Kaya over at Under His Hand has nominated me for a Real Neat Blog award! Thank you!
Here are the stipulations:
1) Put the award logo in your post
2) Answer 7 questions asked by the person who nominated you
3) Nominate any number of bloggers you like, linking to their blogs
4) Let them know you nominated them
1. How long have you been blogging? How has your blogging changed from the beginning to now?
I have been blogging since 2009. I started by reviewing restaurants and various boutique shops in our small neighborhood in Pittsburgh, PA. I wasn’t paid or anything, it was just a break from studying for my masters degree. After I finished my degree and got a ‘real job’, I started blogging about the renovations we were doing to our house. In 2010, I created ‘Chasing Me Chasing You’, which was about our journey to get pregnant with our first child. And, after getting pregnant, I didn’t really have time to blog anymore. So, now, two kids and a move later, I decided that blogging again about our D/s journey would help me to vocalize issues that arise with Sir and help me remember this time together.
2. Have you had a ‘scene’ end badly? How was that handled, if so? Did it shake the confidence of either of you for the next scene?
Yes, and yes. We have actually had several scenes go awry as we’ve started this. Most are my fault, if I’m honest. I want to take all the pain he wants to give me, and there have been times when I don’t safeword when I should. He knows that I am just trying to please him, but I think it shakes him to question whether I am alright or not. He’s not blameless, but this has been a learning experience and I’m sure, as much as I had to admit it, there will probably be more mishaps on both our parts.
3. Do you have any rituals in your relationship? If so, what are they? If not, do you wish you did?
I wish we had more rituals. We have a couple service rituals before he leaves for work and when he gets home. I have to ask to have a drink and I have daily tasks to complete. At bed time I have to ask to get a shower and to get into bed. I think we would both like more high protocol rituals, but until the baby gets through the night more regularly, we don’t want to shoot ourselves in the foot.
4. What is your opinion on the “has to’s” for a dominant? Do you think there are any actions or decisions a dominant “has to” make? Are there any particular actions or decisions that your dominant makes that cement his or her role to you?
I don’t think there is a ‘has to’ that is relevant for all dominants. The control a dominant takes is as fluid as the control a submissive gives. I’m sure there are general things that most D/s relationships involve, but I don’t believe there are strict rules on the subject. Sir cements his domination over me by restricting my sexual release. Having to ask permission to cum is one of the strongest ways that he expresses his control.
5. If you are/could be an activist in the world of kink, what is/would your cause be and why. What about outside the world of kink?
I think I would like to be an activist for families. I know that sounds weird, but follow me. There are a lot of couples like us, who have kids, who don’t get to be social and take part in the activities we would like to. I would like to help start groups of BDSM couples to support issues that we all face. How you maintain your relationship with your kids in the house. Locations and babysitting groups to watch kids so parents can occasionally go out to munches or play parties. Something to help those with children (and grandchildren) to still feel a part of the community even when their evenings are not often free.
Outside the world of kink I would like to work with children and adult with developmental disabilities. There is always a shortage of funds and resources for these individuals and families need support and care.
6. Do you ever fall victim to the comparison trap of kink? Have you ever pushed yourself to take more because so-n-so did it? Have you ever felt your dominant wasn’t doing it right because you don’t have some of the seemingly standard rules or practices that others have?
I used to compare vanilla relationships on facebook, so kink comparison was bound to happen. And, Sir being a sadist, while I am not a masochist has led to a lot of pain-taking comparisons on my part. A lot of the blogs I read are masochist slaves, and I marvel at their abilities. I want to be able to take more for Sir, but not getting anything from it but his happiness isn’t easy. And, as much as I want him to be happy, I won’t be nailing my tits to anything any time soon (sorry Kaya).
I generally compare myself to other subs, rather that Sir to other Doms. I do compare my feelings from scene to scene; using that as a baseline of his performance.
7. What are your top 5 favorite websites on the World Wide Web? Do you spend more time on kink-oriented sites or vanilla sites?
Lately, kink-oriented, but:
Twitter.com – not sure if it counts as I get it on my phone too, but I am constantly on and following people.
Netflix.com – I work from home and get sucked into shows way too easily.
Etsy.com – If you have never been, be prepared to be addicted. Some beautiful day collars, cuffs, and impact toys that are hand-made and well priced. Sir bought my day collar here.
Tumblr.com – I follow a lot of kinky people who post sexy pictures on tumblr. I’m counting these all as one ‘site’, Dauntless Arousal, Her Secret Library, & Exploring-Discovering-Craving to name a few.
Wicked Wednesday – This is a meme run by Marie. Molly is also currently running Kink of the Week, for Jade. But I really like to read all the different blogs responses to weekly prompt. I try to write every week as well. Great for those looking for inspiration, or wanting to challenge their creativity.