Chasing Me Chasing You

An uncollared submissive struggling through depression, motherhood, and the constant craving of her next orgasm.

When What You Wish For Is Amazing

The other night I was tweeting about craving cock. As I have started to get nervous/excited about my sex vacation in a few weeks I have started some serious fantasies. The threesome experience I will be having (hopefully) will be with a married couple, but my fantasies as of late have been largely centered around two men. Sir and the gentleman I will be visiting could be an amazing night of fun. Often, when he and I flirt, we talk about spit roasts and how much I love the idea of being used by two guys at once.

So the other night I was thinking about it and getting all gooey. A few people appreciated my desires and even Sir was thinking fondly on my idea for an evening with friend(s). I had had my Njoy in earlier in the day and that always makes me super horny for the next twelve hours or so. Sir even helped me put it in, which is always leaves me a gooey puddle. By the time we went to bed I was a wet mess.

Sir ordered me to strip and get between his legs. Cock worship started with rubbing my breasts across his cock and balls. Obviously I don’t have the experience myself, but apparently my piercings feel pretty amazing on his shaft. He was breathing heavy after only a few minutes. But, always in command, the orders continued.

“Keep your ass in the air. So that you are ready when he arrives to fuck you. You better be wet for him. You will, right? Because you’re a good girl.”

“Yes, Sir.”

For a split second I honestly thought that someone else might be joining us. I was so excited that I started wiggling my ass from side to side as I began taking him deep.

“You’re dripping for him, aren’t you slut? Get your hand back there. Show him your pussy. Show him how wet you are thinking about him fucking you while you suck on me.”

I was more than happy to oblige. I really was dripping. And my eagerness with my fingers were matched by my tongue. The phantom threesome was working for both of us. With both us teetering on the edge Sir had me stop. He turned me around and slammed into me.

“Suck on your fingers. Taste how went you were thinking of him. Fill your mouth while I fuck you.”

He pounded into me while I sucked the salty brine from my fingers. Neither of us lasted very long, but it was so amazing we didn’t care. Cleaning up we both curled into our post sex positions and relaxed with our post-orgasm glow.

I was just so shocked how well that little bit of role play worked for both of us. A simple fantasy exchange and he really ran with it. Control and the mere idea that someone may join us was a great night for both of us. Sometimes all the kinky pieces fit together and it just works.

The Gift of a Key

This is the next installment to the Beth and Graham story. If you want to catch up you can link to Part IPart II, or Part III here.


“That was excellent salmon Graham, thanks for your help with dinner.” I cleared the plates quickly and returned to the table. Graham and I had relaxed most of the afternoon and enjoyed our trip to the store. His recipe was amazing and I know Sir was impressed. Sir had been working since his shower, so I was hoping he was going to take the evening off. I was surprised when he started to walk down the hall again to his office, until he called for Graham to follow him. I walked down the hallway behind them, not wanting to miss an instruction from Sir.

“Cunt, come kneel next to the desk. I need to talk to Graham for a moment.” I moved quickly as Sir gestured to Graham to have a set across the desk. In his office chair he seemed even larger and more in command than normal. Kneeling at his side I’m sure to Graham he looked like a king with his sex slave looking down on a lowly serf.

“How have you enjoyed your visit so far?”

“Yes, Sir. It has been lovely. Thank you for allowing me to visit.”

“I know you and Beth have been close on Twitter for along time. Does our D/s reality still appeal to you?”

“It does appeal to me greatly. But my wife doesn’t feel the same. And although she gave me permission to visit a friend and experience a scene with male dominant, I don’t think she would ever be comfortable with me having a regular female top. But I love her more than I need this, so our BDSM dynamic will have to be limited it to what she is comfortable with.”

“So you seem to have resigned yourself.”

“I wouldn’t say resigned. I certainly hope to have more experiences like this. I’m so grateful to her. I wouldn’t have felt right coming here at all without her blessing.”

“Good. You did well this morning, but I wanted to make you were comfortable being here before I gave you this.” Sir handed Graham an envelope. He pulled out a short printed letter. After he read it, he and Sir kept talking, but he handed it to me to read while they spoke.


Sir, Please give this to Graham should you deem it appropriate.


This letter is to clarify to you that I trust you. And after several conversations with Beth’s Sir I trust him too. You have my permission to enjoy this weekend. You’re not cheating. You’re not being unfaithful to me. This is an experience I don’t know that you will get a chance to repeat. And Sir assures me that he will make sure you earn everything that he decides to give you.

Please remember that I love you. Your service to me will be through Sir. I expect you to make the most of this visit. See you soon.



Short and to the point, but knowing Graham, it was necessary for him. I was surprised he had done so well with everything that had happen over the last few days. I knew that some of our activities would eat at him if he didn’t have those clearly expressed words of permission.

But Graham didn’t know about the letter that had arrived a few days before he arrived from Hannah written for Sir. I hadn’t read it. Sir didn’t offer and I didn’t ask. I was obvious that Hannah was putting a lot of trust in Sir. And that I would have to trust that the two of them knew what was best for Graham. This was part of that.

Sir took the letter from me, folded it, and placed it on his desk. Then he reached into this top drawer and removed something small. Putting it in his pocket, he told both of us to go to the play room and prepare. I moved quickly so as to explain that prepare meant we were to get undressed.

When he entered a few second behind us he told Graham to stand next to the St. Andrews cross. Sir pulled some of our larger rope out of a bottom drawer and began to tie him to the cross. I watched almost mesmerized. Sir would rub Grahams chest and legs as he tightened each knot. There was a sexual energy in this exchange, but Sir’s demeanor never changed. Graham had his eyes clothes and was already moaning.

I knew he was hoping to have experiences like this. Hannah wouldn’t permit him to go to clubs or purchase their own equipment, so I was sure this was his first time being tied to anything. Normally Sir would put cuffs on my wrists and ankles before clipping me to the wall, but as I thought about it I realized that my cuffs were probably too small for Grahams limbs. The larger rope would have to do.

When Sir had Graham secured to the cross he walked over to the toy box and pulled out a riding crop and one of the smaller canes. Grahams eyes followed the cane as Sir walked across the room toward me.

“Pick one.”

This was a pretty standard practice for Sir. He would have me pick an implement that he would use on me. But now, I wasn’t sure if I was choosing for myself or Graham. I went with the cane, hoping it was the former. I was wrong.

“Here you go, Beth. Show me your form.” He handed me the cane, but I just stood there staring at it. Sir lightly slapped my right cheek.

“Let’s go cunt, before I get impatient.”

“Yes, Sir. Sorry Sir.”

“Graham you will count. And Beth, no holding back. If I think you are being too easy on him I will take over. Make him earn his reward.”

Walking over to Graham I stared as his cock was already straining against the cage. I ran the cane up both of his legs. He moaned. I tapped the end on his already hard nipples. He turned his head away from me. I tried to channel Sir.

“Look at me.” Graham instantly opened his eyes and turned to me. I don’t think he was expecting me to talk. I’m not even sure what possessed me to, but I didn’t hear a correction from Sir, so I kept going. As I walked in front of Graham his eyes now followed me. I wouldn’t have the element of surprise, but I didn’t want it. I wanted him to know the strike was coming, because it was going to hurt.

The cane made a slapping noise as it hit his upper thigh and a thud followed as his body jerked against the St. Andrew’s cross. He teeth were gritted together as he groaned and a red line almost immediately appeared.

When I was on the cross, I always wanted the hits to come closer together, as it was easier for me to get into subspace. So I decided to stick with that method with Graham. My blows were deliberate and in quick succession. Up and down his thighs and torso. I hit his nipple once and he yelped with such a pain that I couldn’t bring myself to do it again. I have no idea how long it took me to get to fifty, but by the time I did I could feel his exhaustion. Luckily Sir told me to stop.

“I am impressed. With both of you. Good form Beth. And Graham, I’m deeply impressed with you. You handled everything she threw at you.”

“Thank you Sir.” Graham was breathing heavy, but his eyes were focused.

“Now, let’s see how you handle your reward.”

It almost sounded more ominous that the beating. Sir reach into his pocket and pulled out a small key. I looked at it with confusion, but Graham’s eyes had gotten very wide.

“This, dear Beth, is a copy of Graham’s cage key. His mistress sent to me in a letter a few days before he arrived. In that letter were specific instructions of when and if I was meant to use it. She has agreed that certain experiences would be beneficial to you and she wants those to happen in a protected setting. Therefore, Beth, take this key, and remove Graham’s chastity device.”

I smiled as I took the key. Graham still looked confused, almost scared. I unlocked the cage and carefully removed it; setting it on the floor next to the cross.

“Now, Beth, Graham has heard of your talents from afar for a very long time. Let’s show him that I don’t over exaggerate your skill.”

I looked up and Graham and smiled as I watched his cock timidly grow. Unsure how to act without the cage surrounding it, his erection almost seemed unsure how to respond. I was practically giggling when I began licking and tonguing his shaft. He began to moan and strain against the ropes almost immediately.

Oral sex was always something that he had fantasized about. We had talked about it at length. When I had originally talked to Sir about Graham visiting, it had been a desire of mine to service him in this way. When the cage restriction had been announced I was upset that this wouldn’t come to fruition. Now I was enjoying every minute.

He filled my throat as I took him deep. I rubbed the cane marks on his thighs with my fingers and nails. He hissed and moaned. Unable to distinguish the pleasure from the pain he thrust into me one second and pressed back against the cross the next. Soon, his body took over and he was thrusting in earnest. I opened my jaw and stuck out my tongue to massage his balls with each thrust. His moans increased and then stopped as he came. I had meant to have him come all over my breasts (another fantasy of his), but the connection I felt as I drank in all of his orgasm was too amazing.

I sat back on my heels to await further instruction. As I looked up at Graham’s face. He was leaning back against the cross, breathing heavily, but a huge grin had appeared.

Sir handed us both bottles of water and tugged a strand of my hair affectionately as he walked by. He didn’t mind sharing me as long as he got to show me off. I am pretty sure we both loved that, actually.

Graham set the bottle of water down on the floor and gave me a quick smile before looking at Sir for further instruction.

“Beth, do you want to be my little piggy?”

“Yes, Sir.” I nodded eagerly.

“Then come assume the position. Graham, grab three lengths of rope from that second drawer and bring them here.” Graham began following the order, but I could tell he wasn’t sure what was happening. I kept waiting for him to meet my gaze so I could let him know it was a good thing, but he stayed focused on his task.

I climbed onto the spanking bench as ordered. Placing my hands together under the bar I rested my knees on each of the side bars. I let all my muscles relax as I sank into the padding. Taking one of the pieces of rope, Sir began tying my hands together. Without words he indicated to Graham to use the other two lengths on my thighs. Once they finished, Sir checked to make sure they were secure.

“Pick a toy Graham. Any toy you like. And use it on our little piggy until I say otherwise.”

Sir walked around to the front of the bench and unzipped his pants. Without order I took him into my mouth. I couldn’t see Graham walking about the room, so I focused on Sir’s cock until I felt him standing behind me.

I’m not sure what I was expecting; some impact toy, I guess. What I wasn’t expecting was the sharp point of the wartenberg wheel pressing into my flesh. I wriggled on the bench, but my legs were tied fast. Plus, Graham’s sadistic side emerged as he began to push down and drag the wheel whenever I attempted to move away. I was trying to focus on Sir’s cock, to let the pain take me into subspace. However, soon I felt Graham’s erection against my thigh. And I wasn’t the only one who noticed.

“Seems you are finally ready to help me roast our little piggy Graham. Put the wheel away and grab some lube off the shelf. Get yourself good and wet, and when I say, you are going to take her ass.”

“Yes, Sir.” He wasn’t even attempting to hide the eagerness in his voice.

My ass and pussy were soon dripping with a mixture of my own desire and the water soluble lube. I tried to indicate to Sir that I was ready by taking him as deep as I could. I’m pretty sure he understood my message, but liked it too much to act upon it until he wanted to. He never was one to bend to another person’s schedule. Graham rubbed the tip of his cock against my thighs. He was just as eager as I was.

“Okay, now.” As he gave Graham the order he grabbed the sides of my head and began to face fuck me slowly. I moaned around his cock. Graham pressed against me for only an instant before sliding in.

It only took a few thrusts for them to synchronize their movements. I relaxed every muscle and just enjoyed each moment of the glorious double penetration. Everything slid in and out and filled me just like I had dreamed. Being used by two men had topped my bucket list for a long time, and the chance to experience with these two made it even better.

It didn’t take long before we were all a moaning, coming mess. I don’t remember much after I was untied. The blissfulness of being used and getting to please two men I cared so deeply for had me drifting off to sleep. Sir carried me to bed.

I woke up around 11:30 to find myself sleeping alone. I ventured out into hall and down to living room. As I rounded the corner I heard laughter. Sir and Graham were sitting in the arm chairs on the opposite wall. Each had a whiskey tumbler and similar belly laughs. I only heard part of the discussion; something about each growing up in religious households.

I smiled at the thought myself and tiptoed back to bed. Graham would have to leave tomorrow and his cage was probably already back on. I crawled back in bed thinking of the big breakfast I would make for them. I hoped this visit was everything he had hoped for. It was more than I could have dreamed. And I still occasionally dream about it. On really good nights.

Sex Drive

Through this process of finding BDSM and discovering my submissive sexuality I have worked to let go of my issues with masturbation. I’m still not comfortable taking care of my own horniness as often as I could, but it’s a process. However, as I take steps to get more comfortable with pleasuring my own body, I am having more issues with Sir taking care of himself.

Molly wrote a great piece for This D/s Life about how being used is a large part of her submission. I found myself nodding along as I read. I understand that being his used slut is part of what really turns me on. Being pulled upstairs in the middle of the afternoon to have my skirt thrown up so he can have a quick fuck before the kids yell for more juice. It may not be everyone’s fantasy, but honestly, I usually masturbate to something similar (sometimes the kitchen counters, sometimes the laundry room). With our often hectic lifestyle, those little trysts are a joy. And just the idea of him going upstairs on his own for a wank without me hurts.

I know that sometimes he just wants to take care of himself, he likes that sensation occasionally. But as a needy slut, it’s hard for me to accept that he doesn’t want to use one of my holes. Part of it is that his sex drive isn’t the same as mine. I’m not saying that to be mean, it’s just a reality. A few years ago (before we had kids) it was swapped. He couldn’t get enough and I just wanted to sleep. My sexual awakening over the last few years has changed that. But even if he says he’s fantasizing about me, I feel jealous. Not being able to take part in some way makes me feel like less of a sub. Honestly, even being forced to kneel at his feet and watch would make me feel purposeful (and it would be crazy hot).

It’s just been an odd process as I work on my sex drive and sexual ticks to find things that bother me. I used to be so sexually repressed, that I often see myself as open to anything. And I am by comparison. But the strangest things trip me up along this journey and I guess this is one of them. With that said, I’m sure I will get past it and move on to some other hang up. Maybe then it will be the type of porn he looks at, or some issue with my own masturbation. Maybe one day I’ll even aspire to be issue free. But then the world would explode, so we’ll keep our goals realistic instead.

Turn Around and Start Again

So did you get any comments today on the hot skirt I bought you?


Not specifically, but I did get a few on the outfit as a whole. Does that count?


Sure, they probably just didn’t want to point out how amazing your ass looks, so they went for the general compliment.


Yeah, the middle-aged, conservative women I work with were struggling to find a way around that, I could tell.


Enough witty banter from you, Cunt. The kids are asleep and my cock needs worshiped. Leave the skirt on.

Yes, Sir.


There’s a good girl. I love the way your nipple piercings rub against my thighs. Don’t forget my balls while you’re down there, Cunt. They have had a rough day too.

Sorry, Sir.


That’s better…Maybe we should have your work colleagues over for a dinner party. I bet they would love one of my dinner parties. Don’t you think?

Honestly, no Sir.


It was a rhetorical question. I didn’t tell you to stop.

Sorry, Sir.


Now, before I was rudely interrupted,…we could dress you up to serve dinner. Probably in that skirt. Probably just in that skirt. Then, after dessert, I could lock up in the stocks and let people beat and fuck you. Hmmm, that sounds good. Turn around and up on your knees. You better be wet for me Cunt.

Yes, Sir.


Do you think they would fuck you slow, like this? Or fast, like this? Maybe they would hit you. Or pull your hair. Or maybe grab onto your collar so they can get really deep. I bet they would like that as much as I do. Mmm, and as much as you like it apparently, your pussy just starting dripping around my cock. Think you could stay wet for a few hours while they all took their turn? There are a lot of people in your office, and their spouses. Could be a long night. I don’t know if you’re up for it Cunt. You’re already drying out on me. Are my plans not turning you on?

No, Sir. Well, yes and no, Sir.



Well, the thought of being dressed up in nothing but a skirt for serving dinner is fine. Being tied up and beaten and fucked for hours is fine. It’s the company. All I can see as you are talking is the line of secretaries from the first floor with belts, strap-ons, and sadistic grins. It’s not only killing my horny, but I may have to sneak into the building tomorrow so I don’t start hysterically laughing.


Well, I must say I’m disappointed Cunt. Your imagination needs some real work. Now we have to start over. Back to sucking cock and this time the neighbors are coming over. Turn around and start again.

Wicked Wednesday for post Stockpiled Cravings

Clink Clink

I walked out of the bathroom after my shower. My workout was good, and I had sweat through my camisole during the run. Sir had said I looked sexy in my exercise clothes, but I fended him off long enough to get a shower. As soon as I walked through the kitchen naked, however, Sir grabbed my arm. He pulled me into the laundry room and closed the sliding door. He smashed me up against the clothes washer and ran his cock up and down. My clit to my asshole was slick in seconds. I groaned and pushed back against him.

Pulling my hips back he pushed into me slowly. I tried to grip the top of the washer for leverage, but with the lid down there was nothing to grab. I finally got my fingers to grip the edge of the lid with limited success. His pace was vigorous as our time alone was uncertain. He wasn’t going to let me cum, so rather than focus on myself, I just let him move me. Sometimes it’s nice to feel like a rag doll.

Finding a good position I arched my back to tilt my pelvis for him. By doing so my nipples shifted to a perfect position over the washer. With each thrust my nipple piercings brushed the top of the machine.

Clink! Clink!

“I love that sound.” He practically groaned it.

Knowing that he liked it made my arch my back even more.

Clink! Clink!

As he came he pressed my body into the washer and dug his fingers into my hip. I groaned at the lovely combination of feeling him cum and wanting to twist away from the pain. He pulled out, turned me to face him, and pushed on my shoulder. I knelt down. Without saying anything he pointed to the drop of cum about to fall from the tip of his cock. I quickly stuck out my tongue to catch it and cleaned him off. When I sat back on my heels he turned and left the room.

“You’re a good fuck, Rye. I’m getting in the shower.”

I stood as he left the room. Cum had dripped from my pussy onto the floor as I cleaned him off. I considered licking it up. If he was still in the room to see it, that’s what he would have me do. I should my head as a bad sub as I cleaned it up with a towel instead. But I bent over the washer one more time and smiled at being his fuck puppet.

Clink! Clink!

Whiskey Revisted


I will admit that this depth of field prompt through my camera for a loop. In the end I realized that my camera isn’t as high-tech as I hoped it was and that I might need to go back through some of my older photos to see what I could find.

I still love these set of shots we did. It was based on a photo I found on Tumblr. This was one of the ‘after’ photos where I have been quite well used, though the cane marks are barely visible.

Check out everyone else’s stunning photos on this week’s Sinful Sunday.

Sinful Sunday Kiss Logo

Sore never felt so good

It’s been a long time since I’ve been sore. It’s not like we completely stopped having sex during our D/s break. Even some lovely bits of rough sex. And I wish I could properly explain the difference between rough sex and D/s sex. It’s probably just a mental thing.

So we have been taking things slow as we attempt a new dynamic set up. There has been a lot less posing and a lot more cuddling. Which both of us seem to enjoy. And when he started our scene last night with cuddles and petting I was so relaxed and gooey he could have done anything. And he did. And it was lovely. Even the part where he hit my breasts with the belt. The twisting and writhing didn’t make him stop, but he would occasionally run his hand along my leg to let me know how proud he was of me. I practically begged for more as I simultaneously arched into the blow and twisted away from them.

Then there is all the wonderful slamming and ramming. I never would have considered those verbs to be used to describe my sexual activities. But they are always present in my best memories. As well as all the lovely soreness. I woke up this morning with this great throbbing. That used feeling seeping into every part of me as I curled up with our duvet. Sir even got the kids downstairs and let me lay in bed for awhile and enjoy my soreness.

This new dynamic of spoiled morning and cuddles isn’t what I thought I wanted. I thought I needed to be posed and beaten to tears to be a good submissive. And no matter how many people I talked to or tutorials I watched that explained that each relationship works differently, I didn’t learn. I tried to force myself and him into this BDSM box of tumblr pictures that was never going to work. And I refused to open myself up to the possibility of enjoying something that wasn’t the definition I created in my head. If nothing else, I think the ‘break’ finally shook that loose. I could finally see passed the expectations.

And now, now I enjoy the soreness and bliss of his happiness. Of his pleasure in my pain.

My coffee tastes better this morning than it has in a long time.

Don’t drop the soap

That is a bold faced lie.

Drop the soap.

Drop it often.

Especially when your mother-in-law is visiting and has taken the kids downstairs so you can sleep in for once in your life. When you both decide that a shower together sounds like the perfect way to wake up.

Honestly, just throw the soap at that point (don’t hit him, he won’t like that). You won’t need the soap. Nothing cleans you off like a first thing in the morning shower fuck.

I’m practically squeaky.


I’ve been really good lately. And trust me, that is saying a lot, because it has been hella hard. Horny and frustrated does not equate to being a lovely, supportive wife and mother. But I came home from my business and tattoo appointment (more on that later) in a really good mood, so we ran with it.

Crawling into bed last night he started stroking my leg. He soon was stroking lots of other things and I was dripping and moaning. Then he shocked me.

“I just want to be a cock. Use me, abuse me. I don’t care.”

It only took me a moment to get over the surprise of what he said. And, being the slut that I am, I didn’t waste any time climbing on top of my new cock present. There is just something about straddling him and having a good hard orgasm. After nearly a week it was beautiful thing. It is those types of orgasms that make it hard for me to masturbate as I know I can’t replicate it on my own (I will, however, be trying later today).

As much as I was taken aback by the ‘I just want to be a cock’ line, I was equally excited when he decided that he wanted to come too. After some fun teasing he fucked my face. You wouldn’t think that someone holding onto your head as they ram their dick into your mouth would be relaxing, but it was delightful. And even better, he sighed. Sighed in the best, most relaxed way you can imagine. He sank into the bed as I covered him up and turned out the light. So many of his comments over the past week were about how constantly feeling the pressure of being my Dom made sex more stressful than enjoyable. Obviously I never wanted that, but I understand that it was inevitable if he wasn’t comfortable in what he was doing. So reminding him how relaxing sex can be has been a goal.

I treat my cock right. And I hope he gives me the opportunity to continue to do so.

Faded into memory

Going to the big family holiday party tonight. Should be interesting. Sadly these marks will have faded before then, but at least I can pretend they are still there. My pussy is sore enough to remember.

20151208_215050 20151208_215059 20151208_215445