Chasing Me Chasing You

An uncollared submissive struggling through depression, motherhood, and the constant craving of her next orgasm.

Horrible Truth

Ok, the first truth isn’t that horrible. It’s just a truth. It’s about oral. I love giving oral sex. Sucking cock is one of my favorite things. Using my mouth to bring someone such pleasure is a true joy for me. One of the few things that gives me power that actually enjoy. I also loved the one time I was able to give oral sex to a woman. I can get into a zone where it’s calming. Just to sink into the other person’s pleasure. So erotic. I get turned on as I do it and when they cum I get the strongest sense of satisfaction.

Here’s that horrible part. It’s also about oral. I’m getting sick of it. I know, it’s hard for even me to accept. But I am. It’s just not fun.

I think it may because it’s all we do. We don’t have penetrative sex of any kind. Certainly no ‘All Anal November’ for me this year. We had sex the other day, in the middle of the afternoon. It was blissful. But it was no foreplay, no aftercare (though we aren’t D/s anymore), and I didn’t cum. He gave me oral for the first time in six months the other day. I’m not sure what caused the sudden change of heart toward my vagina, not that I’m complaining. But aside from these few breaks from the norm over the last few weeks, oral sex has been the limit of our intimacy.

As I previous stated, I love oral sex. But I’m getting to the point where I just need a break. I just groan when photo after photo comes up on my naughty tumblr. I can’t masturbate to it anymore. And whenever I see it in porn I tend to roll my eyes. Which just feels sad. I want to love it all the time. And it feels wrong that oral just doesn’t inspire me anymore.

Maybe I just want to be appreciated more. Maybe I just want a bit of a challenge. Maybe I just need to be fucked. Or more likely, a little from all three.

See other topics that people are musing over or who they consider their muse for this weeks Wicked Wednesday.

Wicked Wednesday for post Stockpiled Cravings

Prey on Me

Wow, that last flogging was was intense. I can still feel the heat radiating off my back even with the cool water cascading over me as I try and stay out of sight behind the waterfall. Josh certainly knows how to wield a flogger. Maybe I will have to suggest to Sir that he supervise a repeat session in more structured setting. The scraping of the bark from  the tree on my tits took away some of the enjoyment though. My legs were still shaking a bit as I tried to calm my breathing and press myself against the rocks. I couldn’t stay here long, but the water felt to good against my back and thighs to move just yet.

The bushland setting and exhilaration of the hunt was everything I had expected. Something I will have to process further when I had more time and the perfect way to check if we are ready to attend Tryst. Sir had talked about booking us in, but he wanted to be sure I was ready to enjoy it fully. He set up today’s hunt as a special part of our annual visit to Josh’s wilderness lodge. He had arranged for a few couples to come here for some lunch and an afternoon of fun. If Tryst was going to be anything like this I will book the tickets myself. I hope he felt the same.

Now if I can only remain out of sight and avoid being found again for the remaining 45 minutes of the hunt, this will have been a wonderful afternoon. With the rushing of the water around me I wondered if I would be able to hear the airhorn finishing the hunt. I was banking on the water hiding me from view.

It was so like Sir to spring a surprise guest on me for the afternoon’s activity. He certainly upped the ante for the chase and gave me good reason not to be found, even if the odds were stacked against me. I just hoped that Sir wanted a fair hunt and didn’t let everyone know my three allowed hiding spots. Of course Sir stipulated where I was allowed to hide so he could easily find me if he chose to. There was no way Sir was going to have to hunt for me. But with only three options and a good distance between them, I didn’t want to have to run for the log if I was spotted.

I’m not sure I want Stephen to find me as I’m not quite sure what he will do with  me, but I’m certain he will fully exert his dominance over me to prove a point. Our last encounter didn’t go quite as expected and I may have been less than generous when I blogged about the experience. He certainly looked very pleased when I walked out onto the deck this afternoon ahead of the hunt. I was taken somewhat aback when I saw him and may have balked in the door way. Though I did notice that both Sir and Stephen noticed my hesitation, which brought a knowing glance between them. I knew then that Sir had offered Stephen a chance at redemption. Sir also knew he had just raised the stakes for me for the afternoon ahead.

*crack

Shit, someone was close. Just remember to keep control of my breathing, remain quiet and keep still until they pass.

I wonder who has stumbled upon my hiding spot. I can just make out their shape as I peer out from my hiding spot. Behind the cascading waters of the creek that runs through the property I had been able to make out anything wander by, but I could clearly see a human sized object approaching through the trees.  I can’t see who it is.

Hopefully Sir has decided to come find me, that would be fun. I’m not holding out too much hope of that, as he can play with me anytime and there are a few other subs running around that he has wanted to play with. Just let it not be Stephen. Not sure why he’s had such an effect on me by being here, but if Sir wanted me to experience some fear, he’s certainly achieved that. Maybe a scene with Stephen is just what I need.

Hmmmm, maybe I should just reveal my hiding spot and take what ever is coming my way.

Too late, I’ve been spotted.

Oh thank heavens, its Michael. We’ve played before and we had a good time. Well let’s see what he has in store for me. He reaches forward and looks at the tag around my neck listing the things that I’ve written down as hard limits. As you would expect, there was little point in wearing it, it was blank.

Without pulling me from behind the waterfall he had me kneel. He then proceeded to free his cock so that I could take him in my mouth. He positioned himself so that he was just out from under the waterfall, which placed me directly under it. As I attempted to suck on his cock, the water kept hitting my face, splashing into my eyes and some of it entered my mouth as I went about my ministrations. The effect was quite distracting and it took a lot of focus to keep on sucking. At times it felt like I was going to drown.

As I continued sucking his cock, Michael thrust his cock further down my throat causing me to start to choke on a combination of cock and rushing water. The sensation was very different and I can only liken it to a form of breath play. Something that I’m not overly comfortable with.

I think Michael could sense my discomfort was turning into distress and he withdrew his cock and helped me to stand. After a few deep breathes, he led me over to a fallen tree  which was slightly elevated above the ground. The positioning of the log provided  a very good improvised spanking bench. He motioned for me to straddle the log and lie down with my head extending just past the end of the log. Picking up some nearby rope (not sure where that came from) he secured me firmly to the log.

I hadn’t previously noted but there was a thicket of bamboo nearby. He  walked over to the bamboo and out of my peripheral vision. I could only imagine what he was doing. These thoughts were confirmed when I then heard a ‘swish’ through the air. Great, a bamboo cane. This is going to get very ouchy. I didn’t have to wait long for that to be proven true. I heard the swish, immediately followed by a stinging sensation across my ass. Shit that hurt. I tried not to wiggled too much as the bark of the log was also quite painful against my tits and stomach. 

Next I heard Michael say “Now Rye, like the good girl I know you are, I would like for you to count the strokes out loud.”

One, I said out loud. And so the caning continued.

The next nine strokes were all across my arse. Each stroke elicited a small gasp from me as I absorbed and processed the pain. There was a slight pause and Michael repositioned himself at my head. I turned my head slightly to be greeted by his erect cock pushing into my cheek. Taking him into my mouth I continued worshiping his cock. Well, at least to the extent I was able to whilst being bound to the log and beaten by a bamboo cane.

After a further ten strokes, each accompanied by a mumbled count and continued cock sucking, Michael placed the cane in the crevice of my arse. Then he placed his hands on either side of my head. Taking a firm hold he tilted my head up slightly and then began to fuck my mouth in earnest. He started thrusting in more deeply until I was deep throating his cock on each forward thrust. Just has he was building to a climax the siren indicating the end of the hunt went off. With two more fairly violent thrusts, Michael held my head down tightly onto his cock as he pumped a load of cum deep down my throat. Having fully emptied his balls he withdrew his cock leaving a long line of spittle joining my mouth to his cock.

He gave me a minute to catch my breath and recompose myself before he released my bonds. Feeling a little stiff I did a quick stretch and brushed the loose bark from my chest. I also took a quick dive into the water hole to refresh myself and to wash off the moss, spittle and cum that I had managed to get on myself.

We then set off arm in arm heading back to the camp site, making small talk as we went.

As Michael and I approached the camp site, it was clear that neither Sir nor Stephen were pleased to see that I had avoided capture. A displeasure that I would certainly pay for later.

And I did.

*This piece was co-written by myself and the Twitter boyfriend. I’m trying to get him to collaborate with me some more.*

Hands and Feet

I wish there was a way I could tunnel the focus on more than one thing in a photograph without it becoming a blurry mess. But, as I can’t do it (trust me, there are some hilarious edit outtakes this week), I’ll just have to trust you. Try to focus on all the hands and feet in this shot. My hand on Jill’s leg, holding her open for Jack. My foot trying to be cute and innocent, Jill’s hand playing with her breast in the reflection in the mirror. Lots of hands and feet to look at and each shares a different feeling. Normally I hate pictures that show so much of me, but I kept finding new things in this photo. Hope you do too.

Rye, Jack, and Jill with their hands and feet everywhere.

 

Sinful Sunday Kiss Logo

Taking Orders

Take me in your mouth. Soft and slow. Let me feel your tongue all along me. I want you to relish the taste of me.

Lick my nuts. Are they salty? Put me in your mouth and keep me there as long as you can. I want you to crave me.

I want you worked up. So hot and bothered you can’t take it anymore. I want you so hungry for me. Craving just a taste.

Take me in your mouth again. In…out…in..out. I want drool running down your chin. Yeah, just like that. I want to know how good I taste.

Take me deep. Swirl your tongue around. Feel every ridge.

Now bite me. And do it all again.

-Apparently my diet has led me to create some rather vivid inner monologues for my occasional snickers bar.

Wicked Wednesday for post Stockpiled Cravings

Oral Sex vs. Cock Worship

Many people see these activities as the same. Just because mouths and cocks are involved, both get lumped together. I argue that this is an untruth. The difference is the intent. The overall goal that drives your actions and decision making.

Oral Sex

Oral sex is about making him come. I go into it with a determined mindset. I am usually forceful with my actions (forceful = deliberate, not rough). I will try a variety of speeds and depths until I find the one he most enjoys. I will occasionally use my hands to massage his body, but focus on his cock with only my mouth. In other words, I don’t dally. I enjoy oral sex, I really do. There is a great challenge element to it. Trying different pressures with my lips and tongue until he moans and his breathing changes.

Cock Worship

Cock worship, by comparison, is a much more relaxing endeavor. Oral sex is relaxing for him, but I am hyper-focused to his reactions and responses to every movement. Cock worship is for experimentation and fun. My mindset is playful; often to the point of being impish. I want him to moan as much as possible. And with orgasming not an immediate goal, I am able to slow everything down. Hands are also more prevalent in cock worship. While using dirty talk or focusing my mouth on other body parts, hands stroking and massaging him can create an overwhelming effect

He encourages edging during cock worship as well. So speeds are much slower and complete stops are more frequent. Whereas during oral I will rarely pull him all the way out of my mouth, the opposite is true of cock worship. Instead, long, slow licks up and around his shaft occur. Testicle and anal play is also more frequent as speed and focus are less important. Sucking on his balls will rarely help him come, but as part of edging I’m told it feels great.

Mindset

The mindset of these activities are very different. Oral sex, for me, is very submissive, and all attempts are to please him. Taking him as deep as possible as often as I can to show him how much I enjoy my service. If, for whatever reason, I cannot make him come, I usually beat myself about it.

Cock worship, in a strange way, is empowering for me. It is one of the few times I feel in control in our current dynamic and enjoy doing so. I can decide to stop or slow down. I can move from his balls to his cock, massaging his taint as I go. Without orgasm, my only criteria for success is that he enjoys himself. And seeing me greedily lick and suck his cock has worked very well so far.

Turn Around and Start Again

So did you get any comments today on the hot skirt I bought you?

 

Not specifically, but I did get a few on the outfit as a whole. Does that count?

 

Sure, they probably just didn’t want to point out how amazing your ass looks, so they went for the general compliment.

 

Yeah, the middle-aged, conservative women I work with were struggling to find a way around that, I could tell.

 

Enough witty banter from you, Cunt. The kids are asleep and my cock needs worshiped. Leave the skirt on.

Yes, Sir.

 

There’s a good girl. I love the way your nipple piercings rub against my thighs. Don’t forget my balls while you’re down there, Cunt. They have had a rough day too.

Sorry, Sir.

 

That’s better…Maybe we should have your work colleagues over for a dinner party. I bet they would love one of my dinner parties. Don’t you think?

Honestly, no Sir.

 

It was a rhetorical question. I didn’t tell you to stop.

Sorry, Sir.

 

Now, before I was rudely interrupted,…we could dress you up to serve dinner. Probably in that skirt. Probably just in that skirt. Then, after dessert, I could lock up in the stocks and let people beat and fuck you. Hmmm, that sounds good. Turn around and up on your knees. You better be wet for me Cunt.

Yes, Sir.

 

Do you think they would fuck you slow, like this? Or fast, like this? Maybe they would hit you. Or pull your hair. Or maybe grab onto your collar so they can get really deep. I bet they would like that as much as I do. Mmm, and as much as you like it apparently, your pussy just starting dripping around my cock. Think you could stay wet for a few hours while they all took their turn? There are a lot of people in your office, and their spouses. Could be a long night. I don’t know if you’re up for it Cunt. You’re already drying out on me. Are my plans not turning you on?

No, Sir. Well, yes and no, Sir.

 

Explain.

Well, the thought of being dressed up in nothing but a skirt for serving dinner is fine. Being tied up and beaten and fucked for hours is fine. It’s the company. All I can see as you are talking is the line of secretaries from the first floor with belts, strap-ons, and sadistic grins. It’s not only killing my horny, but I may have to sneak into the building tomorrow so I don’t start hysterically laughing.

 

Well, I must say I’m disappointed Cunt. Your imagination needs some real work. Now we have to start over. Back to sucking cock and this time the neighbors are coming over. Turn around and start again.

Wicked Wednesday for post Stockpiled Cravings

Airport Arrivals

Plane at the gate.

I sat nervously as everyone jostled to get off the plane first. I knew that it would take awhile for the luggage to get unloaded and down to baggage claim. There wasn’t any point in fighting with the moms and businessmen to rush off the plane and wait. Besides, it wasn’t like I could get any more nervous than I already was. The five and a half hour flight had done that well enough.

As the last few people walked by I stood and grabbed my purse from the empty seat next to me. The flight attendant wished me a nice stay in San Francisco as I got off the plane; I told her I hoped so too, and thanks. Then I awkwardly started following the signs to baggage claim.

I’m not sure why I was so nervous. We had been talking for ages. Everything from our love of comic books to how much we loved the theme song to Civilization:IV. We liked the same movies, enjoyed the same food, and he didn’t run away when I sent him nude photos. I think I was more afraid of myself and my own bad habits. He had done everything right, and that could be a large problem. I couldn’t completely fall for him. Not yet anyway. What if the sex was bad? Or…, or I had no clue. The reality was that it was our first in-person meeting and I had flown across the country and if I fell for him I wouldn’t want to leave in three days and I had to and that was that.

As I came down one of the ramps leading to the lower level of the concourse I saw a mother with two little girls that had been on my flight. So I followed them to what I hoped was the correct carousel. Watching her made my biological clock tick a few times, but the stress in her face hit the snooze on that alarm pretty quick. Her daughters hadn’t been misbehaved on the flight, but now they were loose and it was all she could do to wrangle them and their carry-on bags.

The carousel was already on and various sizes of the same black suitcase were sliding down the conveyor. I again settled down toward the back of the pack and waited for the herd to thin. I had told him that my flight landed at 9:30 am, but it had gotten in early, so my nerves were only now starting to rise again. A few people grabbed their bags and I could see a sliver of the conveyor through the crowd in front of me. The line of black suitcases was interrupted in a flash as I saw my bright yellow bag peak through. I rushed forward to grab it before it went around again. Several people looked at me like I was a bit crazy for my flamboyant color choice, others were jealous at my good idea. I couldn’t take all the credit though, my mother had bought the bag for me before I had traveled abroad, and it had been so handy to have a bright colored suitcase that I never thought to use anything else.

I made it back out of the group before I saw him walking through the doors from the parking garage. His eyes trained on my suitcase and I silently cursed my mother. He smiled and I simultaneously felt nervous and turned on. His photo had caused a similar reaction, but this was much stronger. He walked toward me with more confidence that I think I’ve ever felt. As he got close I remembered all of our sexy conversations and joking pictures. As soon as he got an arm’s length away I pulled him toward me and kissed him with all the nervous energy from my flight. He didn’t seem to mind as he grabbed my waist an pulled me in tighter.

It was all that our talks and plans had come to. This weekend was about having a good time. From our conversations we were both overworked. He had less vacation time than I did, which was why I flew out to him. So worrying about emotions and what came next would have to wait. I could stew about it on the flight home in four days. Until then I planned on not wasting time being shy and reserved. After all, he had already seen me naked. He pulled back and simultaneously grabbed my bag and my hand.

“I think we better get moving toward the car.” Luckily he did have my hand or I wouldn’t have been able to keep up with him.

“What’s the rush. You’re stuck with me for three whole days.” I tried to be jovial, but my insecure nature was already worried.

“Well, I didn’t think these pants through this morning and they don’t hide my raging hard-on very well. That and I’m not sure airport security would look kindly on me fucking you in baggage claim.”

I smiled. “I don’t know. How many thrills do you think those guys get in a day?”

“Not near enough, but I don’t plan on being one of them. The cameras in the parking garage may get quite a show though, as there is not way I will last until we get back to my apartment.” He grinned as we walked down the breezeway toward short-term parking. The little blue hatchback was surrounded by other parked cars, but no other people were in sight as he loaded my large yellow bag into the back. I took a seat on the passenger side, but didn’t put my seat belt on. He climbed into the driver’s seat and immediately pulled me in for a kiss. His hands were on my breasts and in my hair. I moaned  as he kissed and bit a line down the side of my neck. I ran my hand down his chest to feel his cock straining through his pants. Then I pushed him into his seat.

“Put your seat back.” I told him as I began to undo his belt. He was right, his pants really didn’t leave much to the imagination. Less so for me as I had an image of his erection set in my brain from all our photo and video exchanges. I unzipped his fly and pulled his boxers down enough to free his cock and balls. I looked up to see him leaning back against the seat watching me work. I have him a grin and stretched across to bend down and take him in my mouth completely.

I almost laughed as he moaned and relaxed into the seat. His relaxation didn’t last long as he quickly grabbed my hair and began fucking my face. Apparently he had a lot of built up tension too. I was glad to not be alone. Almost as glad as I was to have his cock in my mouth at that moment. I massaged his balls and legs as I worked to keep pace with him. This wasn’t about taking our time, this was about that need that we were both feeling. I had had it since 5:15 that morning when I woke up to drive to the airport. I needed to know that we were a good sexual fit. And if I could get him off in the car in the airport short-term parking lot, then there was a good chance we would be.

He kept moaning and forcing my mouth further down onto him. Then just a simple request.

“Hold it.” I stopped. As much of his cock as I could take. I was still for a moment and then started moving my tongue around his shaft. I could move much, but it was enough. He moaned and I could feel his legs tense and squeeze his cock up and even further down my throat. Then they twitched and relaxed as I moved lips up and down in order to swallow. I licked him clean before sitting up and smiling at him splayed out on the seat. He looked content.

I let him enjoy the orgasm calm as I texted my mom to let her know that I had made it okay and I would call her later tonight. When I put the phone back in my purse he zipped up his pants and pulled his seat back up.

“That was very nice. Thanks.”

“I enjoyed it too. I think we were both a little on edge about how this was going to go.” He nodded.

“Now, I was going to take you to lunch as I know your body clock is three hours ahead. But, after that, I feel the need to reciprocate first. And, seeing how my little car isn’t really designed to make you comfortable for such an activity, I propose that we head back to my place. Maybe expel a little more energy and then I can take you out to lunch with lovely orgasmic glow.”

“Well, if you insist.” I sat back in my seat and clicked my seat belt. As we drove out of the parking garage I was already worried about when I would see this building again. In four days, when I had to go back to my real life. Just when I started to feel the panic begin to creep up my neck he grabbed my hand. I looked over to see him smiling at me. Then he grabbed my boob and put his hand back on the wheel. I laughed.

I was in a lot of trouble.

Wicked Wednesday for post Stockpiled Cravings

 

Attempts at Self-Gratification

Sir told me to cum when he left for work yesterday. I actually avoided it for awhile, as I was worried that I wouldn’t be successful. Stress and my ever-processing mind has made it difficult lately to focus through to orgasm. But after the grocery run and packing a few boxes, I decided to give it a go. I mean, he told me to, right? I grabbed the Doxy and thought that porn might be a nice change. But with this plan came a problem. All our porn is on Sir’s gaming computer, and I was pretty sure it was password protected.

In the end, I was able to find the porn folder and get into it without too much difficulty. I’ll actually have to talk to him about how easy it would be for the kids to stumble on it. But then…what to watch? It’s hard enough to decide what to watch on Netflix, much less what to wank to. Out of sheer curiosity I chose a vanilla piece that we purchased before we were kinky. It’s not kinky to watch porn together is it? If so we have always been and I never realized.

I couldn’t remember the last time I had seen it and it didn’t take long to remember why. Wow, do I need in kink in my life! It was mildly inspirational, I mean I eventually came. But it was a hard fight. There was no kneeling, no spanking, no choking. I don’t know what it is about kinky oral, but BDSM blow jobs are so much better to watch. She didn’t even seem half interested. I’m not judging, but isn’t that the whole idea of what pornstars do? I go after Sir’s cock with more enthusiasm and I’m not being filmed or paid. Well, paid in his satisfaction and appreciation (wink wink). I don’t know, it was just sort of a let down.

Then the woman had her turn. That part is always interesting for me. A viewpoint I never get to see. I tend to find that that is one my biggest turn ons. I like to watch men work. Well, women work too, I’m not picky.

So anyway, maybe I’ll try a different one today. Sir is gone with at a conference and I’m all alone in our big bed until Sunday. I think I’ll have time to test out a few more.

Balance is a beautiful thing

So I dug out both cars today. I took Sir’s car to the shop to get an oil change and new air filters. Then I had to re-shovel the drive to get the light, front-wheel drive car back in. This afternoon I shoveled the front walk and the sidewalk in front of the house. My fitness tracker didn’t know what to do with all the exercise. I came in and crashed; my legs and arms are so sore.

Sir had me strip down and covered me up with my aftercare blanket. Then he ate me out to three amazing orgasms. I got to take a quick nap while he moved laundry and went to pick up the boys. He is also sorting out a simple dinner. I have pain meds in my system and my wrist brace on.

Sometimes being the submissive he wants me to be means letting him take care of me. It’s a different kind of balance than the M/s set-up we tried before. He appreciated everything I did to make getting out of the house this morning easier, and all the work I did outside this afternoon. But pushing myself until I get hurt doesn’t help him. Even if a wrist surgery is in my future, that doesn’t mean that I need to mess it up as much as possible before hand.

Though if shoveling snow for three hours gets me oral, I’m willing to take it on as my new daily exercise routine.