Chasing Me Chasing You

An uncollared submissive struggling through depression, motherhood, and the constant craving of her next orgasm.

Selling Myself (not just my body, sorry)

So I am applying for a job. A real job. An out of the house, salaried, have to put on a bra job.
I want a career. Don’t get me wrong, this last year has been amazing. I’ve appreciated this time with my kids and having a real maternity leave (with my first son I got five weeks). But I have always had professional goals, long before I became a sub. Eventually I may end up being a kept slave, but right now that’s not really in the cards. We have two boys to raise and student loan debt to pay. Sir works hard, but financial stability would be a lot easier if I was contributing. Right now my part-time paycheck hardly covers the boy’s daycare. And having some extra money for lube and sex camps is never a bad thing.
But there is a small problem. And it is already starting. Sir is getting excited. So is my mom; so am I. The problem with this is that there is no guarantee that I will get it. There is no guarantee that I will even get an interview. But excitement is hard to stamp out. My mom is looking at the local schools and the housing market. Sir is considering how feasible it is to open his firm there. It all sounds great. But if I don’t get it I will feel like I let them down. Job searching has always been a huge depression trigger for me. You’re really putting yourself out there. Like telling someone you’re interested in them, and they respond with ‘no, thanks’.
And here is the big problem that makes the small problem small. I am terrible at job applications. My cover letters are a mess. I cannot talk about myself like that. Selling my skills and attributes is really difficult. Talking to you all about anal sex is easy. Trying to convey that I am the best person for this amazing opportunity is tough. If I can get an interview I can usually do well. Only once have I gotten an interview and not gotten the job. But if I can’t impress them on paper, they’ll never be intrigued enough to want to meet me.
I am good. I have an amazing work ethic and am a quick learner. I am that team player that will pick up everyone else’s slack so that we meet our deadline. I am organized and thoughtful and always willing to stay late or arrive early. I bring a wealth of experience and a unique set of skills while always being willing to learn.
But that doesn’t read well. Ugh. Maybe I just need to start paying the lottery.


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