Chasing Me Chasing You

An uncollared submissive struggling through depression, motherhood, and the constant craving of her next orgasm.

Poly Hotel Guide

What to look for when you are meeting up with your lover at a hotel for a few days:

As Jack and I have planned this his visit I actually considered quite a few things when determining what local hotel to use. We decided for space and comfort reasons that we would stay at the hotel and then visit the house during the day. That way there wouldn’t be pressure for any threesome activities if Sir wasn’t up for it. And we don’t have to wash the sheets, so bonus. He’s flying in to an airport around an hour away, so we wanted to stay there rather than finding a hotel around my house. For privacy reasons, and I’m not sure I’ll be able to keep my hands off him that long.

  1. Room service. Our hotel doesn’t actually have this amenity, but it is one that I would generally recommend. Jack and I are trying to force ourselves to get out a bit. Without the possibility of food being delivered straight to room we will have to get dressed at some point. We’ve talked about a honest to goodness date. This may degrade down into a drive through so we can get back to the room faster, but I’m holding out hope. I have nicer clothes (i.e. clean pants that are sweats) packed just in case. If your goal is to stay naked as much as possible, room service is a must.
  2. Free Wifi. Not that we plan on spending too much time on our phones, but internet access is pretty crucial. There are the obvious twitter updates and photos to share. It’s also nice as sometimes #4 isn’t an option and finding your own is necessary.
  3. Late check-out. This is pretty obvious and I’m not honestly sure what ‘early’ check-out is anymore. No one wants to be rushed out on their last day of vacation. Especially as I will have to drive Jack to the airport and say goodbye until who knows when. The longer we can stay cuddled in bed the better.
  4. Porn. I have written about porn in hotels before. Most don’t have it for purchase anymore, which is sad. I am a huge fan of porn as entertainment or background noise. Jack and I are bring some and can always download more though. And, not having porn is always a good excuse to create some of your own. 🙂
  5. Local sights  Nope, 1-4 pretty much covers it.

Needless to say I’m looking forward to some fun this weekend. We are also hoping to visit my house and small town for some lunch and maybe some time with Sir. Some board games and beer could be a nice break from all those orgasms.

California Memories

Rye giving oral sex to Jill
Elusive Anal – ‘Always leave them wanting more’

I got up on my hands and knees as I grabbed the Doxy and Jack grabbed the lube. We had both pumped up the importance of anal as Sir and he had discussed it beforehand. I think he even ripped open the condom as the front door opened. Jill had come home. I’m still not sure about the miscommunication. I think we thought she was going to her hair appointment before heading home. Not that it was a secret what we were doing, obviously, but we still didn’t want to rub it in her face after her long day at work. She didn’t seem to mind, but we both felt bad. We chose to get dressed and keep her company until she left.

In order to have the maximum amount of time all together in the evening, we chose to grab dinner early. I ran through the shower and Jack took me out a group of yummy food trucks.

I cook (food truck dinner) – ‘Don’t worry, I have a cover story.’

Jack had bought lunch. In order to keep things fair I wanted to buy him dinner. I really wanted to get something for Jill too, but she declined. We walked through all the options and came to rest on a cheesesteak truck that he likes. The one I got had roasted garlic and roasted mushrooms on it; it was amazing. We ate next to the lake and talked about passer-bys.

I’ll admit I kept my eye open for someone to recognize us. Well, not me, but Jack. He spoke often of his frustration of having so much local family and struggling to be poly with so much potential judgment. So, I had come up with several cover stories. Several involving being a mom from his daughter’s school. A few also included visiting for my job as a consultant. I’m not sure either would have gone down with his relatives, but I don’t think either of us really cared. Honestly, the possibility of seeing relatives did keep me from touching him as much as I wanted.

After we finished our sandwiches we walked along the man-made lake. I think we talked about he and Jill’s upcoming trip to see their secondary couple. I remember the pang of jealousy. Knowing that I was going to be leaving the following morning made me want to soak up as much as I could. The drive home was quiet.

Going down on Jill – ‘So…Sir wants a video.’

Jill came home looking fantastic. Not that she need to do anything to her hair, but it did look great. I felt comfortable enough to ask for a drink and the other two joined me. It was nice to chat about Jill’s day. We filled her in on the call from Jack’s mom at lunch. The phrase, ‘she bought her more crap’ was mentioned at least twice. We made our way down the hall to the bedroom laughing at all the junk our children seem to collect and how most of it is our parents’ fault.

When we made it to the bedroom, the tension rose. Jack lovingly helped Jill and I undress. I quickly found my way to Jill’s nipples as Jack knelt between her legs. After several orgasms he announced that it was my turn. Sir had asked that I be told to go down on Jill and that video evidence be provided. I was happy to oblige, but felt it completely unfair that Jack got to go first. He knows her body so well. This would be the first time I would ever play with a pussy that wasn’t my own, I needed all the help I could get.

Jill was lovely. I could feel her body relax as massaged her clit. Her folds were so soft and warm. She responded with moans and twitches as I explored her body. She tasted sweet, though having cum so many times for Jack may have been part of this. I rubbed her legs as she began sucking Jack’s cock. I considered fingering her, but as I hadn’t trimmed my nails I decided against it. The last thing I wanted was to hurt or cut her while trying to make her cum.

Jack was watch us and encouraging me. He would react to her twitches with, ‘looks like she liked that’, and ‘you’re going to make her cum if you keep that up’. And, in his all knowing way, he was right. I was almost more proud of making her cum than I was of his four multiples earlier in the day. We curled up to get ready for bed and I felt like quite an accomplished sub. Sir would be so proud of his loan. The only thing that dampened it was that I didn’t want to have to leave the next morning.

Classic train station goodbye – ‘I will see you again.’

Jill had to get up even earlier than normal for work. But she said goodbye before she left. It was so nice to spend time with her. And we decided that on my next visit she would have to take a day off to play. Jack and I curled back up in bed after she left. We both need to have one last connection before I had to leave. It was pretty epic as I recall; another set of sheets to wash. I sipped coffee from a Beauty and the Beast coffee cup (classic!) and packed my last few things into my suitcase. Jack copied all of the 2,000+ photos on my SD card and we wheeled my luggage down to the car.

We drove to the train station, talking and laughing. Pretending that nothing was wrong or off as we pulled into an employee parking space. “We’ll only be here for a bit”. Conversation passed through topics of weekend plans and how we were possibly going to write out the events of the past few days. We completely ignored random passer-bys as we made-out. As the time to leave got closer, we both shared how much we had enjoyed the time. How much we didn’t want to go. He grabbed my leg while we talked; just wanting to keep that closeness as long as possible. He drove me around to the drop-off and helped get my bag out of the trunk. Our kisses and hugs took on this classic 50’s film goodbye for me.

I watched him pull away and half considered chasing after him just for the effect. Though I really wanted one last hug as well. Once I got settled on my way down to L.A. I felt the rush of every emotion over the last days flood my system. All the lovely memories and moments. But mostly, fear. Fear that I would never see him again. Fear that he would forget me and our time together wouldn’t affect him. I’m not sure why I thought that, and I felt bad for even considering that he would treat me that way. But I think I did because of the overarching concern flood my brain. I cared about him. I cared about him a lot. And I wanted him to care about me.

Epilogue – ‘You will never be just some woman I fucked.’

Everything I knew (or thought I knew) about non-monogamy in general led me to believe that love (or strong feelings in general) wasn’t involved. A poly-amorous person would have live-in lovers and be in multiple committed relationships, but I didn’t pull the same definition for non-monogamy. Specifically as it pertained to he and his wife’s arrangement. He likes to fuck. He wants to fuck as many people as possible. And while I certainly don’t judge him for that, that’s not the way I tend to work. My connections run very deep and form very fast. This probably explains why I’ve only slept with six people (including him and his wife). I always saw non-monogamy as a more casual sex arrangement.

I think I just really want him to like me. And I don’t know why, when he says he does, I can’t just take it at face value? I don’t know what I expect. The next day I saw a gift, while shopping with my cousin, that I thought would be perfect for him. I didn’t buy it because I was worried that would be too forward. I think it’s just sheer confusion about how to approach this. We are both married, with young children. We both have jobs, responsibilities, and live on opposite sides of the country.

But I want to see him again. I want to see him again soon. Like suddenly I’m back in a long-distance relationship. But I’m smitten and I don’t know when we might to get to be together again. I’m going to have to go back to work and see friends. And I cannot tell anyone about the portion of my trip that meant the most to me. This experience has been more amazing than I could have imagined.

California Cuisine – Where Rye Eats Everything

Rye naked on the floor in California
A California Nap.
Second Breakfast (oral revisited) – ‘I will have victory’

The second morning I decided to try oral again. After Jill left for work I pounced on him. I changed position slightly from the day before so he could play with me while I worked (I make it sound like I’m a dwarf headed to the mine or something). I thought it might be distracting, but could also help me read how he was enjoying himself. The latter worked well. I was able to use his hand movements to let me know to go faster or slower. It did take awhile (he wasn’t lying), but when I found a good rhythm he enjoyed I felt myself relax into something I love to do. When he came it was amazing. I was so happy I was able to give that to him, happy that he enjoyed it, and proud of myself for sticking with it.

Usually Sir will get very sensitive after an orgasm and will tell me to stop. But as Jack didn’t move or give me any instruction to change what I was doing I continued. He moaned several more times as I kept the same speed and pressure. When I did stop and lay down next to him he had a euphoric face that I couldn’t stop smiling at. He explained that he had had four multiple orgasms due to my continued work. That had never happened to him before, the most he had ever had was two. And in a completely un-submissive way I was proud. I love the idea that I gave him something that no one else had to be able to remember our few days together.

First mission burrito – ‘A thing of beauty’

After a lovely morning of numerous orgasms and my conquering the mountain of oral sex, we decided lunch was key. As I had never been to California before he was a little overwhelmed with all the food options he wanted to show me. Soon we decided on a ‘real’ burrito. Apparently Ohio just doesn’t understand the majesty of what a burrito is. When I texted Sir to check-in and tell him where we were going for lunch, his response was, “A real mission-style burrito is a thing of beauty”.

So, considering the hype of this treasured delicacy, I was prepared to be let down. You should be proud of me, gentle reader. I ordered a marginally healthy option and didn’t finish it. I mean, putting all that rice, chicken, beans, and cheese on a spinach wrap makes it healthy, right? But it tasted amazing. It was perfectly balanced. Spicy enough to be flavorful without overpowering everything. I will concede that Ohio is way behind the eight-ball when it comes to this foodstuff.

Jack’s mom called while we were out to ‘check and see how we were doing’. It was cute. Apparently, as any good grandparent should, she had spoiled her granddaughter and had called to fill dad in on all the swag. He sighed as she ran down the list of Build-A-Bear purchases with his daughter screaming in the background. I’m glad I’m not the only parent to have those conversations. I kept trying not to laugh. Even though his mom knew the reason for her babysitting, I didn’t feel it was right to be that ‘she’s here right now’ about it.

We wandered through a toy store on the way back to the car. I really wanted to hold hands while we walked, but that seemed a step too far. Both he and Jill have local family, so discretion is key. Instead we looked at Legos and enjoyed just being ourselves.

Scene change – ‘Your living room carpet is very comfortable’

When we got back from lunch I stripped naked, because who needs clothes, and lay down on the carpet in the living room. Since moving to our new house, which is all hardwood floor, I have missed the comfort of a nice carpet. Jack seemed quite entertained by my quirkiness (thank heavens) and went to grab the camera and the condoms. We went through quite a few of them and he got a pretty hot video (if I do say so myself) of me squirting all over everything. I don’t know if he’s going to to post it or not, but I may try to edit it down and put some of it up.

Later, after another multitude of orgasms and yet another round of laundry, we cuddled up again. Talking about people that we both follow on twitter and blogs we read. We are both writers, so looking at how we both write was interesting.

Then he reminded me, “I still haven’t taken your ass.”

“I guess we better remedy that,” was my response.

Tune in tomorrow for the epic conclusion of ‘Rye does Northern California’ (doesn’t sound quite as nice as Debbie does Dallas, I’ll admit).

Self Care Doesn’t Pay the Bills

Twitter Boyfriend: I do hope that you are giving yourself enough care and attention and not trying to be superwoman or supermom too much.

Me: Self care and attention doesn’t pay the bills. I am trying though.

Twitter Boyfriend: I know it does. But I do see some things that you’ve worked on taking a bit of a backseat at the moment. Just want to know that this is only temporary.

Me: Like what?

Twitter Boyfriend: Your writing and diet tracking are the two I’ve notice. I suspect there are other I don’t see – reading/craft I suspect.

Me: I wish I could argue with that.


Balance is something that I used to be good at. At least, I thought I was. I would make sure I set aside time for myself when I was working. I would take a half day or even a whole day off every few months to relax. I would wear sweat pants, sew, clean; it was nice to feel productive and have ‘me time’. I could always balance time with Sir and his work without issue. Even in law school we managed to set aside time for one another.

Flash forward to two kids, a house, a dog, and two full-time jobs. Three if you count my business. My tight rope has gotten narrower and my balance has worsened. And that isn’t even taking into account our attempts at D/s in and out of the bedroom. I just feel like the ‘have to’ things are always taking precedent over the ‘want to’ items. The twitter boyfriend commented that my writing and diet tracking haven’t been great lately. But they haven’t. Work and birthday parties have been my focus for weeks now.

So now, how to get balance back? I hate to put too much pressure on it, but I have high hopes for my California trip. Even the plane flights. Time to read my book, or write some flash fiction. I have a day on a train. No joke, I get on the train at around 9:30 am and don’t get into L.A. until near 10 pm that night. I’m honestly just as excited for that as I am for my first threesome. Don’t judge me!

I think over the next few weeks before my trip I want to try and find a better way to balance things. Hopefully that won’t continue to mean that my diet and creative projects aren’t ignored. Maybe even some more regular D/s play could be found to fit in somewhere. Full bondage or wax play may not work in the schedule, but more spankings are always a good thing.

Whose really getting the vacation?

Today after work the kids and I are heading to the beach house my parents are renting. It’s just for the weekend. They have been their for the last week sending me torturous pictures of them sitting in lawn chairs with mixed drinks while I’m at work. I am hoping to get through one smut book a few cocktails while my dad chases the kids around.

Sir is staying home with the dog to try and get work done.  It’s terrible, but I’m a little jealous. No kids screaming in your ear at 5:30am. No house full of people to pepper you with questions about life, job, house, etc. And no 3-hour drive with the kids complaining that we aren’t there yet. Why did I agree to this again?

All whining aside it should be a nice time. And considering my Californian sex vacation in October, I can’t really begrudge Sir this break. I’m just trying not to think about work that I should be doing. It will all be here when I get home, so I’ll just focus on my book and drink instead.

I’m not sure about the quality of the internet connection though. So I may be M.I.A. until Monday. I am trying to sort out a Sinful Sunday post though, so we’ll see. And hopefully I’ll at least be able to post lovely pictures of me relaxing on twitter.

Fresh Fantasies

Okay, time to let go of the last week and make that experience a memory. Time to move on to what is coming. And hopefully that will be me… a lot (okay, you knew I couldn’t side step that opportunity).

I ordered my tickets for my sexy vacation this fall. I guess technically it’s only half a sexy vacation. I will be spending the second half of it visiting my cousin in Los Angeles. She’s been out there for almost a year now. She’s doing well, but I miss her. She’s the youngest on both sides of my family and I always looked at her as a little sister. I’ll be crashing on her couch  for a few nights while she shows me around town. We are even talking about getting matching tattoos. She is the other tattoo addict in the family. It should be a good time.

However, before I head down to her I’ll be hopefully crashing in bed (not their couch) with a couple on the west coast. It’s not really a loan by Sir, he’s just letting me have some fun with a pair I’ve been flirting with for the last several months. If anything, he’s jealous that my first threesome won’t be with him. Not that he begrudges me this experience. At this point the way I grin from ear to ear whenever we talk about it, he is almost as excited as I am. I have been ordered to get lots of pictures though.

In any case the fantasies that have resulted from this upcoming trip have been numerous. All those films where people meet at the airport. It starts like that. And ends with naked Chinese food and eighties movies.

Maybe my fantasies aren’t normal. In which case, don’t judge my naked Chinese food fantasies.

Me time with others

So I have set a few things in motion this week that could turn out to be an amazing experience for me.

My younger cousin moved out to Los Angeles last fall. She has big dreams to work behind the camera in film and the talent to do it. But she is smart enough to work her way up the ladder and has a job that is helping her make contacts and get some good experience. I’m really proud of her. The bummer is that we don’t really have family out there and she is pretty much alone. She’s done well, but her depression has hit recently and she’s been struggling. So I am working out a way to fly out and visit her this fall. This would be my first non-work related vacation without Sir since we got married and my first vacation period without the kids. I am so excited to travel through an airport without children and sixteen bags in tow.

I was saving to try and go to Eroticon next year (hope those that are going this year have a blast), but the organizers announced that they are taking a year off. And spending time with my cousin seems nice too. I’ve never been to California, so it would be a whole new experience for me.

Speaking of new experiences, I may have another stop on my trip out west. I have been chatting with a friend for a while on Twitter and through blogs. And this trip might be the perfect opportunity to meet him (and his lovely wife) for a few nights of fun before I head south. Talk about knocking multiple items off my 101 Things list at once.

I am trying not to get too excited before the plane tickets have been purchased, but playing with another couple is a huge turn on. And the fact that Sir has been really supportive has been so nice. He even shot a video of me licking his cock to send them; just in case they wanted proof of my skills. I think that has been the most surprising piece of this. As it comes together he has gotten excited for me. He knows how much I want this, but if he said ‘no’ it wouldn’t even be considered. Instead he is helping me price tickets and even found this amazing coastal train that I will take down to L.A. It has wifi so I can write and relax and reflect on everything that has just happened. Photo uploads may have to wait until I’m some where slightly more private though.