smell, Taste and Love of Chocolate.

Poetry

-01.11.17_18:26-

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

Asking can be sexy too!
Soaring in Space
Age Play
MY PEOPLE, HER PEOPLE. The FemDom ball
Stroke of luck

Sex News, Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Adult Content on Patreon
Censorship on Share our Shit Saturday
#SSoS Sharing for the Win

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

#iTalkSex Why I Talk Sex
Radical Acceptance In Relationships
So… ghosting is an acceptable thing now
What giving a collar means to me

Blogging

Reflections on us and the blog

 

 

Elust 88

Horrible Truth

Ok, the first truth isn’t that horrible. It’s just a truth. It’s about oral. I love giving oral sex. Sucking cock is one of my favorite things. Using my mouth to bring someone such pleasure is a true joy for me. One of the few things that gives me power that actually enjoy. I also loved the one time I was able to give oral sex to a woman. I can get into a zone where it’s calming. Just to sink into the other person’s pleasure. So erotic. I get turned on as I do it and when they cum I get the strongest sense of satisfaction.

Here’s that horrible part. It’s also about oral. I’m getting sick of it. I know, it’s hard for even me to accept. But I am. It’s just not fun.

I think it may because it’s all we do. We don’t have penetrative sex of any kind. Certainly no ‘All Anal November’ for me this year. We had sex the other day, in the middle of the afternoon. It was blissful. But it was no foreplay, no aftercare (though we aren’t D/s anymore), and I didn’t cum. He gave me oral for the first time in six months the other day. I’m not sure what caused the sudden change of heart toward my vagina, not that I’m complaining. But aside from these few breaks from the norm over the last few weeks, oral sex has been the limit of our intimacy.

As I previous stated, I love oral sex. But I’m getting to the point where I just need a break. I just groan when photo after photo comes up on my naughty tumblr. I can’t masturbate to it anymore. And whenever I see it in porn I tend to roll my eyes. Which just feels sad. I want to love it all the time. And it feels wrong that oral just doesn’t inspire me anymore.

Maybe I just want to be appreciated more. Maybe I just want a bit of a challenge. Maybe I just need to be fucked. Or more likely, a little from all three.

See other topics that people are musing over or who they consider their muse for this weeks Wicked Wednesday.

Wicked Wednesday for post Stockpiled Cravings

Pins and Needles

Why don’t you go put your Njoy in? 

Sounds like fun. I’ll be back in a bit.

I walked upstairs and closed the bedroom door. Too many wank sessions have been interrupted by whiny kids; I’ve learned from my mistakes. After grabbing the lube, njoy, and a towel I climbed up on the bed. Although I have done it several ways, I have found that putting the njoy in by myself is easier if I’m squatting on my knees. And doing it while I cum is just extra fun for me.

Sitting on my knees I began flipping through tumblr. I have several go to pages. Lately I’ve been a sucker for MFM threesomes. They just turn me into a dripping puddle in record time. But, for whatever reason, I could find anything that really sucked me in. I kept flipping through photos and videos, looking for the perfect scene. It’s hard when you know what you want. And I wanted to see a sexy spit-roast.

You know the shot. It’s often in black and white. She’s stretched across the bed, looking eagerly at one man’s cock. She’s massaging his thigh, begging him to lean in closer. At the same time the other gentleman is thrusting into her cunt. Holding her hips and pushing her mouth into the other man’s cock. I’m not sure what it is, but it’s just hot. And it was exactly what I wanted at that moment to help me cum.

The photo wasn’t coming around though. I flipped through my favorites and couldn’t find anything close. It wasn’t until I went down a rabbit hole of new people that I stumbled across what I needed. What I craved.

I lubed up the Njoy and grabbed my Doxy. I put my phone on the bed in front of me so I could zone in on the short video (set to repeat) while I put the plug in. I was turned on in seconds. The doxy worked it’s magic wonderfully as my body tried to relax.

The njoy was cold, but it quickly warmed by my thighs. Or maybe I just didn’t notice. Because, as I continued to press the njoy inside me, I was also pressing the doxy against my clit. My orgasm was seconds away and it was a now or never moment. I leaned into the doxy and up onto my knees. My body relaxed as I groaned and the njoy found it’s home. But all this happened so fast, I didn’t really feel any of it.

All I could feel was the painful tingling of my legs waking up from being asleep.

The entire time I had been searching for the perfect porn I had been sitting back on my knees, and they had gone numb. When I leaned forward in the height of my orgasm they shot back to life in an intense wave of pins and needles.

My orgasm was ruined and all I could do was roll onto my side and wait for the pain to subside. I was so embarrassed. I walked downstairs. My husband asked if I was alright. I told him I spent so long looking for porn that my legs went numb and they decided to wake up in the middle of my orgasm.

He laughed and told me to tweet it. So I did.

Masturbation Monday logo

Sir’s First Task: The Basement Part II

Sewing desk before cleaning
Basement Pre-Clean 3

Waking up on Saturday morning I was more motivated than I had been in a very long time. After reviewing the photos I sent, Sir had given me my marching orders. I needed to clear my sewing table so that I could realistically use my sewing machine. Hopefully that would encourage me to find more time to get down there and use my private space to refresh. Also, as the boys get older and search out their own private time, I could use it more regularly. I also needed to clear the catch all table so that I could use it for sewing prep and other creative projects.

So with coffee in hand and a background noise of The Great British Baking Show on my laptop I began to clean. I decided to focus on the black table first. It was where I had hoped to set up my laptop when I was down there, and have all my stationary materials. I am a big fan of handwritten notes and I have a large stash of postcards that I enjoy sending to family and friends. They are just a nice way of letting someone know you are thinking of them. And I love getting mail.

Cleaned stationary desk
Basement Clean – Stationary Desk

Sorting through all the paperwork took the most time. I have a pretty good organization system for our receipts and important papers, but when I don’t have time to file everything, it gets thrown in a pile to be sorted later. Later had finally come. Luckily, mixed in with all the important bills were lots of items that could be recycled. And once I got going, sorting out the important bits and the surplus paper went quickly. Trying to jam them into my file cabinet took a little time, but I got there.

Cleaned sewing table
Basement Clean – Sewing Table

Separating items into what I used for stationary and what I used for sewing helped me give the tables different uses. And my collection of little boxes were perfect for all my thread and sewing trims. I was pretty happy with the way both spaces turned out and I really hoped Sir was too.

I sent him photos as well as the ‘after’ photos I posted on twitter. I was so relieved when he wrote back that he was impressed. I even got a ‘good girl’. It was the biggest self-confidence boost I’ve had in a long time. I was practically gooey just hearing that he was proud of me. Sometimes I worry that I have daddy or general parenting issues because of how much I want someone to be proud of me. It’s the nicest compliment that I can ever receive.

All this meant that I went to the office yesterday feeling good, which hasn’t happened in awhile. It’s amazing how my productivity during the weekend and my interactions with Sir can affect my entire week.

Sir has given me the week. I am hoping to use my sewing space a few times and enjoy my hard work. Then we’ll see what he wants me to tackle next. There is a lot down there that doesn’t belong to me. And even more that needs sorted and sold. So I hoping that this project may force the issue on a few things. Or, if nothing else, get me to box things up and store them on the other side of the basement. Keeping my office mine.

So I am sure there will be more updates as this task continues. And I’m sure I will write more as my submission is allowed to grow. This is the most submissive (and likewise best) I have felt in a very long time. I hope Sir allows me to continue to serve in any way he sees fit.

cleaned sewing table and stationary table

 

Sir’s First Task: The Basement Part I

I have an IUD. I’ve had it since the end of 2014 and subsequently have not had a period since around the middle of 2015. Which sounds amazing, and does have certain perks, i.e. I’ve saved a lot of money on tampons. But even though I don’t have the cramping, I still have the emotional drop and mood swings. It makes my depression medication work extra hard to get me through the day and often fails miserably. And, considering the day to day issues I’ve been having with my boss at work, I was dreading this month’s drop.

A blue and white baby quilt.
A baby quilt I made in 2014.

I also love to sew. Since moving about a year and half ago I’ve had my sewing machine set up, but I’m not sure I’ve had it on more than a handful of times. My grand designs of having several quilts ready to go to give as gifts for Christmas last year fizzled quickly. And between all the job, kid, and husband stress over the last year my space has been largely ignored. But making things is a huge confidence boost for me. Don’t get me wrong, I love to write, but having something tactile in my hand is a different productive feeling. I’m sure if I ever had a book published it would feel the same. Something I made. Even better is when it’s appreciated and/or used by someone. I think that pulls back to my submission and caring for others.

All that plot exposition was all to prep you for my first task from my Sir. We were talking about my low mood and I mentioned sewing being a good outlet for that. He had asked about it and all I could really come up with was that my creative space in the basement had become a catch-all for various things.

The basement from the bottom of the stairs
Basement Pre-Clean 1

I dramatized it a bit about how bad it was, but I’m sure in my head it was that bad and that’s why I wasn’t motivated to clean it up. He told me to send him pictures when I got home from work on Friday; that maybe this would be a good project for me.

I was honestly surprised at how good I felt just thinking about a task. It had been so long since I’d even been presented with the possibility. Even through my emotional fog, I felt motivated to try and get back to something that made me happy. When I got home I immediately went to downstairs to take photos. I’ll admit I tried to get angles that would show the worst of the piles.

Basement mess from the couch
Basement Pre-Clean 2

It may not have been as bad as I originally described to him, but it wasn’t great. I had cleaned off the couch the week before when we had to take the kids down for a tornado warning. I think the angle from the couch is what was sticking in my head when we were talking. I think it’s just the piles that threw me off. And the amount of stuff that isn’t actually mine. Everything from records that were left in the house when we moved in to clothes belonging to my mother. My creative space had been overrun by things that needed sorted and/or sold. But, without this motivation it would probably continue sitting like this until closer to Christmas when I need to wrap presents. Though that would be more of wiping my arm across the table so I have a flat space to work. This was going to be a much larger task.

My Protector

Why are you naked?

Are you complaining?

No, of course not. I just thought you said you were heading upstairs to get dressed. He walked over to brush my bare stomach. Grabbing our son’s school folder, he walked back over the counter.

I think I need to change to a white bra and I know I have a clean one down on the drying rack. I walked into the laundry room and chose one of the lacy white bras that I washed earlier that day. What are you doing? 

I’m just finishing up the paperwork for parent-teacher conferences. Did you decide where you want to go for dinner?

No….I thought you said you were doing paperwork. School folder abandoned, he was now back at my side rubbing my nipple piercings.

Wanna play? Of course, he already knew the answer, but I put on the innocent smile anyway. I started to squirm a bit away from him and he reached around to slap my ass. I giggled through a ‘No’ and started laughing. He reached for me again, but we were both stopped in our tracks by the barking.

Our dog, a ten year-old boxer rescue, is a very sweet thing. She is a daddy’s girl and I’ve often said that she would turn on me and the kids in an instant for him. However, his recent action would prove  me wrong. Her barking increased until he stepped away from me. As soon as there was space she got in-between us and turned to him. She continued barking as she sat on my feet.

I couldn’t stop laughing. Apparently her face was priceless as she stood her ground to ‘protect’ me. Even when he tried to assure her that it was okay, she refused to move. I bent down to tell her that I was okay. Even rubbing her belly and scratching her ears she kept her butt on my foot and wouldn’t let him get close.

It was the sweetest thing. And she eventually did forgive him his perceived abusive transgression. I think she’s been a little bit more attentive to me though. I would’ve have thought that in all our previous BDSM fun that she would have witnessed him hitting me before. So I don’t know if it was just context, or because I said ‘No’.

In any case, it was really funny. After we both realized that we had not emotionally scarred our dog, of course. I was just so impressed at her immediate reaction and the way she came to my aid; even if it wasn’t necessary. I’ll just have to remember never to take her to any play parties or the poor thing would have a conniption.

Elust #97

Elust 97

Modesty Ablaze Elust 97
Photo courtesy of Modesty Ablaze

Welcome to Elust 97

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #97 Start with the rules, come back September 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

 

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

The Confessional

A MISTRESS UNSEEN

Wrapped around his finger

 

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Counting

The Storyteller’s Conundrum

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

Rainy Day Lover

 

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Erotic Fiction

The Sleeping Beauty
Longing
Broken to Be ~ Part 7 – Conclusion
A good man, with a belt

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

The Scene That Almost Never Happened
Sticky fingers

Erotic Non-Fiction

The Art Class Model
Bondage Alfresco Style ~ Collared & tied.
Welcome Home Lazy Vanilla Lovemaking
The Happiest Place On Earth?

Poetry

Burn Together

Writing About Writing

Smut Marathon 2.0

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Sometimes I feel this is all I’m good for

 

 

 

Elust 88

Elust #94

Elust 94

Exposing 40 Elust 94
Photo courtesy of Exposing 40

Welcome to Elust 94

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #95 Start with the rules, come back June 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

 

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Always Coming Second

Balance

THREESOME – the card game

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

The #500words Project ~ 2

#Pussy Pride

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

No Eligible Posts

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

 

Erotic Fiction

Forgiven
Finally A Prostitute
On Display
World Traveller
Red
Ms. Mona’s Online Dating School for Dudes

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

BDSM is Not My Source for Life.
Pure and Simple
Discussing Consent & Scene Negotiation

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

You can
All for one, or one for all…
He haunts me.

Erotic Non-Fiction

Oh no, I’m not.
the shoot begins
Raylene’s pain does not matter

Poetry

-05.05.17_00:21-
White Tee Shirt

Body Talk and Sexual Health

Orgasm Challenge

Sex News, Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

A Kink Couple Fantasize About the Waitstaff

 

 

Elust 88

Define Your Kink: Day 7

#7 – Do you accept and/or expect discipline or punishments as a part of your submission? How do you feel about it?

I think that even the most well-intentioned submissive will occasionally need corrected. I have been known to brat if I feel ignored. And I have found that a punishment is often the best thing for me. It’s the level and intensity of punishments that can create issues.

I take a lot of things personally. So while I respond well to physical punishments, being yelled at is another thing all together. I’m not sure why, but yelling just makes me cry like a scolded toddler. There was a time I remember when my husband and I were still working on our D/s relationship and one day in the car he hold me to ‘shut up’. I retreated immediately and didn’t speak for the rest of the night. I think I may have even cried on the way home. The thing is, I’m not sure what he was even upset about, so I didn’t really learn anything from the experience. All I remember is how upset I was.

A spanking goes a mile further than a time out or being yelled at. I will remember the time and effort you took to show much your disappointment and what you expect from me. Ignoring me is the worst possible punishment for me. I just get sad and withdraw more. While I will remember that I disappointed you, I won’t remember how or why. All that I will take away is that I’m lonely.

The idea of punishments are actually positive things for me. It’s the care of my dominant to want to correct me. To want me to be better. He could just let me be disappointing to him, or allow a sub-par performance to slip by. The time and effort shows that they care.

The understanding that I want to be my best for him is almost as much his responsibility as it is mine. That can be a hard thing for dominants to grasp. I can imagine that it would be difficult to balance care and correction as a dom.

Check out my other answers for Define Your Kink as I try to figure out what kind of submissive I am and what I need.

ELust #93

Elust 93

aurora glory header elust 93
Photo courtesy of Aurora Glory

Welcome to Elust 93

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #94 Start with the rules, come back May 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

 

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

A dress to die for

Pushing Past

Necessary.

 

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Kink lite, Kink life
Disturbance

 

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

The Contract

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

 

Erotic Fiction

The Contract
Speaking Truth to a Submissive Heart
Thunder
Subjugate U

Sex News, Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Jerking off to be banned under Texas bill
That Time Steve Bannon Destroyed Me
How to program a sex robot

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Effortless Connections & Harmonious Energy
Cialis
Playlist…

Poetry

A Love Affair, From A to Z: “A” – Always
-07.04.17_02:43-
Scouting: A Lusty Limericks

Erotic Non-Fiction

Conflict(ed) part 2
It’s All About The Feet
TEASE
Oral Birthday Fun ~ The Glorious Sixty-Ninth!
I Will Do…
The subtle threesome

Events

Eroticon 2017 – I Herd U Lieks It

Body Talk and Sexual Health

photo shoots past and future
Elust 88