Chasing Me Chasing You

An uncollared submissive struggling through depression, motherhood, and the constant craving of her next orgasm.

My Protector

Why are you naked?

Are you complaining?

No, of course not. I just thought you said you were heading upstairs to get dressed. He walked over to brush my bare stomach. Grabbing our son’s school folder, he walked back over the counter.

I think I need to change to a white bra and I know I have a clean one down on the drying rack. I walked into the laundry room and chose one of the lacy white bras that I washed earlier that day. What are you doing? 

I’m just finishing up the paperwork for parent-teacher conferences. Did you decide where you want to go for dinner?

No….I thought you said you were doing paperwork. School folder abandoned, he was now back at my side rubbing my nipple piercings.

Wanna play? Of course, he already knew the answer, but I put on the innocent smile anyway. I started to squirm a bit away from him and he reached around to slap my ass. I giggled through a ‘No’ and started laughing. He reached for me again, but we were both stopped in our tracks by the barking.

Our dog, a ten year-old boxer rescue, is a very sweet thing. She is a daddy’s girl and I’ve often said that she would turn on me and the kids in an instant for him. However, his recent action would prove  me wrong. Her barking increased until he stepped away from me. As soon as there was space she got in-between us and turned to him. She continued barking as she sat on my feet.

I couldn’t stop laughing. Apparently her face was priceless as she stood her ground to ‘protect’ me. Even when he tried to assure her that it was okay, she refused to move. I bent down to tell her that I was okay. Even rubbing her belly and scratching her ears she kept her butt on my foot and wouldn’t let him get close.

It was the sweetest thing. And she eventually did forgive him his perceived abusive transgression. I think she’s been a little bit more attentive to me though. I would’ve have thought that in all our previous BDSM fun that she would have witnessed him hitting me before. So I don’t know if it was just context, or because I said ‘No’.

In any case, it was really funny. After we both realized that we had not emotionally scarred our dog, of course. I was just so impressed at her immediate reaction and the way she came to my aid; even if it wasn’t necessary. I’ll just have to remember never to take her to any play parties or the poor thing would have a conniption.

Define Your Kink: Day 8

#8 –  Is spanking or corporal punishment a part of your submission? Why or why not?

The short answer is: yes.

In my previous dynamic with my husband we incorporated spanking as a punishment. This was done with bare hands, belts, whips, and canes. Usually this would part of a larger scene, but on occasion was done for specific infractions.

I found that my success rate with it largely depended on what happened afterward. I know that seems silly, but it always had the largest impact (pun intended) when there was solid aftercare. If it was merely an explanation of what I did wrong, several spankings, and being sent on my way, I faultered. The spanking wasn’t enough of a ‘punishment’, as odd as that may sound. I would continue to beat myself up (figuratively) about my mistake. If, when he thought I had been properly corrected, told me that I was still a ‘good girl’, and that I was forgiven, then I responded better.

My current dynamic with my Sir has only been long distance. He and I haven’t had the situation arise where punishment has been necessary. And, as much as I would love to keep it that way, I’m sure it will need to be discussed at some point. He and I have largely looked at spanking as a form of play, not punishment. But I know it’s something he practices with his primary sub, so I’m sure it will feature in our relationship in some form.

Check out the other Define your Kink questions and answers that I have done do far!

Spanking Bliss

I find kneeling to be such a centering activity within my submission to Sir. It was the first submissive act he introduced me to all those years ago, and one that has been a constant over our time together. My approach and understanding as to why he wants me to kneel has developed and I now appreciate the opportunity any time he gives it to me.

There is such an intensity in kneeling that underpins my mental well being, a kind of meditation where I can observe my thoughts and examine them without being caught up in them. It gives me time to process the varied feelings that my submission brings forward in me. That wasn’t always the case. In the early days I would be a sea of jumbled thoughts, drowning in the constant negative voices trying to find meaning and purpose  in all of the experiences he was taking me through. Something I didn’t know I was missing until he showed it to me.

Tonight is no different although I have an unusual number of new feelings to process and observe as a result of the weekend’s activities. As I kneel here waiting for him I am drawn to the collective experiences of the weekend.  I came here to experience what it would be like to go to Tryst, or at least to get a taste of what it could be like. I didn’t really know what to expect and as I have found out many times before to my detriment that having expectations is a dangerous mindset to be in. So I approached the weekend with an openness to the experiences and let them unfold as they did. Sir at least let me know the broad outline of the weekend’s activities so I was at least somewhat prepared.

Reflecting back I think the hunt for me was the most exhilarating and novel experience I encountered over the weekend. The consensual non-consent aspect, the limited negotiation around the scenes, the thrill of the chase, the intensity of the two encounters and the feeling of relief when the horn went off signalling the end of the hunt.

Also, finally making my peace with Stephen during the orgasm challenge was another tick for the weekend. I had really felt bad about how we had left things and giving him the time to dominate me and in such a public way was cathartic for me and I’d like to think for him as well.

The subsequent meeting with the bullwhip was made so much easier as a result. Don’t get me wrong it was an intense mental and physical ordeal. One I don’t think I’d like to experience too often, if at all, but with all new experiences it helps build my sense of self, and how important my submission is to me, and also to Sir.

Playing with Josh and Bianca throughout the weekend was really nice as well. We’ve connected before but we have never been together for as long. Relaxing and enjoying each other’s company both in and out of scenes was wonderful. Maybe we can host them back east sometime in the future.

Okay, reflection time is over as I here Sir’s footsteps approaching. That’s it, focus in on your breathing, clear your mind.

The door swings open and I hear him enter the room. He walks past me and I briefly glimpse his shoes as they come into my vision. I hear him move around the bedroom. It sounds like he is getting undressed and ready for bed. I’d really hoped there would be some more play. Then I sense his presence behind me. “A shiver runs through my body in anticipation.

“Your so delectable and vulnerable  when you are in this position. Good girl”, he says to me. He walks around me and I hear him sit on the bed. His feet just in front of me. He reaches forward and tilts my head up and turns it to face him. He smiles, bends down and plants a chaste kiss on my lips. Before I can engage further he sits back but indicates that I need to keep focused on him.

“So Rye, tell me about how you are feeling thinking back over the weekend?” He asks me. I slowly recount my thoughts around the events of the weekend. The good and the bad bits. Areas where I don’t think I performed as well. As I spoke he interjected with a few comments and observations. As I finished my review, he asked me whether I felt ready to attend Tryst. I didn’t verbalize an answer, I just nodded my head vigorously. I think he got the message.

“Well I think that I might need to book the two of us in then. Now I haven’t had my fill of you just yet. Crawl over to the toy bag and select two implements that I can smack you with and a pair of clamps and bring them back to me. I set off crawling as quickly as I can, but work to maintain a seductive sway of my hips and ass. I selected my favorite crop, the tawse which I have a love/hate relationship with and the least bitey clamps I could see. My nipples were still a bit sore and engorged from my session with Bianca.

Returning quickly to my position I offered the items up to him. He took the crop and the tawse and placed them on the bed. Next he took the clamps from me. Pinching first one nipple between his thumb and forefinger, then the other one he applied the clamps. He pulled on the chain to makes sure they were firmly attached.

“Ok Rye, I want you over my knee”. Moving from my position I leaned over his lap and started to lay down. Obviously I was too slow. He pushed me down forceably onto his lap, holding my legs in place with his, he slapped my ass. He repeated the process for several minutes, the intensity increasing as he warmed me up.

I  was glad for a warm up as I really didn’t have too much left in me to give. He next instructed me to lie face down on the bed with my hands extended above my head. He told me to hold this position and that I would be punished if I moved from it.

Swish. Thwack.

Alternating strokes between the crop and the tawse. Starting on my butt, then cascading down my thighs. Ohh, mmmm. I can feel that sense of slipping into nothingness but the sensation of pain and pleasure. The core becoming alive, my pussy moistening.. Focusing on each stroke. Absorbing the pain and dissipating each blow. Ever more slowly drifting to my happy place.

Sometime later, I really don’t know how long after the first blow I feel his weight shift onto the bed. My legs are forced apart and I feel him lifting my hips from the bed. His rock hard cock searching out my core. Finding it, he thrusts forward in one movement, forcing the air from my lungs. Pausing to savior the depth of his penetration, he begins to fuck me. Slowly and deliberately at first. Increasing in his urgency and speed he urges me on to a climax. He can feel me pushing back to receive more of him. This only spurs him on to pound into me. I’m so close.

“Please Sir, may I come”, I scream out. For a moment I don’t think he’s heard me as he continues to build to his climax, but then I hear a simple “Yes slut, come for me”. That’s all I need and my orgasm claims me just as he does in one final thrust burying himself balls deep emptying his balls into me as my climax seeks to pull all of his cum out of him.

Slowly our breathing returns to normal. He places an arm around my waist and pulls me closer in a classic spoon position. His cock still buried inside me as it slowly deflates. He whispers a sweet “good girl”, before telling me to get some sleep.

In a wonderful state of owned bliss I drift off to my land of dreams.

~

This is the final section in Rye’s weekend away. If you want to check out the other parts in the series that the Twitter Boyfriend and I put together click below. And don’t worry, our wheels are already churning on a new adventure. 🙂

Prey on Me, Cum-uppanceThe Whipping Post, & Two Can Play at This Game.

941.081 Reign of Victoria

I looked over the text conversation from that morning:

Me: I am shy on the outside

Him: Like a naughty librarian, calm and demure on the outside. Kinky to the core on the inside.

Me: Believe it or not, I have an MLIS degree.

Him: I knew there was a reason I like you. So you really are the naughty librarian.
 
Me: Yep 🙂 
Him: If I may, I bet checking out books from you would be fun

Me: It would. I have glasses and a collection of cardigans. Wearing that and nothing else but heels makes work fun 🙂

Him: I do need help finding a book in the back area of the reference library.

Me: Well, I know how finding things back there can be confusing. I can help.

Him: Oh good, I’ll be by in a bit.

Text flirting with him was always fun, and we had talked about meeting several times, but the idea of our first face to face interaction taking place at my work had me a little on edge. I recognized him as soon as he walked up the steps to the reference section, and I was sure by the grin he gave me that he knew me as well. But games must be played. Besides, I had told him I was shy.

“Can I help you find something?”

“Yes, thank you. I’m looking for some reference material on the Victorian era.”
“Anything specific, bloodletting, or corsets, perhaps?”
“Corsets and formal gatherings seem a good place to start.”
“I have lots on that. In the back room.”

“Excellent, I’m doing some research into high protocol Victorian functions. Lead the way.”

I walked from behind the desk and led him down to the last stack and turned. “Sounds interesting. Researching for business or pleasure?”

“Pleasure, strictly pleasure. Have always been fascinated by that era.”

“Excellent.”
“Let’s see what you have on the subject, I have also been curious if the Marquis de Sade had any effect on the Victorian age. The rules of a Victorian household and punishment.”
“Sounds downright inspirational.”

“Rather stimulating on many levels. Spankings and switched were used as common form of punishment.”

 “Maybe you could assist with some of my research, a bit more hands on so to speak.”
 “We librarians always love to help with research.” I turned down the far stack until I reached the 940s.
” I’ve always been curious as to the effects of spanking as a form of punishment. I think this would be the perfect spot to begin testing that theory. We would need to set a baseline. Turn around and face that bookcase. Grab a hold of the highest shelf you can and keep still.

“Then do so, good girl.” He watched almost admiringly as I stretched out to grasp the shelf. I wanted to be good and stare at the shelf, but I couldn’t help following him as he surveyed me. His eyes caught mine and locked on them. “I think there is more to you than just a librarian, you didn’t hesitate when I told you to grab the shelf. Let’s see if we can version to turn the key. Hold on to the shelf and do not let go. You are not to make a sound or I will make it hurt even more”.

He placed a hand at the small of my back as he lifted up my cardigan, I could see him smiling at what I saw beneath it. I tried not to shift in anticipation. Holding the cardigan with one hand he reached out and gave each cheek of my ass a hard squeeze. With a downward swiping motion he connected his hand with my ass in a good swat.

I gripped the shelf tighter, but made no noise. Giving me a few more squeezes I felt my skin begin to warm beneath his hand. Then, using the flat of his hand in quick succession he landed several hard smacks. A tear ran free from my right eye, but I bit my lip to keep quiet.
He leaned in and whispered in my ear, “your doing good girl”. He continued spanking me, this time though each time his hand landed on a cheek he pressed in to let the power of each spank to move through me. My whimpers began to turn to moans as another tear streamed down my face. When he switched it up once more, he started spanking with his finger tips to give more sting. Quickly the whimpers returned.
Stopping for a moment he rubbed my back. “Are you sure you’ve not done this before?” He asked, his warm breath played across my ear. I tried to give my most innocent face as I shook my head, but then I wiggled my ass to encourage him not to stop.
“I think this book might be exactly what you’re looking for”. He reached out as I handed him a book on Victorian marriages and corporal punishment being used to keep wives in line.
“A wonderful place to start. Thank you for your assistance. It was most helpful. Of course, if this doesn’t answer my questions I may be back tomorrow to get a something else.”
“I’m in at 8”. I wiped the tears from my eyes, straightened my cardigan, and smiled as I walked backed to the reference desk.
 Wicked Wednesday for post Stockpiled Cravings

Owned, Leashed, & Beaten

I spent some time in the corner recently. Often when Sir is setting up a scene he has me sink into my happy submissive place by kneeling in his closet with my nose in the corner. It’s not a punishment; it’s just a good way for me to let go of my other responsibilities and prepare for whatever he asks of me. Sir pulled out the bondage toys and lots of lovely things to make me squirm. Our toys have been packed away since the move and it was nice to get things out again.

My mind was racing through the day and various tasks to remember. But after he gave me some clamps and told me to decorate my pussy I couldn’t focus on much else. Nothing makes you forget your mental grocery list faster than having clamps on your clit. He also pulled out my leash, which always helps me feel owned as well. Sir has enjoyed slowly testing out the nipple piercings and the wartenberg wheel made a painful appearance. Once he was done testing my breasts I was ordered up on the bed.

I got excited as he handed me the doxy and let me get comfortable. For a few minutes anyway. Then, in one of the brief moments I opened my eyes I saw him standing over me with the riding crop. I was allowed to keep working toward my orgasm, but he had me hold my legs up in the air. He started lightly hitting my thighs, but quickly worked his way up to harder swings. The juxtaposition between the vibration on my clit and the sting on my legs had me moaning and begging in no time. The crop on it’s own would have reached my higher pain levels quickly, but with the doxy to temper each strike, the pain made my pleasure even stronger. Sir let me writhe for awhile before he let me come. Only as my orgasm shot through me did my legs start to hurt from the strain of holding them up as my muscles convulsed. When he took the doxy from me and let me relax I curled into a gooey ball. He covered me with the aftercare blanket and unclipped my leash.

Owned, leashed, beaten, and allowed to pleasure myself with a glorious orgasm. I would be happy writing that sentence all day everyday.

Masturbation Monday logo

Mars, the Bringer of War

You are pretty argumentative this evening cunt.

Sorry, Sir.

See, even that was snippy, almost rude. I am sorry if you had a bad day, but I won’t tolerate rudeness.

I understand, Sir.

That’s a little better. Now come over here. You will count as you receive your spanking and then apologize for your behavior.

She took three steps toward him, stopped, smiled, and ran the other way.

So you want a battle tonight cunt, is that it? He was off the couch and down the hall in an instant.

She used her moments carefully as she opened the basement door to make him think she went down there to hide and then crouched behind the kitchen island. He appeared in the kitchen a second later and took the bait. He bounded down the basement stairs and she smiled an evil grin that he would slap off her face if he could see it. When he reached the bottom of the stairs she got up and ran for the second floor. It wouldn’t take him long to search the open room of the basement and be back on her heels again.

Cunt!

His voice made her stop on the stairs. He started back up to the kitchen and the sound of his footsteps got her moving again.

Cunt this will not end well for you.

She was really in trouble, but she could hear the smile behind his words that said he was at least having a little fun with this cat and mouse game. When she reached the second floor she considered turning toward the office, but instead decided on the bedroom. Passing the closets she went straight for the bathroom. She climbed in the shower and crouched down. He would have to walk all the way in to see her past the vanity, a glance and he would miss her. He didn’t miss much though.

Cunt, you may have won that little skirmish, but I will win the war.

He was on the stairs. She could tell he was trying to decide her next move. The floor was quiet as she was sure he had gone to the office first. She considered trying to make it the stairs, but then she heard her closet door open. The squeak was unmistakable. He was in their room.

I’m zeroing in on you, cunt. Surrender and I will be merciful. 

She was silent. His shadow appeared through the shower curtain.

Oh my lovely little slut, what a perfect place to hide.

He reached in and turned on the shower. Cold water hit her face and shirt before she could think. The shock made her scream and she tried to move out of the water’s reach.

Oh no. That’s not how a little cunt gets punished properly.

He took the shower head out of the holster and aimed it at her breasts.

Present position, cunt.

She considered defying him, but instead accepted defeat and got on her knees. He kept the water blindingly cold as he soaked her from head to toe. Then he hung the shower head back up and turned the water off. She thought he was going to hand her a towel, but instead he climbed in the shower himself.

Are you cold, cunt?

Yes, Sir.

Good. You know better than to run from me. I always win. Don’t start a war you cannot win. Now, you are starting to shiver, let’s warm you up.

He took a step toward her and she thought he was going to get a towel, or possibly turn the warm water on, but neither happened. She looked up at him just in time for the stream of urine to hit her face.

She couldn’t argue that it wasn’t warm.

Open your mouth, cunt.

She did and the warm, salty liquid filled her mouth quickly. It ran down her chin, breasts, and legs. The front of her body lost it’s chill as he emptied his bladder all over her.

Eventually the stream stopped and he took a step back. She closed her mouth, swallowed, and looked up at him.

Good girl. Now get cleaned up, you’re filthy. 

Yes, Sir.

And that was just for trying to battle with me. You still need a spanking for earlier. Get showered and come back downstairs. You have ten minutes. Your gag and leg cuffs should keep you from running away or talking back this time.

Yes, Sir.

He smiled as he turned to leave the bathroom. She may have lost this battle, but she would continue the tactical war as long as he kept smiling.

*                 *                   *

This week’s prompt for Wicked Wednesday was to be inspired by your music. My shuffle button led me to Mars, The Bringer of War by Gustav Holst. I encourage you to find the entire planets series as it is beautiful (Jupiter, the Bringer of Jollity is my favorite) and also check out everyone else’s musical inspirations.

Wicked Wednesday for post Stockpiled Cravings