Chasing Me Chasing You

An uncollared submissive struggling through depression, motherhood, and the constant craving of her next orgasm.

Responsibilities vs. Expectations

Submissive Sanctuary wrote a great piece today about dominant responsibilities. I started writing a comment and it was so long I felt too weird leaving it.

The gist of my response was that I think she raises some great points. But it’s difficult to balance everything with expectations.

Sir has a lot on his plate right now, we all do. And he always meets the responsibilities that I see him having. Similar to Alpha’s:
Not to harm me
To listen
To care for me and the kids

But expectations are tricky things. Sir is great with the kids. And he always feels terrible when he can’t put me first. Which leads me to feel horrible when I want to be put first. Is that weird as a submissive?

But I think our conclusions end up being the same. It’s about keeping your word. He’s never lied to me. As crazy as things have been, we’ve always had a ‘no promises’ policy. My expectations are my own. I have a high sex drive and have gotten really needy over the past few months. But he’s done everything he can to be there for me.

No promises means that we do what we can. He’s never broken a promise and had to apologize. I think that he likes that we had that in place before we started TTWD. He doesn’t have to say he’s sorry when he can’t do everything that I want. He gives what he can and I am more than happy to get it. I appreciate him so much more because my submission is always appreciated and his dominance is sincere. Even if he can’t be ‘on’ all the time due to other responsibilities.

Responsibilities and expectations do not always meet, but Sir takes both very seriously.

Thanks to Lil and her wonderful, thoughtful post.

4 Responses to “Responsibilities vs. Expectations”

  • Misty

    lil did write a great post, huh? You shouldn’t have felt werid leaving a long comment…she brings out the muse in a lot of us. 🙂

    I realized a while back that its okay to ‘want’ but as soon as those wants turn into expectations…that’s when it gets tricky.

    • CollaredMom

      I’m still struggling with the wants/expectation balance. I hope it gets easier with time.

  • Florida Dom

    As a Dom, this is a good topic. It is easy for a Dom to slack off at times and not give the submissive the control and dominance she needs and craves. It sounds like your Sir is doing a very well at bringing out your submissive side. Good luck in the future. And you are so fortunate you found this lifestyle at such a young age.


    • CollaredMom

      He tries his best, I’m a needy thing. And I didn’t realize until I started reading blogs how lucky I was to find my submissive side so young. And to have a spouse so willing to dive into this with me.

      I’m glad I’m not the only one who found the topic so interesting.


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