Chasing Me Chasing You

An uncollared submissive struggling through depression, motherhood, and the constant craving of her next orgasm.

Sir’s First Task: The Basement Part II

Sewing desk before cleaning
Basement Pre-Clean 3

Waking up on Saturday morning I was more motivated than I had been in a very long time. After reviewing the photos I sent, Sir had given me my marching orders. I needed to clear my sewing table so that I could realistically use my sewing machine. Hopefully that would encourage me to find more time to get down there and use my private space to refresh. Also, as the boys get older and search out their own private time, I could use it more regularly. I also needed to clear the catch all table so that I could use it for sewing prep and other creative projects.

So with coffee in hand and a background noise of The Great British Baking Show on my laptop I began to clean. I decided to focus on the black table first. It was where I had hoped to set up my laptop when I was down there, and have all my stationary materials. I am a big fan of handwritten notes and I have a large stash of postcards that I enjoy sending to family and friends. They are just a nice way of letting someone know you are thinking of them. And I love getting mail.

Cleaned stationary desk
Basement Clean – Stationary Desk

Sorting through all the paperwork took the most time. I have a pretty good organization system for our receipts and important papers, but when I don’t have time to file everything, it gets thrown in a pile to be sorted later. Later had finally come. Luckily, mixed in with all the important bills were lots of items that could be recycled. And once I got going, sorting out the important bits and the surplus paper went quickly. Trying to jam them into my file cabinet took a little time, but I got there.

Cleaned sewing table
Basement Clean – Sewing Table

Separating items into what I used for stationary and what I used for sewing helped me give the tables different uses. And my collection of little boxes were perfect for all my thread and sewing trims. I was pretty happy with the way both spaces turned out and I really hoped Sir was too.

I sent him photos as well as the ‘after’ photos I posted on twitter. I was so relieved when he wrote back that he was impressed. I even got a ‘good girl’. It was the biggest self-confidence boost I’ve had in a long time. I was practically gooey just hearing that he was proud of me. Sometimes I worry that I have daddy or general parenting issues because of how much I want someone to be proud of me. It’s the nicest compliment that I can ever receive.

All this meant that I went to the office yesterday feeling good, which hasn’t happened in awhile. It’s amazing how my productivity during the weekend and my interactions with Sir can affect my entire week.

Sir has given me the week. I am hoping to use my sewing space a few times and enjoy my hard work. Then we’ll see what he wants me to tackle next. There is a lot down there that doesn’t belong to me. And even more that needs sorted and sold. So I hoping that this project may force the issue on a few things. Or, if nothing else, get me to box things up and store them on the other side of the basement. Keeping my office mine.

So I am sure there will be more updates as this task continues. And I’m sure I will write more as my submission is allowed to grow. This is the most submissive (and likewise best) I have felt in a very long time. I hope Sir allows me to continue to serve in any way he sees fit.

cleaned sewing table and stationary table

 

Sir’s First Task: The Basement Part I

I have an IUD. I’ve had it since the end of 2014 and subsequently have not had a period since around the middle of 2015. Which sounds amazing, and does have certain perks, i.e. I’ve saved a lot of money on tampons. But even though I don’t have the cramping, I still have the emotional drop and mood swings. It makes my depression medication work extra hard to get me through the day and often fails miserably. And, considering the day to day issues I’ve been having with my boss at work, I was dreading this month’s drop.

A blue and white baby quilt.
A baby quilt I made in 2014.

I also love to sew. Since moving about a year and half ago I’ve had my sewing machine set up, but I’m not sure I’ve had it on more than a handful of times. My grand designs of having several quilts ready to go to give as gifts for Christmas last year fizzled quickly. And between all the job, kid, and husband stress over the last year my space has been largely ignored. But making things is a huge confidence boost for me. Don’t get me wrong, I love to write, but having something tactile in my hand is a different productive feeling. I’m sure if I ever had a book published it would feel the same. Something I made. Even better is when it’s appreciated and/or used by someone. I think that pulls back to my submission and caring for others.

All that plot exposition was all to prep you for my first task from my Sir. We were talking about my low mood and I mentioned sewing being a good outlet for that. He had asked about it and all I could really come up with was that my creative space in the basement had become a catch-all for various things.

The basement from the bottom of the stairs
Basement Pre-Clean 1

I dramatized it a bit about how bad it was, but I’m sure in my head it was that bad and that’s why I wasn’t motivated to clean it up. He told me to send him pictures when I got home from work on Friday; that maybe this would be a good project for me.

I was honestly surprised at how good I felt just thinking about a task. It had been so long since I’d even been presented with the possibility. Even through my emotional fog, I felt motivated to try and get back to something that made me happy. When I got home I immediately went to downstairs to take photos. I’ll admit I tried to get angles that would show the worst of the piles.

Basement mess from the couch
Basement Pre-Clean 2

It may not have been as bad as I originally described to him, but it wasn’t great. I had cleaned off the couch the week before when we had to take the kids down for a tornado warning. I think the angle from the couch is what was sticking in my head when we were talking. I think it’s just the piles that threw me off. And the amount of stuff that isn’t actually mine. Everything from records that were left in the house when we moved in to clothes belonging to my mother. My creative space had been overrun by things that needed sorted and/or sold. But, without this motivation it would probably continue sitting like this until closer to Christmas when I need to wrap presents. Though that would be more of wiping my arm across the table so I have a flat space to work. This was going to be a much larger task.

It Always Works Out in the End

The package had arrived two days ago but I was instructed not to open it until I had time to complete the task. So there it sat, tempting me until today when I finally found sufficient time alone to open it, examine the contents and follow the instructions that he had included in the package. I knew roughly what to expect but not the specifics of the challenge.

You see, he’s finally arranged to come and visit me. We’ve been talking for a couple of years now but we just haven’t ever found the time to be together in the same place. We have missed each other by a few hundred miles or a couple of hours on a few occasions which has been frustrating to say the least. He will be finally arriving in a little over two weeks and be staying for around three days. I can’t wait, we have so much to catch up on and so much sex to have to make up for the times we haven’t been together.

Over the years we’ve exchanged a lot intimate thoughts and fantasies, the occasional video, stories and even collaborated on writing erotica. I know that he has one unfilled sexual desire and that is to have anal sex. Not judging, but his partner has steadfastly refused to even consider trying it which has caused him a lot of angst and frustration over the years I have known him. My recent attempts at anal sex have been less than stellar as well due to my lack of preparation, a fact he is aware of so I have a fair idea what the focus of the task will be and what the likely  contents of the package.

Opening the box I find an envelope which I assume contains the instructions, a tube of Wet Platinum Premium Lube, a small anal vibrator, a medium size butt plug and a longish rectangular box. I’m very curious about what’s in the box so I open it up to find a very life like silicon dildo which can have a vibrator inserted into the base if desired. The resemblance to a real cock is amazing. Even the colur is close to pale pink skin. There is also a suction mount that I assume helps secure the dildo to a wall or floor.

So now I have the contents spread out on the bed I decide it’s time to open the envelope and see what he wants me to do with all of this. Tearing open the envelope I find a couple of A4 pages of typed instruction.

The first instruction is that he wants me to video the session and send him a copy once I’m done. He has been specific around the camera angle he wants so that he can see my ass being penetrated close up. He insists that I do a short test video to make sure the positioning is as he has asked.

It turns out that the life like cock dildo is in fact ‘a clone a willy’ silicon replica of his cock. He says that once I’m comfortable taking his cock up my ass he will know that we are both ready for the real thing. How amazing is that. Only he would have been that thoughtful.

The rest of the instructions are more about ensuring I’m clean and that I warm up properly so that I have the best chance of taking his cock in my ass first time. Looking at his cock I think that this will be doable. He has often said that he has the perfect cock for anal sex, long and thin. I think the girth his  fine, but I’ve seen some that are bigger. I think I’m in agreement to his assessment. Time will tell.

Okay, I’ve got myself prepared. A little clean out and lots of lube liberally applied. Test video done.

Now let’s get into position and get on with taking his cock in my ass.. He wants me positioned on my knees so that I can place my ass back onto the cock and allow me to rock back and forth.

I am finally start the recording and get on with it. I’m already wet with anticipation. Maybe I’ll get him to fuck my pussy after the anal preparation. He never said I couldn’t.

Using my fingers first. I reach back and rub my finger around my anus and slowly slip the tip of my finger inside my ass. Moving in in and out I slowly increase the depth of penetration. Once I’m feeling aroused and relaxed I next add a second, then a third finger. I’m may have also missed my ass a few times and ended up fingering my pussy. Oops.

After a few minutes I feel I’m ready to use the butt plug to further open up my ass. His instructions said that I have  to continue with inserting and removing the plug until my ass gapes and remains open for two seconds before closing. Following his instructions I slowly insert the plug. I know from a previous video exchange that he loves seeing the plug slowly disappearing up my ass. So to give him some added viewing pleasure I make sure I do this a few times. I also push back trying to expel the plug creating a bulge which looks amazing and hot. After about five minutes the plug has done its job and my ass is staying open. I do enjoy sticking my fingers into my open ass. Such an anal slut.

I’m ready for the last part of the task. Taking his cock I secure it to the floor using the suction cup he supplied. Next I grab the lube and apply a liberal amount to his cock  and slowly jack the cock smearing the lube over its length. Another squirt and I lube up my ass. Ok, so here goes. Squatting down as directed I slowly lower my ass towards the tip of his cock. I feel it start to push against my anal opening. With a bit more pressure I feel the head slip past my sphincter and into my ass. Pausing to get used to the cock in my ass, I take a few deep breathes. I pull back off his cock and slowly impale myself on his cock again. This time a little deeper. The next time I pull his cock out I leave the head inside. The next down stroke takes him deeper into my ass. It’s a little uncomfortable but I think I can do this.

Moving slowly and deliberately I take my time getting used to his cock in my ass. As my excitement increases, so does the speed of my movements,  lowering myself further onto his cock. With one last push I manage to bury his cock balls deep in my ass. There is some slight pain and some uncomfortable twinges, but it’s not too bad. I’ll do better next time, and the time after that. I then raise myself up and off his cock and turn off the video. That completes his challenge for the day. Now I’ve just got to clean up and send him the video for him to review my progress. I hope he is pleased.

I love that he sent me his cock to practice on. I know that when he gets here I’ll be ready. Hmmm, maybe I need to practice my deep throating skills as well.

When I am Asked the Hard Questions

I have actually been asked, by three different people over the last year, to clarify my needs. As far as needs go, I should be honest and say that there aren’t too many real needs in either category. I often say it jokingly, but I am pretty easily entertained. So, I attempted to identify what was actually a need and what was only a want. When I broke it down, there really aren’t that many.

Personal Needs
1. Priority – Everyone has lots on their plate. I think I just need (to feel at least) like I am someone’s priority some of the time. I feel like I always make everyone else a priority and it’s never returned.
2. More than just a convenience – Honestly, this is true for just about every relationship I have. I hate feeling like I’m only around when they want something. I feel like that with my kids all the time. But with my husband, lover, best friend, I want to feel like they want to be there for me too. I’ve written a lot on the blog about how I don’t want a lover without an emotional connection. I think this is along that same vein. I want someone that thinks about me when we aren’t together. That sees some small trinket or joke on tv and says ‘man, you know who would love that?’. This has been hard, especially with reference to the husband. I often feel like I’m only there to do dishes and suck his dick when he’s in the mood. It’s gotten much better, but there are scars there.
BDSM Needs
1. Consistency – I’m always looking for some kind of consistency. I thrive on routines. That is as much to do with my upbringing as my depression. But generally I like to know what is expected of me. Changing the rules at a moments notice will throw me off every time.
2. Games are for fun – I know there are sadists out there that love to set insurmountable tasks just for the fun of it. To watch their sub struggle knowing they will never be able to succeed. I hate that. If I try my hardest and I fail, I feel like a failure. But if I know that no matter how hard I try I won’t complete the task, I won’t even try. I will recede into a ball of inadequacy. If it’s a ‘see how many you can take game’, I’m great. But if its ‘mop this whole floor in five minutes’, I will just shut down.
3. Aftercare – I think I’m slowly realizing (through no fault of his own) that I wasn’t clear on how much aftercare I needed when the husband and I were doing D/s. I don’t think I ever got enough aftercare. Scenes would end right before bed and I would go to bed in a weird place. Cuddling wasn’t enough, and I’m not sure I was ever able to articulate that to him properly. I have an aftercare blanket. I found it in the basement the other day. I love it, but it wasn’t used often enough and now it’s not used at all. Even the few times we have ‘scened’ (I use the term loosely) in the recent past.

Sometimes Losing is Winning

I hate being bored. Okay, no one probably enjoys boredom. I hate not having anything to do.

I have a list for everything. Lists of chores, of work tasks. And, I include everything on a list. I will include relaxation time and/or activities if I can.

Because of my anal retentive nature I think Sir finds it difficult to give me tasks and chores. At least in a domestic sense. Part of that, I think is that with small children, and both of us working full-time it’s all hands on deck. Occasionally he’ll give me a specific chore that needs done, but that is usually because he is doing something else already. The other part may be because he knows I already know. I have a cleaning list that I made myself. I don’t need to be told that the bathrooms need cleaned.

We tried domestic control with tasks last fall. I had daily, weekly, and monthly tasks on a schedule. I had an application on my phone that was connected to his, so when I checked something off he was notified immediately. It worked for awhile, but we both just lost interest. I would forget to update until the end of the day and he would forget to ask. Tasks wouldn’t get done and there wasn’t follow-through on either of our parts. Motivation crumbled. And considering I often struggle to motivate myself just to get the cleaning done, this did not help.

Sexual or D/s tasks are very different. Tasks or challenges within a scene are generally very hot for both of us. Sir is a big fan of position challenges. Setting me up with all my weight on my clit smashed on a bar. Or holding his towel while he’s in the shower on my tip toes. Some have been successful; some have left me frustrated and upset. Obviously I want to please him, so I take my failures very seriously.

However, it is important for me to remember that often his tasks are set to fail. He wants to see how long I can last or how much I can take. There isn’t a set finish time; it’s just how long I can go. Him watching my struggle is 90% of his enjoyment (I am assuming the 10% is because I’m usually naked).

Kink of the Week logo

Brownie Points

Rye had a bit of a rough morning. I had given her a straight-forward task to perform while I was in the shower. Stand on tip-toe while holding my towel at arms’ length, raising it slightly higher toward the ceiling every time she lost her balance. She was doing well, with her arms almost reaching the ceiling as I finished in the shower. As I was finishing myself up – and honestly taking my time – she safe-worded out of the exercise; I later learned that her ankle was giving out and she was at risk of falling over. I climbed out of the shower and asked if the task was more painful than it seemed at first. My question was met with a wall of defenses; redirection, incredulity, anger, and more besides. I was taken off guard and it took me a moment to gather myself.

A lot went through my head at that moment. We switched places and she climbed into the shower while I started to dry off. She was holding herself in her arms and sobbing huge, silent tears into the corner of the shower, busily tearing herself to ribbons for what she thought was a failure. I climbed back into the shower, held her, and explained a few things. I explained that the purpose of the assignment was in the doing it at all and in the not giving up until health and well-being became an issue. I soothed her out of her head and back into the moment, where I was proud that she had engaged in so superfluous and unproductive a task at all. She consented to stop beating herself up for the moment.

So, I went upstairs and laid out her clothes, from the inside out, so to speak. Starting with the Njoy Pure plug, a tube of lube, and the Doxy, and then onto a shirt and skirt, I prepared her appearance for the day. I don’t normally do this because I don’t normally get to do this, but it felt important in that moment that she feel an extra layer of my influence and approval.

I left her to get dressed while I did some cleaning down stairs – until I heard the telltale buzz of the Doxy. I went up; she was beautiful. I tugged on and assaulted her nipples while she came. I forced her throat down around my cock while she came. I beat her ass with a belt while she came. All separate and massive orgasms, by the way.

And then I offered her some Brownie Points.  “Do you want some brownie points today?”

“Yes please,” she chirped, enthusiastically. 

I pulled her short leash out of the playbox. If I am remembering correctly, this came from one of Rye’s old clutch purses. I attached the tether to the Njoy’s handle, and instructed her to leave the lead for the day. 

Rye with her plug and her leash on.

She did. The whole time we were out at a fancy restaurant to celebrate her birthday. It led to an interesting and hilariously compromising situation, but I’ll leave Rye to share it, as she knows more of the details, and it would be a story whose heart is more in the truth than the embellishment.

Unfortunately, however, she did not get to spend the day in the skirt I had picked out, but that’s mostly because I insisted on cumming on her face before lunch and the skirt got gobbed on. “If it was only one spot, I’d probably leave it, but this is a bit obvious.”

You could fairly ask what the point of any of this is. In all honestly, I’m not sure myself – real life often defies logical presentation. If it were fiction, I would suggest that the story of the plug come before the story of the tears, so that the energy for the former could feed the emotion of the later. I would give the whole thing a small bundle of possible interpretations, all somehow distinct and connected at the same time. I would give it an optimistic but ambiguous conclusion.

Life defies narrative direction, but soars in the telling.

A close up of Rye's ass with her plug and her leash.

 

Organizational Plan

Yesterday was all about a clean start, literally. I cleaned the house from top to bottom. Every room was scrubbed, vacuumed, and dusted. I even cleaned off the ceiling fans, which, if I’m honest, I’m not sure I’ve ever done before. They were gross. But it felt good to wipe away the dirt and grime. Not just because it makes my body twitch when I see how dirty the boys can make our house in one afternoon. But because I know it’s something that Sir appreciates. With his work hours he comes home tired and looking at a mess when he walks in the door isn’t really helpful. He knows that I have a lot on my plate, and anyone with kids knows that most cleaning is an exercise in futility.

So I was happy to see his smile last night when he got home. I think I was able to show him how much I enjoy my service. I don’t take it for granted. And it really gave me a chance to clear my head and remember what is important. Last night he used me and I wasn’t sure if I would get to cum. And the best part, I didn’t care. I came back to bed as satisfied as if I had an orgasm myself. To be used by him and to hear ‘good girl’, was the most relaxing feeling in the world. It reminded me why I crave this. I want to make him happy that I am his.

So today starts the next step in my organizational plan. I’m going to try and complete one small task each day. Probably not sexy, but something that will show him that I appreciate the chance to serve him and make coming home a little easier. The next few months will be hectic with the renovation and the move, so my daily tasks will help to chip away at that. Packing, sorting, cleaning, hoping every little bit will make a small difference. He’s allowing me to have the kids in daycare and preschool all day so I can be more productive; I don’t want to waste his generous gesture.

In any case, we are both feeling better today. Sir and I talked about some new rules regarding talking to him if I feel that we are getting too distant. Life happens, and I need to be more direct when that starts to get to me. As going forward, bratting (per his definition) will not be tolerated. He has enough to contend with and doesn’t need my poor behavior on top of it.

I’m sorry that my actions upset him, but at the same time, I’m glad we had this hiccup. We were able to work through it and realized a lot about how we deal with situations. We have a way to go, but I think, all in all, we processed it well. Not perfect, but well. These problems will happen from time to time and we’ll need to keep working through them. It was nice to know that we can without falling apart. We both want this enough.  That realization for the both of us was worth the bump in the road.

A Better Way

Punishment Writing Assignment:
Instructions:
On Thursday, August 27 you will post these instructions, the prompt below, and your response to that prompt. You will not add any additional explanation, though, from Friday, August 28 onward, you may discuss – or not – the assignment and the facts underlying it as you see fit.
Prompt:
You have been given an instruction by your dominant over an electronic media. It is clear to you that the described task is expected to be completed immediately or as soon as possible. It is also clear to you that it is based on a misinterpretation (reasonable or not) about your availability to complete the task. In fact, this misinterpretation makes you feel some resentment because you feel it represents, on some level, a failure for your dominant to be aware of you and the realities of your life. Your first instinct is to respond with something snarky, sarcastic, and disrespectful. Instead, you take a deep breath and think of a respectful way to respond.
Provide 12 different ways to respectfully respond to your dominant in this instance. Your responses may be either written, verbatim, as you would write them to reply in the electronic media, or they may be an explanation of actions that you would take in response to your dominant’s instructions.
1. “Sir, may I please have an extended deadline to complete this task? I am currently dealing with an impatient child. If you require [said task] to be completed immediately, I may need some help in addressing the children’s needs. Thank you.”
2.  Try to make the children as comfortable as possible and complete the ordered task. I needed to recognize that you would understand that I was doing my best and following your orders as soon as I could.
3. “Sir, to complete this task I will need some help with the kids. Can you please relieve me of ‘mom duty’ when you get time? Thank you, Sir.”
4. “Sir, I apologize, but I have a work deadline and a lot to complete. Could you please clarify when you need [said task] completed and I will do my best to meet those expectations? Thank you Sir.”
5. “Yes, Sir.”
6. “Yes, Sir. I am wrestling with [child x or y] and I will take care of that as soon as possible.”
7. “Sir, the children are worked up and require my undivided attention at this moment. Would it possible to have a hand with them so I can complete this task for you, or an extension to finish it as soon as I get them settled down? Thank you, Sir.”
8. “Yes, Sir. Can you please specify a time frame that you need this completed?
9. “Sir, Would it be possible to review my daily tasks with you? I am unsure, with the children’s current behavior (needy/clingy) that I will able to meet your expectations as far as chores are concerned. I would appreciate if we could look at and possibly edit the list for today. Thank you, Sir.”
10. “Yes, Sir. Can you please clarify the priority of this task? Thank you, Sir.”
11. Yes, Sir. I must respectfully request that you come down and help me with the children. I am struggling to complete my standard work and cannot take care of the [said task] as this time.”
12. Suck it up, make it work, and get it done. “This task has been completed, Sir.”
Additional Response demanded as Numbers 7 and 11 were too similar:
13. “Yes, Sir. Can this [said task] be combined with my evening chores as I do not have the ability to take care of it presently? Once the children go to bed I will have a chance to give this my full attention. Thank you, Sir.”
Love you Sir.

They Have an App for That

Lifestyle dominance is not always easy with jobs and kids. Luckily, in our world of technology, there are several applications to help. Just like buying your bondage rope at the hardware store, there are always ‘household’ things that you can use to make the most of your D/s in this vanilla world.

Sir and I struggled as we took our relationship from bedroom D/s to a 24/7 TPE set-up. I am pretty OCD; I have lists for everything. My day-planner is full of notes, to-do lists, and appointments. But remembering everything when I don’t have my planner in front of me can be difficult, and Sir can’t always make sense of my ramblings. We found it hard to track what tasks I had completed during the day and when he had extra chores to assign, I would often forget them as they wouldn’t make it into my planner. This would end in lots of hurty disappointment for all (mostly me).

So a few weeks ago Sir decided that me being overwhelmed and him not having a way to track my work was unacceptable. And, considering the apt timing of us getting new phones, he decided that we needed to try something new. So we got an app. As they are not paying me and I’m sure there are several out there that do similar things, we’ll call it Wunderlust. The app allows us to have several different lists going at the same time. I have lists for work and personal goals and are only visible on my phone. But we have shared lists that we both can edit and complete tasks on. There are lists for cleaning, groceries, BDSM, tasks and goals, etc.

The obvious thing that drew us both to this new system is that I can mark off a completed task and he can check my progress throughout the day, even if he is at the office. He can add tasks whenever he wants and I can see them almost immediately. He can also assign due dates to certain chores and put them on a repeat cycle. For example, I have to vacuum the stairs every Monday, the dining room every Tuesday, and so on through the week. I can see what needs done today and what things are coming up.

Personally, I have found this to be amazing in my OCD nature. Everything is organized, but flexible. I can look at the day’s tasks in one folder, even if they are from different categories. We both can add items to the grocery list and he can even add sub tasks to larger projects. We are both hoping that this will help me to get some time to work on some of my creative projects. Slave or not, I need a little me time as a break from the kids. And Sir does enjoy the crafts and baking endeavors I try. He does tend to benefit from my quilt making and pie baking.

So we’ve had this app system for about three weeks now. It’s been working quite well. I encourage those with long distance submission or repetitive chore lists to look into something similar. May as well use the technology that exists. Making slaving down right simple.

And it does look a bit more professional and more private that my day planner no longer has notes like ‘tweet cunt’ and ‘butt plug time’ in the margins.

It’s not cheating

When Sir set my June task to wear my butt plug for 50 hours I was concerned. He didn’t give me the task until the second week of June, so I was worried I wouldn’t have enough time to complete it. And I hadn’t worn the plug for consecutive days for quite some time. I wasn’t sure how multiple hours, several days in a row would work. But that was my challenge. And I think I rose to it. I’m now comfortable wearing the glass plug for extended hours. I’ve left the house with it in to do grocery shopping (one of my 101 Things). It is all together a more pleasant experience to put in and wear. I was doing so well that I finished my 50 hours early and Sir allowed me to start my July hours a few days before the month actually started.

This was a huge relief for me. I was worried about 100 hours in one month. Even wearing it every day for three hours per day wouldn’t be enough. And if I forgot a day or was excused from wearing it because I felt sick would really put me behind. So I started the month with eight hours already done. But yesterday I wasn’t really feeling well. I tried to put it in and just felt sick (sorry if that’s TMI). I didn’t even last fifteen minutes. And then I started (in my usual anxious fashion) to start worrying about how I would make up that time.

Since my little accident with the glass plug Sir ordered me a new one and it arrived yesterday. I like my purple silicone one, but it just doesn’t feel as comfortable for longer amounts of time. So I had been doing my three hours and taking it out. But with the option of the glass plug back on the table, I considered something. What if I slept with it in? I hadn’t really thought about it before. But after I started weighing the options, I’m not sure why it hadn’t been there from the beginning.

So last night was my trial. Sir wanted me to take it out if it kept me up or if I woke up in the night in pain. It would be the longest I ever had it in, so I wasn’t sure. But it wasn’t a problem at all. 9.9 hours and I felt fine in the morning. In fact, it was kind of nice. Having my glass plug again was great. The flange is a lot smaller and smoother than my silicone plug, so moving around at night and sleeping on my back wasn’t a problem. I woke up, took it out and went on my way.

No longer worried about my 100 hours. A few more nights like that and I will be sorted. And, one of my 101 Things goals to wear the plug for 85+ hours in one week is a lot more realistic as well.